S.S.

Characters:

 * Narrator
 * Saw
 * Leafy
 * Bubble
 * Drew
 * Kid In the Cowboy Glasses
 * Tennis Ball
 * Lollipop
 * Handy
 * Hans Findlay
 * Golf Ball
 * The Real Saw

Script

 * Narrator: Halloween is no different under the waves. Pirates, skeletons, and sea monsters. [laughs evilly] Ohh, sorry. Everyone is having fun. Well, almost everyone. [Saw is washing the dishes in Goiky kitchen. The door creaks open, and Saw jumps in surprise]
 * Saw: Huh? Who's there? [door creaks open some more as Saw goes back to washing some dishes. Turns around and three pieces of paper spelling out "boo" turn on the ordering turntable. Saw speeds up the cleaning of the dishes until he finishes]
 * Saw: Okay, Leafy, the dishes are done, I'm leaving! [tries running out, but Leafy stops him in his tracks]
 * Leafy: Hold on. Don't you want to hear my annual scary story?
 * Saw: No thank you, Leafy. Uhh, does it have monsters in it?
 * Leafy: Aye, the worst monster of them all.
 * Saw: Uhh... no. [opens the door then turns around] Is it a true story?
 * Leafy: True as the deep blue.
 * Saw: Okay, maybe just a little.
 * Leafy: Have a seat, me boy. [runs while saying "hot, hot, hot when carrying the campfire" sits on a log. Leafy puts a campfire in the middle of them] Every year on Halloween night, Saw descends on Goiky, in a pirate ship, just like this. [holds up a hamburger] Only bigger!
 * Saw: Excuse me, did his ship look like a hamburger?
 * Leafy: Like I was saying, Saw swoops down and starts stealing people's souls. [holds up a pickle]
 * Saw: Do souls look like pickles?
 * Leafy: Aye, as a matter of fact, they do. And he puts them where you can never get them... in his soul bag. [drops the pickle into a bag that has the words "Goiky" crossed out and the word "soul" written above it. Leafy laughs evilly as Bubble appears behind Saw in a pirate suit]
 * Bubble: I've come for your pickle. [Saw jumps up screaming]
 * Leafy: Ah, S.S. gets easier to scare every year! [Bubble takes the costume off as Saw, in a barrel, sees the pirate was Bubble]
 * Saw: Humph, Bubble!
 * Leafy: Nothing like a good ghost story, eh, me boy? Hope you're not too scared to come to my party tonight, Saw S.S.! [laughs while walking out]
 * Bubble: [walks up behind Saw] Steal your soul. [Saw jumps out of Goiky screaming and begins to walk home. As he is walking home, he sees a jack-o-lantern and then he walks up to a kid in a cowboy costume]
 * Kid: Twick-or-tweet! [Saw screams and runs away. The kid’s parents walk up next to their son]
 * Mother: It's okay, son. That's just Saw S.S.. [Saw is walking home until Drew drives up and honks the horn, sending Saw screaming and jumping to hold onto the street light]
 * Drew: Happy Halloween, S.S.. [drives off laughing]
 * Saw: The name's Saw. It's Saw! [Cut later at his house, inside a pumpkin. Saw and Handy are inside of it] I don't get it, Handy. Every Halloween, no matter how hard I try, everybody scares me.
 * Handy: Meow.
 * Saw: [carves the pumpkin from the inside] Well, I'm sick of it. [Saw comes out] No more S.S.! [notices the pumpkin and screams while running into his closet]
 * Tennis Ball: Saw!
 * Saw: Handy, it's a Tennis Ball! I'm going to scare him! It's my turn. [opens the door and tries to scare Tennis Ball] Rawr! [Tennis Ball has some funny glasses on]
 * Tennis Ball: Hiya, Saw! [Saw screams. Tennis Ball takes the glasses off] Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
 * Saw: Why can't I be frightening for once? Where's my chance?
 * Tennis Ball: Well, if you want to be scary, you have to need a good costume. [later, Saw walks out of the closet with a big, white sheet on]
 * Saw: What do you think?
 * Tennis Ball: Great! You're going as my trick-or-treat bag!
 * Saw: No, no! I'm the ghost of Saw!
 * Tennis Ball: Uhh... something's missing. I know! [Tennis Ball runs inside Saw's closet. A tree falls down but then gets sawed down by Tennis Ball. Tennis Ball comes out with a pair of clogs] Step into these babies, Hans Findlay. [Saw steps into the clogs] Terrifying.
 * Saw: I don't know, Tennis Ball. [doorbell rings]
 * Tennis Ball: Come on, Saw. They're little kids! Little kids are easy to scare! [door opens]
 * Kids: Trick-or-treat!
 * Saw: [jumps out and tries to scare the kids like he did Tennis Ball] Rawr-rawr! [kids laugh]
 * Kid #1: Look, it's the haunted mattress!
 * Saw: Okay, okay, here's your candy.
 * Kid #1: No, please, that was enough of a treat, thank you. [kids walk away laughing]
 * Saw: I don't get it, Tennis Ball.
 * Tennis Ball: Saw, look at my new paper ghost! [Tennis Ball holds scissors in his right hand and has a puppet on his left hand] Oooh, scary.
 * Saw: That is it, Tennis Ball!
 * Tennis Ball: What's it?
 * Saw: What's the difference between that ghost and me? [Tennis Ball concentrates]
 * Tennis Ball: No, no, no wait. Don't tell me. [concentrates more] D-don't tell me. Don't tell me! Don't tell me! I can do this. Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Okay, tell me.
 * Saw: I have a saw head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I'm scary! [Saw is now sitting on a chair in his bathroom. Tennis Ball has goggles on]
 * Tennis Ball: Okay, are you ready?
 * Saw: [shows paper ghost] Remember, like this. [Tennis Ball razors off Saw's sides]
 * Tennis Ball: Are you sure you want to do this?
 * Saw: Shave me down, make me round! [Tennis Ball razors off more and uses one piece to wipe off the sweat from his forehead]
 * Tennis Ball: All right, let's get to it. [razors off more parts. Later, Saw is a round ghost]
 * Saw: What do you think?
 * Tennis Ball: Perfect. Now that's scary! [Tennis Ball puts on his funny glasses] Let's go scare somebody. [Saw runs down a street trying to scare people]
 * Saw: Oooh... I'm Saw!
 * Tennis Ball: Oooh... I don't know who I am! [man opens door]
 * Saw: Rawr! Rawr! I'm Saw!
 * Tennis Ball: Oooh, I'm Saw's best friend! [both run off laughing]
 * Man: Hey, don't you kids want your candy? [both jump behind some skeleton head]
 * Tennis Ball: Oh, boy, that was something. Your costume really packs a punch.
 * Saw: Do you think?
 * Tennis Ball: Oh, no question! You scared the chains off that guy!
 * Saw: Who should we scare next?
 * Tennis Ball: There's a whole party just full of people down at Goiky and Saw is going to show up uninvited. [kids laughing] Oh! Here comes someone now! [Saw jumps out to scare the kids from earlier]
 * Saw: Rawr! Rawr! I'm Saw! [Saw & Tennis Ball run off laughing again]
 * Kid #2: Wasn't that the Haunted Mattress?
 * Kid #3: I guess he's been demoted to a haunted sleeping bag! [kids laugh.]
 * [Later, Leafy is bobbing for apples with Lollipop, who is dressed up as Frankenstein's bride. Leafy successfully bobs an apple, but accidentally swallows it. Leafy chokes on an apple]
 * Lollipop: Oh, dad, you're embarrassing me again! [cries and runs off. Krabs spits out the apple which shoots past Bubble and Golf Ball, breaking a window off-screen in the process]
 * Golf Ball: Howdy, Bubble, I mean, Saw. Great party, huh?
 * Bubble: What are you supposed to be?
 * Golf Ball: Why, I'm a pet goldfish in a bowl!
 * Bubble: I don't get it. [Saw and Tennis Ball are on the roof of Goiky. Saw is tied up with some rope which Tennis Ball will lower him in with. Saw opens a door on the roof to peek through to look at the party]
 * Tennis Ball: Are you ready, Saw? [thumbs up from Saw]
 * Saw: Okay, Tennis Ball, kill the lights!
 * [lights go off. As soon as this happens, everybody begins panicking and running around screaming. Saw is lowered in appearance with a scary look. Tennis Ball begins talking through a megaphone to scare everyone. Leafy even hides in the apple barrel]
 * Tennis Ball: Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am Saw! Booga, booga, booga, booga! Give me your souls! [a jellyfish comes up behind Tennis Ball and zaps him in the butt.] Huh? [Tennis Ball stands there for a few seconds. He screams and starts running around in circles] Ow! Ow!
 * Saw: Whoa! [flails around in and around, then dangles upside down, revealing his pants]
 * Kid #3: [notices Saw's pants] Hey, that's no Saw, that's Saw!
 * Golf Ball: Saw?
 * Bubble: Saw. [everyone laughs]
 * Saw: [still dangling] Help! Help!
 * Tennis Ball: [using megaphone] I am not Saw. Those are my street clothes! [thunder appears and the front doors are open]
 * Saw: Enough! [Everyone gasps as green smoke comes into Goiky. A green figure appears, it turns out to be Saw. He does an evil laugh making everyone scream in terror.]]
 * Leafy: It's the real Saw! [he faints]
 * Saw: You bet your white lily livers I'm Saw. And I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm going to steal your souls. [everyone screams] Quiet! [breathes out flames to burn them] You had it coming, you little crybabies. Every year, people dress up like me. [Bubble takes the costume off and whistles nonchalantly] Turning Saw name in a laughingstock. But that's not the reason I'm taking your souls. [pointing at Saw, who is hanging upside down] No, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Out of all the Saw costumes I've seen, yours is the most insulting.
 * Saw: Do you mean I'm not scary?
 * Saw: You? Scary?! [cackles, then cuts the rope holding Saw, and he falls to the floor] Let me tell you about scary, kid. There's all kinds of scary things in the world. Spiders are scary, ghosts are scary, vampires are scary, witches are scary, mummies are scary, uhh, I'm scary. You... you're not scary. Okay, let's get this over with. [flies back to the partygoers to steal their souls and evilly laughs in their faces again which makes everyone scream in terror again, one fish even shaking his head begging for mercy]
 * Golf Ball: Saw!
 * Saw: First, I gotta get rid of this stupid costume. [removes Saw's ghost costume...then stares at Saw in horror. Saw flies out of Goiky screaming. Saw is now shown as skinless with just a handle, eyes, and a mouth with the lower half of the body]
 * Saw: Hey, what do you know? I scared him! [laughs. Everyone else, except Tennis Ball and himself, runs out screaming] It worked, Tennis Ball. I scared everybody!
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
 * Saw: Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat. That's my handle.
 * Tennis Ball: Ohh... [he runs away screaming. fade to black]
 * Saw: [off-screen] Don't worry, it moves back!