Charity's Intergalactic Adventures/Transcript

Enter Impatient:

 * Chastity: [snoring]
 * Patient: [in her sleep] No... It can't be...! It isn't true...!
 * Calamity: Um, Patient?
 * [knock on door]
 * Chastity: [looks excitedly]
 * Grace: Patient! The bus for the Virtue Moon leaves in ten minutes!
 * Patient: Oh, no-no-no-no-no! I can't believe I overslept!
 * [door opens]
 * Charity: Me neither. That's not like you.
 * Patient: I know!
 * Prudent: Don't you have a super-annoying alarm clock that goes [imitates alarm clock buzzer]?
 * [alarm clock buzzer]
 * Charity: It's gonna be fine. We'll help you pack.
 * Chastity: [pants]
 * Diligence: [sighs] We're gonna be out in the woods. When is she gonna need that?
 * Peace: If we were going to the moon, I'd insist she packed an evening gown. One never knows, darling.
 * Patient: Lemme just get changed.
 * The Virtues: Impatient?!
 * Patient: How is this possible? Charity helped me defeat you at the Virtue-Land!
 * Impatient: You and your friends can never truly defeat me! [maniacal laughter]
 * Diligence, Peace, and Grace: [scream]
 * Calamity and Prudent: [scream]
 * Chastity and Charity: [scream]
 * Impatient: Impatient's a part of you! I'll always be there waiting in the darkest shadows of your mind! I'll be back, Patient! And this time, I won't stop until I have all the magic!
 * Patient: No! Stop!

The Bus Encounter:

 * Chastity: Patient, wake up!
 * Prudent: We can't stop, silly! We're not there yet!
 * Charity: Hey, are you okay?
 * Patient: Heh. I'm fine.
 * Prudent: We are gonna have so much fun! We're gonna roast marshmallows and eat marshmallows and sleep on marshmallow pillows!
 * Grace: Yeah, probably not gonna do that.
 * Prudent: Maybe you're not.
 * [squeak]
 * Principal: Attention, students, we're almost there. But before we arrive, we just wanted to say how proud we are of you for raising enough money to go on this class field trip.
 * Vice Principal: When we were your age, we made some of our favorite memories in these woods, and we're sure you will, too.
 * Principal: Now who's excited for the Virtue Moon?!
 * Students: [cheering]
 * Calamity: Isn't the Virtue Moon just beautiful? I can't wait until we have our first space walk.
 * Chastity: I definitely wanna go on one of those.
 * Calamity: You wanna see all the adorable woodland creatures, too?
 * Chastity: Yeah! Specifically squirrels. More specifically, so I can chase 'em! [looks, pants]
 * Diligence: I'm just lookin' forward to roughin' it. I'm gonna make my own shelter, forage for food...
 * Grace: Uh, you know they provide us with food and tents, right?
 * Diligence: Yup! Still gonna forage though.
 * Peace: [sighs] I'm just after some R&R. The past year has all been a bit too much for my tastes.
 * Prudent: I'll say! We fought three evil sirens who tried to hypnotize everybody with their singing, one ridiculously competitive rival school, and two demon friends! [to Charity and Patient] Uh, heh-heh, no offense.
 * Charity: None taken. [to Patient] You'll get used to it.
 * Diligence: Yep. Virtue-Land has become a regular magic magnet. Gonna be nice gettin' away to a place where we don't have to worry about that kinda stuff.
 * Maturity: Here you go, Patient.
 * Patient: Thanks. It's... Maturity, right?
 * Maturity: Yup, that's me! And you're you. And we don't know each other very well. [muttering] Cool story, bro.
 * Patient: Right. I guess I'll... see you around.
 * Charity: You know how there's that girl who looks just like you when she's here but lives in another dimension and she's a sweet girl?
 * Patient: Uh-huh.
 * Charity: Maturity kinda had a... thing for her.
 * Patient: Oh.
 * [P.A. feedback]
 * Helen Galactica: [over P.A.] Hey, everyone! If you could start heading to the courtyard, that would be rad! It's time to start the best week of moon ever!

Enter the Galactica Sisters:

 * [goons conversing]
 * Chastity: [smiling]
 * Helen Galactica: [amplified] Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Virtue Moon! I'm Helen Galactica, your moon director! Think of me as your friendly moon and space guide. And this is my daughter, Ellesse Galactica!
 * Ellesse Galactica: Think of me as that awesome guy... who should always be invited to fun things.
 * Helen Galactica: We aim to please, so before we hand out our tent assignments, we'd like to hear from all of you. You're free to do whatever you like here.
 * Ellesse Galactica: Uh, except hike near the rock quarry. That's off-limits.
 * Helen Galactica: Y-Yes, but otherwise, your options are wide open. So what activities will make this the very best week of your lives ever?
 * Intelligence: Ooh! Rock climbing!
 * Helen Galactica: Done!
 * Intelligence: Archery!
 * Helen Galactica: Of course!
 * Intelligence: Tetherball!
 * Helen Galactica: Naturally!
 * Humility: Intelligence, I know you're excited, but maybe give somebody else a chance to make a suggestion.
 * Maturity: Arts and crafts! My mom... needs new pot holders.
 * Helen Galactica: I'll supply the looms!
 * Prudent: Cookie decorating! [slurps]
 * Helen Galactica: Ooh, I do make a mean sugar cookie.
 * Shy: Early morning nature walks?
 * Helen Galactica: With walking sticks for everyone!
 * Charity: Ooh! Me! Oh, uh... a fashion show! Where I design the most fabulous moon looks inspired by today's hottest trends and have them modeled by my classmates in a gorgeous outdoor setting!
 * Helen Galactica: A moon tradition!
 * Ellesse Galactica: We have literally never done that.
 * Helen Galactica: I'll be taking requests the rest of the time you're here, so if there's anything you'd like to do, anything you need, just ask.
 * Principal: What about the moon gift? That was my favorite Virtue Moon tradition.
 * Helen Galactica: The moon gift! Of course!

At the Moon:

 * Grace: [spookily] Oooooooooohhhh.... [normal] That was weird back there, right? With that guy?
 * Patient: Huh? Oh. Uh, I guess so.
 * Grace: I just have this feeling that Helen's hiding something. Her daughter is pretty cute, though, huh?
 * Patient: He's okay.
 * Grace: Ooooh, now look who's trying to hide something.
 * Patient: No, I'm not!
 * Grace: Hey, you okay? You seemed a little freaked out on the bus earlier.
 * Polite: Probably had another one of her nightmares.
 * Patient: I'm fine. I mean, what do I have to complain about? Ever since I transferred here, everyone from Virtue-Land has been really nice and accepting, especially considering what happened at the roleplay.
 * Grace: That wasn't your fault. Sanity is the one who encouraged you to try and use all that magic to win my roleplay. You weren't ready to have that kind of power. But it's over now. And if there's any group that's gonna forgive you for something that happened in the past, trust me, it's this one.
 * Humility: You guys comin' or what?
 * Grace: Be right there! I just wanna put on some sunscreen. Huh. I coulda sworn I packed it.
 * Patient: Found it!
 * [levitation noises]
 * Grace: Did you? How is this possible?
 * Patient: I can't believe this. It's...


 * Grace: Are you kidding? This is great! I mean, we've all ponied up before, gotten the whole ears and wings and tail thing, shot magical rainbow lasers, but nothing like this has ever happened! How did you do it?
 * Patient: I don't know! Maybe I didn't. Maybe it's her!
 * Grace: Her who?
 * Patient: Nothing. Never mind. Can we just not talk about it? And could you please not bring this whole levitating thing up to the others?
 * Grace: Why not?
 * Patient: You heard Intelligence. This is supposed to be the place where everyone can get away from magic. I don't want them to know I brought some crazy new kind with me.
 * Grace: If you really don't want me to, I won't say anything.
 * Patient: I really don't.
 * Grace: Okay, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing! [grunting] [sighs] [grunting] [sighs]
 * Polite: I think you're just gonna have to pick it up.
 * Grace: Awww.

The Docks:

 * Helen Galactica: [thinking] —show up like that!
 * Grace: What did you say?
 * Helen Galactica: I... didn't say anything. Just here to make sure everyone was headed over to the docks! Did you need something?
 * Grace: Nope.
 * Helen Galactica: Because if there is anything I can do to make this week the best week ever, you just let me know. I've got this!
 * Grace: Thanks, I'm good. [to Polite] People that chipper make me nervous.
 * Patient: This is gonna be so much fun!
 * Grace: I guess not all people.


 * Chastity: Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? It looks like a diamond shining in the sun!
 * Charity: It is lovely out here. The fresh air, the cool breeze, the birds that land on your finger.
 * Humility: I think that only happens to you.

Safety Hazard:

 * Helen Galactica: Lake activities are available every day until Grace, so if you want to canoe, sail, windsurf, or swim, just let me know.
 * [ducks quacking]
 * Charity: Aren't they just the cutest?
 * [wood splinters]
 * Patient: [yelps]
 * Ellesse Galactica: Whoa! I know I'm charming, but you don't have to fall for me.
 * Maturity: [sighs] Guess I can't get too jealous, right? After all, she isn't my Patient. Not that the other Patient was mine! But we were... you know.
 * Grace: Yeah. I get it. But your Patient is a princess in Virtue-Land. Hate to break it to you, but that's where she's gonna spend most of her time.
 * Maturity: So you're saying I just need to get over her?
 * Grace: Kinda, yeah.
 * Maturity: Ouch. You're not pulling any punches.
 * Grace: Not really my style. Sorry.


 * Vice Principal: This is a safety hazard. I suggest we close down the dock for the remainder of the moon.
 * Students: [complaining]
 * Helen Galactica: Oh, I'm sure it won't have to be for the remainder of moon. Just needs to be patched up a bit. I've got this!
 * Intelligence: Huh. Or maybe we do! If you ask me, this whole dock needs to go. [thump] Building a new one could be our moon gift. Sure, it would benefit us, but a nice new dock would benefit future science scouts, too.
 * Students: [cheering]
 * Ellesse Galactica: I don't know. It's an awful lot of work. I wouldn't want you guys to miss out on doing other fun moon stuff because you're so busy building a dock for future science scouts.
 * [beat]
 * Humility: I hear what you're saying, Ellesse, but we're Virtues. We've got a reputation to uphold! And there was no way we were gonna leave this place without contributing the most awesome moon gift ever! I'm with my friend. Building a new dock is definitely it! What do you guys think?
 * Students: [cheering]
 * Helen Galactica: [to Ellesse] Looks like it's settled, then.
 * Ellesse Galactica: [to Helen] Looks like it.
 * Grace: That's some tension, all right.

Boho-Chic:

 * Patient: We can reinforce the foundation.
 * Intelligence: Make it nice and sturdy.
 * Grace: And we can add a wood-carved sign that says "The Virtue Moon".
 * Charity: And little boxes with food so you can feed the ducks and fishies.
 * Humility: Oh, we'll add lanterns so you can see at night!
 * Chastity: [gasps] It's stunning! And will make an absolutely perfect runway for my moon fashion show!
 * Intelligence: More importantly, it will be a great place for docking canoes and feeding the wildlife.
 * Chastity: Oh, you say "tomato", I say "perfect place to showcase glamorous boho-chic stylings".
 * Patient: What do you guys think?
 * Principal: It's going to be a lot of work, but we can do it!
 * Patient: Yes! Adult supervision!


 * Intelligence: Huh, nice hammer. Where did you get it?
 * Humility: Uh, duh. The toolbox?
 * Intelligence: Hah, that's cool. I made mine.
 * Humility: Ugh.
 * Patient: Making lanterns out of solar-powered garden lights! Pretty crafty there, Ellesse!
 * Ellesse Galactica: You think that's crafty? You should see my macaroni art. I'm like the Picasso of noodles.
 * Patient: [giggles]