The Price Tag of Admission


 * [Episode begins with a trailer of The Hitchhiker opening up with a dismal farmer.]
 * Narrator: "He was a humble farmer until a drought ravaged his land." [the farmlands have dried out and a tumbleweed passes by.] "Now, he's found a new crop..." [the farmer suddenly starts killing innocent victims with his scythe and Hitchhiking their organs in a cooler.] "...human organs! He is...The Hitchhiker! Opens this Friday."
 * [The title of the movie is bloodstained on the blade of the scythe. Price Tag has shown his mother the trailer on his phone.]
 * Monika: "Uh-uh, Price Tag, you are not seeing that movie. It is too scary for you. He pulls around a cooler full of organs!"
 * Price Tag: [disappointed and groaning] "Mom!"
 * Monika: "You know how you get. You'll have nightmares. You'll think something's out to get you. You're just like your father."
 * [As she walks away, Simon comes out from behind the sofa with a teddy bear.]
 * Simon "That is a total exaggeration! On a completely different note, that trailer is never to be played in this house again. Yi-ih!" [walks away fidgeting in fear.]
 * Price Tag: "Come on, Mom. I'm not a baby. I can handle it."
 * Monika: "'No' is my final answer."
 * [Price Tag looks on disappointed.]
 * [The Goiky Cinema. Price Tag and Liy are inside.]
 * Liy: "I'm fine not seeing The Hitchhiker. It looks way too scary. And now, we get to see the new Bracelety movie!"
 * [An usher is carrying around some Bracelety hats.]
 * Usher: "Bracelety beanies! Get your free Bracelety beanies!"
 * Liy: "Ooh, free Bracelety hats? I'll take two!"
 * Price Tag: "One is fine."
 * [Liy grabs and puts on a Bracelety hat.]
 * Usher: "Get your free Bracelety beanies!"
 * Price Tag: [Annoyed] "It's not fair. My parents think I can't handle a scary movie."
 * [Risky, Flat, and Ice Cream all walk into the theater playing The Hitchhiker, causing him to become even more annoyed.]
 * Price Tag: "Aw, man! Risky gets to see The Hitchhiker? That guy cried when a bird flew into the gym!" [gets an idea] "Maybe I should just go, and not tell my parents. It's not like they'll find out."
 * Liy: "You know, Bracelety has a song about that, Price Tag. [To a beat] ♫Every time you lie / A leprechaun will cry.♫"
 * [Two little girls join in]
 * Liy and Little Girls: "♫A fib to Mom and Dad / Well that's just twice as bad!♫"
 * Price Tag: "Yeah, that decides it. I'm going to The Hitchhiker."
 * Liy: "Come on, fellow Blarnadoons!"
 * [He and the little girls go to the Bracelety movie while Price Tag goes to The Hitchhiker. The doors shut tight.]
 * 97 MINUTES LATER [Screaming and whipping is heard]
 * [All of the movie attendants except Price Tag come out talking about how much they enjoyed the movie. A horrified Price Tag slinks out of the theater, with a shaken head. He looks away, and when Liy touches his shoulder, he screams and flails his arms drastically, and falls, holding his arm out to protect himself.]
 * Price Tag: "PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY GALLBLADDER!"
 * Liy: "Guess I don't have to ask how the movie was."
 * Price Tag: [Sits up] "I had no idea a man in overalls could be that scary."
 * Liy: "I'd say 'I told you so', but Bracelety has a song about that. ♫When someone is wrong, don't make a note / The truest friends should never ever gloat♫"
 * [The little girls join in again.]
 * Liy and Little Girls: "♫Just cause you're the wiser-♫"
 * Price Tag: "LIY! I get it."
 * [Price Tag has just gotten home still shaken up from the movie.]
 * Liy: "You gonna be alright?"
 * Price Tag: "My parents cannot find out that I went to see The Har... [Struggles in fear] Har...Har...you know, that movie."
 * Liy: [Puts an arm around his shoulder] "Good luck, buddy. If you need me, I'm here 24/7. But not on Channel 2. That's for Blarnadoons only. Later." [goes home]
 * [Price Tag enters the haunted house.]
 * Monika: "Hey, Price Tag, how was the movie?"
 * Price Tag: [frantic; shuts the door behind him] "What? I didn't see the movie!" [realizes and becomes calm] "Oh, you mean the Bracelety movie. Which I did see."
 * Simon "Oh, terrific! Hey, can you go get the ceramic pumpkins? We're putting up the Fall decorations."
 * Price Tag: "Sure, Dad. Where are they?"
 * Simon "In the basement."
 * Price Tag: [struck with panic] "The basement?"
 * Simon: "Yeah, in the far back corner by the light that burned out. You know, where Remote's snake went to die."
 * [Price Tag nervously gulps and opens the door to the basement. He tries to turn the light on, but it doesn't work.]
 * Price Tag: "Seriously?" [goes down the steps and hears a voice.]
 * Voice: "I will get you..."
 * Price Tag: [screams] "Who said that?" [notices he's stepping on a talking doll.]
 * Doll: [in a deep voice] "I will get you..." [in a happy tone after Price Tag takes his foot off] "...another cup of tea."
 * Price Tag: [sighs] "Get a grip, Price Tag. It's just a doll." [gets to the bottom, walks into a giant cobweb, falls into a few things that sets a Hockey stick to come at him, screams and gets out of the way as the doll's head comes off and rolls on the floor.] "THE HITCHHIKER!!!"
 * Simon: [from upstairs] "Price Tag, come back up! I just remembered the pumpkins aren't in the basement." [Price Tag rushes back upstairs] "They're in the attic."
 * Price Tag: [frightened] "The...attic?"
 * Simon: "You know, that far, far back corner where there's no windows or light?"
 * [Price Tag gulps again. As he prepares to climb the ladder and enter the attic, he notices one of his friend.]
 * Price Tag: "Hey, Taco! Wanna go look for decorations in the attic with me?"
 * Taco: "No way. It's creepy up there."
 * Price Tag: "How about you, Lollipop? You might find a bat."
 * Lollipop: "I know we will, but none of them are vampires. So what's the point?"
 * [Price Tag reluctantly goes up to the attic and gets his shirt caught on a loose nail.]
 * Price Tag: "AH! THE HITCHHIKER'S GOT ME!" [panicking, he takes his shirt off and uncontrollably hits a stack of boxes. A bunch of whoopee cushions are knocked over onto him.] "AH! HE'S GOT MY COLONS AND THEY'RE STILL FARTING!" [He flails his arms again and falls to the ground.]
 * Cure Papaya: [off-screen] "TAGGY, STOP MESSING AROUND WITH MY OLD WHOOPEE CUSHIONS! I MEAN, I KNOW THEY'RE A GAS!" [laughs]
 * Monika: [from downstairs] "Price Tag, I just remembered! Those pumpkins aren't in the attic! They're in the garage!"
 * [Price Tag gulps in fear again and sneaks toward the garage.]
 * Mr. Pirie: [Echoing off-screen] "I got hearts, kidneys, and ears!"
 * [A hoe rises up and digs deep into something.]
 * Price Tag: "THE HITCHHIKER!!!" [runs away screaming]
 * [It's actually just Mr. Pirie tending to his garden in the moonlight.]
 * Mr. Pirie: "Hearts of Romaine, kidney beans and ears of corn. You never heard of a guy growing his own vegetables before?"
 * [Price Tag runs back inside.]
 * Price Tag: [panting and trying to calm down] "They're not...in the...garage."
 * Simon: "Oh, that's right. They're under the porch, in that dark claustrophobic crawl space where the walls feel like they're closing in on you the deeper you get." [Price Tag gulps once more.] "I'll just get them tomorrow. Sorry to make you run around, kiddo."
 * Price Tag: "Phew."
 * [Later, everyone is going to bed and turning off the lights. Price Tag is making his way from the bathroom to his room.]
 * Price Tag: [to the viewers] "Well, better get to bed before Mom and Dad think of any more infested places to send me." [gets to his room and turns off the light.] "You know, I think I'm doing better. It's been a full 10 minutes since I've thought about the Har... [Struggles in fear] Har...you know who I mean."
 * [As soon as he's nice and safe in his bed with the door open and the hallway light on, the hallway light turns off. He gasps, runs to the hallway and turns it back on. While he tiptoes back to his room, the light turns off again. On and off. On and off. On and off. Price Tag turns them back on again.]
 * Monika: [downstairs] "Price Tag! Enough! Lights out!" [turns off the light only for Price Tag to immediately turn them back on.] "TAGGY!" [turns it off again]
 * [Price Tag goes into Remote and Taco's room. He taps on Taco's sleeping mask and then stretches it and makes it snap on her eyes, making her growl and open her eyes. He is revealed to be standing on her bed.]
 * Price Tag: "Hey, Taco, wanna watch some of your new videos?"
 * Taco: [delighted] "Ah!" [suspicious] "Okay, weird. Why would you want to do that?"
 * Price Tag: "Because I'm a huge fan of youth-oriented, taco-based competitions."
 * Taco: [Annoyed] "Oh, cut the crud, Price Tag. What is up?"
 * Price Tag: "Okay... [sits on her bed and whispers] I saw a scary movie today and I'm afraid to be alone."
 * Taco: [Annoyed] "Well, just go sleep with Mom and Dad. That's what I always do."
 * Price Tag: "Uh...that's not an option."
 * Taco: [Annoyed] "Well, neither is losing my beauty sleep. Goodnight to you, sir!" [goes back to sleep snoring.]
 * [Price Tag is then seen moving into Remote's bedroom. Her bed is filled with different TVs.]
 * Price Tag: "Hey, Remote-" [the TVs wake up and growl at him.] "Never mind." [leaves and closes the door gently behind him.]
 * [He goes over to Leafy and Patient's room where Leafy is texting in her bed.]
 * Price Tag: "Hey, Leafy."
 * Leafy: [Annoyed and continues looking at her phone.] "Whatever it is, I'm busy."
 * Price Tag: "Too busy to give girl advice?"
 * [Leafy gasps, lets go of her phone and eagerly pulls Price Tag right under her covers.]
 * 36 MINUTES LATER
 * Price Tag: "Okay, question 63: What does 'going dutchman' mean? And does it have anything to do with Dutchman ovens?"
 * Leafy: "Hmm..." [hears her phone beeping and gasps] "Session's over, Price Tag. I have to talk to Taki. He started his new pizza delivery job tonight." [shoves Price Tag out of her covers.]
 * Taki: "Check it, babe. I spelled your name with pepperonis."
 * [The pepperoni says "BABY" which is incorrect, and the pizza slides right out of the box.]
 * Taki: "That's coming out of my paycheck."
 * [Price Tag now has a groggy Soleil shooting hoops with him in his room. Soleil shoots a hoop.]
 * Price Tag: "That's 52-0, you." [notices Soleil is standing asleep] "Dang it."
 * [Now Price Tag is escorting Patient to the kitchen.]
 * Patient: "I don't get it. If it's morning, why is it still dark?" [yawns]
 * Price Tag: "It's, um...Daylight Savings Time."
 * Patient: [yawns] "Well, I love savings."
 * Price Tag: "So, what do you want for breakfast?" [looks in the fridge, but suddenly hears the front door shut. He opens the said door, and sees Patient walking away with her backpack.]
 * Price Tag: "PATTY!"
 * Patient: [Tiredly] "I'm late for school. Bye, Taggy."
 * Price Tag: "Patient, stop!" [immediately notices a cooler and a silhouette dragging him, making him believe it's The Hitchhiker, and go frantic again.] "IT'S HIM! WITH HIS COOLER FULL OF HITCHHIKED ORGANS!" [rushes inside and closes the door]
 * [It's just Mr. Pirie with his fishing gear.]
 * Mr. Pirie: "What's the matter, kid? Never heard of night fishing?" [leaves]
 * [Price Tag retreats back to his room and picks up his walkie-talkie.]
 * Price Tag: "Liy! Come in! I really need somebody to talk to!"
 * [Liy is sleep singing.]
 * Liy: "♫Close your eyes, go to sleep / Bracelety helps you count the sheep♫"
 * Price Tag: "What happened to 24/7? Who else could be awake right now?"
 * [A little while later, there's a knock at the door.]
 * Price Tag: [answers door] "Taki! Congrats on the new gig! What do you say we celebrate by splitting this pie?"
 * Taki: "I wish, bro. I still got six more houses to hit." [gives Price Tag his pizza and drops another on the floor.] "Make that five."
 * [Back in his room, Price Tag's eyes are wide open and bloodshot from lack of sleep and he is revealed to be talking to his pillows that he drew faces on.]
 * Price Tag: [hysterical] "Thanks for staying up with me, guys. Hey, you cool with onions, Todd? No? How are you going to grow into a real man if you won't eat your onions, Todd? It'll put hair on your chest!" [whistles and hears a muffled banging.] "You guys hear that? Any volunteers to go check it out?" [He looks at his pillows and realizes they can't talk.] "Oh, sure. You'll eat my pizza, but when I need something, you sit there like a bunch of stuffed-" [hears the banging again and gasps.]
 * [He sneaks downstairs with the steps creaking, grabs a fireplace brush, and while holding it to protect himself, searches in the kitchen to find someone. He notices the light in the fridge being turned on and a shadow cast of a figure holding a pie and a sharp knife in front of him]
 * ???: "I'm gonna slice you right down the middle." [laughs evilly]
 * [Price Tag gasps and runs away and it turns out to be Simon holding a snack.]
 * Simon: "No. On second thought, maybe I'll just eat the whole thing."
 * [Price Tag, trembling with immense fear, goes up to his room, blocks the door with his chair, and hides under the covers.]
 * Price Tag: "There's no such thing as the Har...Har...Har..." [keeps trembling "Har" all the way to sunrise.] "...Har...Har...Har..." [notices the sun is up and sighs with relief.] "Well, that was the worst night ever. But at least it's over."
 * [In the kitchen, Simon is working on the ceramic pumpkins and Monika is checking the fridge.]
 * Monika: "Honey, have you seen the cake I baked for the school fundraiser?"
 * Simon: [spits out coffee] "No, I didn't see your carrot cake."
 * Monika: [suspicious] "How did you know it was carrot?"
 * Simon: "I...uh..." [sees his son walking across and giving himself a glass of milk.] "Price Tag! There you are."
 * Monika: "Sweetie, your father and I have been talking and we think you're right. You're not a baby anymore, and it's time we stopped treating you like one."
 * Simon: "Hey, look. If you say you're ready to see that horror movie, we believe ya."
 * Monika: "In fact, we bought three tickets. We're going with you!"
 * [Her husband spits out his coffee again and Price Tag looks on in shock as he pours the milk all over the floor and drops his glass - which shatters on the floor - upon hearing the news.]
 * [The Goiky Cinema]
 * Monika: [looking at the posters for The Hitchhiker.] "Ooh, look at these scary posters. This is gonna be so much fun."
 * Simon: [hiding his fear] "Yeah. So much fun. I can't wait."
 * [Price Tag sees the posters and runs in fear from them and bumps into a cardboard promo prop. It knocks over and falls onto him causing him to scream, but he runs out of the way as the usher - wearing a Bracelety Hat and a red suit - puts it back up. Price Tag screams while he rushes in front of his parents, and stops them.]
 * Price Tag: [Afraid] "The Har...Har...Har..."
 * Monika: "Price Tag, what's the matter?"
 * Price Tag: "I can't do it! Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. I saw the movie yesterday, even though you told me not to. And you were right. I'm not ready. I was so terrified I didn't sleep all night. Please don't make me watch it again."
 * Monika: "Well, I'm not happy you saw the movie without our permission. But it sounds like you've been punished enough."
 * Price Tag: "I won't do it again, Mom. Now, can we please go see Bracelety instead?"
 * Simon: "Sure, son. But, honey, we'll have to come back because you know how much I love scary movies."
 * [Something rips and it causes Simon to jump into his wife's arms.]
 * Simon: "AAAHH! THE HITCHHIKER! DON'T TAKE MY PANCREAS!"
 * [It was just Mr. Pirie opening up one of his snacks.]
 * Mr. Pirie: "What's the matter, kid? Have you ever seen a guy open a bag of chips?" [eats some chips and goes into the theater playing The Hitchhiker.]
 * [The kids go into the theater playing Bracelety's movie.]
 * Kids and Bracelety: "♫Every time you lie / A leprechaun will cry / A fib to Mom and Dad / Well that's just twice as bad!♫"