The Virtues Would NOT Look!/Transcript


 * Patient and Humility: [still screaming, but stop and pant]
 * Patient: Ahem. We'll show Charity. We're not afraid of any old movie. [he and Humility go in the aisle in the movie room. The door closes and it becomes pitch dark in there]
 * Patient & Humility: Whoa!
 * Humility: We're lost.
 * Patient: I wish we had a flashlight. [a flashlight coming from a Cinema Virtue shines on them]
 * Cinema Virtue: Take your seats!
 * Patient and Humility: [scream and sit down]
 * Patient: Seats taken, sir. Ooh, the movie's starting! [he and Humility start eating their popcorn. The screen says, "The following preview has been approved for all audiences - S: Rated S for Scary." Then it says, "Prissy Ghost 4: Attack of the Sheet." Lightning flashes in the movie]
 * Patient and Humility: [scream]
 * Humanity: Shhh!
 * Patient: Sorry. [In the movie, children are in a playground where Ami and Yumi are playing in a teeter totter] So isn't too scary. [The scene pans up to the prissy ghost's sheet] The Prissy Ghost's sheet! Get off the teeter totter!
 * Humility: You fools! [the sheet goes into Ami's mouth and pulls him up. He screams]
 * Patient and Humility: [both scream]
 * Patient: The Prissy Ghost's got him!
 * Humility: And he'll fry them into fish sticks! I can't watch! Is the scary part over?
 * Patient: Hold on, I'll take a peek.
 * John: Thank you for meeting me, John, at midnight.
 * Patient: Humility, it's okay.
 * Humility: You sure? [screams] It's worse! [fishes kiss] They're kissing!
 * John: I love you, Susie.
 * Milly: It's Milly.
 * John: I'll never leave you, Milly. [the Prissy Ghost's sheet drops down on-screen and grabs the male fish by his pants and pulls him up] Goodbye, Margaret!
 * Patient and Humility: The Prissy Ghost! [throw their buckets of popcorn in the air. They fall on the three people behind them]
 * People:  [scream, then grumble]
 * Patient: Uh, sorry, sorry, sorry! [he and Humility get their buckets back]
 * Patient and Humility: [scream and hide in the hole in their seats]
 * Narrator: Two hours later...
 * Humility: See if it's safe. [Patient puts his head out of his seat. The screen says, "The End"]
 * Patient: Aww, the movie's over. [Humility does the same. Everyone gets out of their seats]
 * Humility: Oh, dang. We hardly even saw it.
 * Patient: Well, we'll watch it again. And this time, all the way through. [scene cuts to him and Humility watching the movie again. There are two kid fish eating ice cream in the movie] Okay. Keep your eyes open.
 * Humility: No problem.
 * Diligence: I love eating ice cream.
 * Patient: Humility, I'm getting scared. Hold my eyelids open.
 * Humility: I'm on it. [goes to the row behind them and pulls Patient's eyelids]
 * Patient: D'ohhhh! [the Prissy Ghost's sheet is lowered and takes the fish's ice cream]
 * Diligence: Hey! My ice cream! [falls to the ground and cries] No! It was rocky road!
 * Patient: Must close eyes! Too scary!
 * Humility: I can't hold your eyelids—they're too slippery! [Patient's eyelids close and his hands get stuck in them] Ow! [screams]
 * Patient:  [screams as a fish walks by sweeping but stops when he hears Patient and Humility screaming. He continues sweeping and starts whistling. Patient and Humility are hugging each other. Humility has his bucket on his head. Patient looks at the screen. It says, "The end" again] Oh, no, we missed the movie.
 * Humility: What?! Not again!
 * Patient: It's okay, we'll just see the next one.
 * Cinema Virtue: I'm afraid not. That was the last showing.
 * Patient: Wow. Uh, what time is it?
 * Cinema Virtue: It is one minute to midnight.
 * Patient: One... minute... to midnight?! [he and Humility get out of their seats]
 * Humility: But that's when the Prissy Ghost comes out! [he and Patient run out of the room]
 * Patient: Come on, Humility, we've got to get home!
 * Patient & Humility:  [scream] The Prissy Ghost! [they have ran into a cardboard cutout of the Prissy Ghost with the title of the movie beside it. They run out of the Reef Cinemas screaming]  [the clock tolls, meaning that it's midnight. A little cardboard cutout of the Prissy Ghost comes out of the clock and lowers his cardboard sheet and catches a cardboard fish. It goes back in the clock]  It's midnight! The Prissy Ghost! ''[run to Patient's door]
 * Patient: Phew. We made it.
 * Humility: I guess we showed that old horror movie who's boss.
 * Patient: Yeah. We looked fear right in the face and... avoided direct eye contact.
 * Humility: It's like we're heroes.
 * Patient: Okay, buddy. Sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow.
 * Humility: Wait a second. Y-You mean, I gotta walk all the way home alone?
 * Patient: No. No, you don't. I'm gonna walk you to your door. [starts walking Humility to his door]
 * Humility: Darn old horror movie. Why couldn't we watch a cartoon instead? [foghorn blows] Do you hear that?
 * Patient: [whispering] I think it's coming from over there. [points to fog. A shadow comes behind it]
 * Patient & Humility: It's the Prissy Ghost! [scream and hide behind Humility's house; Temper passes by on a small bike with training wheels]
 * Patient: Oh, it's just Temper. Okay, I guess I'll just go home now. It's right over there. [tries to move but doesn't] Just a few steps that away. [tries again but fails] In the dark? All alone?
 * Humility: Oh, okay-kay, come on now, don't be all scared. I'll walk you home. [starts walking Patient home]
 * Patient: Aw, thanks, old pal. But then, who's gonna walk you home?
 * Humility: Let's just cross that bridge when we burn it. [a shadow comes over them. Behind the fog there is a shadow of the Prissy Ghost] 
 * Patient and Humility: The Prissy Ghost! [scream but then notice that the shadow is actually of jellyfish who had formed a shadow of the Prissy Ghost. Patient and Humility continue screaming. Charity wakes up and growls. He gets out of bed. Patient and Humility run around screaming but stop and pant]
 * Charity: What is wrong with you?! [Patient and Humility scream and jump to Charity's windows. They shiver]
 * Patient: Oh, hey, Charity.
 * Charity: What are you blockheads up to? Don't you know it's after midnight? Get down here!
 * Humility: We can't get home.
 * Patient: We're too scared. [Charity growls. Scene changes to Charity walking to Humility's house with Patient on his head wearing his nightcap and Humility holding onto him]
 * Patient: [sighs] Thank you, Charity. You are a true friend. [Charity opens Humility's house with his left foot and throws Humility in]
 * Humility: Thanks, Charit... [Charity closes his house and grumbles. He walks over to Patient's house]
 * Patient: Yeah, thanks, Charity. I don't think we would've ever gotten home with you.
 * Charity: Hat.
 * Patient: Oh, yeah. Here. [gives Charity's nightcap back. Charity pulls Patient's legs, which shoots him through his mail slot and into his bed]
 * Charity: I told those muttonheads not to see that movie. [walks into his house]
 * Patient: Humility! Are you okay?
 * Humility: Yeah! Are you okay?
 * Patient: I think so! Good night!
 * Humility: Yeah., good night! Just don't think about the Prissy Ghost!
 * Patient: Oh, no, I will not think about the Prissy Ghost! Sleep tight!
 * Charity: Oh, "The Prissy Ghost." "The Prissy Ghost." Blah, blah, blah. They want a Prissy Ghost, eh? I'll give them a Prissy Ghost! And how! [goes to his closet and turns on the light. He pulls out a vampire costume] No. [pulls out a Frankenstein costume] No. [pulls out an Easter Bunny costume] Um... no. [pulls out a prissy ghost's sheet] Aha! [lightning strikes. Charity is outside and has the sheet on] It's time for those lame-brains to meet the real Prissy Ghost. [puts on the sheet mask. Lightning strikes again as Charity lowers the sheet from the costume] This is gonna be good. [laughs. Lightning strikes again. Charity is in a boat on the roof of his house his sheet at Humility's house, scrapes it, and opens it a little four times. Humility wakes up and opens his house with his head]
 * Humility: Uh, hello? Someone there? [the sheet sheets under his left nostril] Uh, uh? What's that? [stammers] There's something stuck... [grunts] Huh. [the sheet starts pulling it] Oh, wait a second. Oh, yeah. That's the spot. A little to the left. [drools] Oh, yeah. All right. Right there. [laughs. Charity laughs and pulls the sheet]
 * Charity: Gotcha! [the sheet pulls Humility out of his house]
 * Humility: [screams as he sees Charity] The Prissy Ghost! [screams and runs]
 * Charity: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. [the rod goes after Humility and starts to pull Charity and the boat with it; Charity screams; the boat rides up Humility's open house and soars in the air. Humility screams twice while Charity starts laughing. He runs to Patient's house, pulls his door open, goes inside, and closes the door causing Charity to smash into the door. Humility sees Charity outside, laughing. Humility runs, with his face ripped off from the sheet, he runs up to Patient's bedroom] Patient! Get up! He's here!
 * Patient: Who's here? Hold on, let me get up. [scream] Your face!
 * Humility: Oh. [takes his head and stretches it, making his face whole again] There.
 * Patient: Now who's here?
 * Humility: Uh, someone's here?
 * Patient: You just said.
 * Humility: Oh. The Prissy Ghost's here.
 * Patient: The Prissy Ghost!
 * Humility: The Prissy Ghost!
 * Patient & Humility: [scream and run in circles on Patient's bed]
 * Charity: Ha Ha Ha Ha. This is the most perfect. What a couple of hopeless babies. I really should stop. But I'm having too much fun. (goes in Patient's house) Ha. It's almost too easy.
 * Patient: Quick. Block the door.
 * Charity: There's just no sport in it.
 * Patient: [Patient & Humility push stuff over to Patient bedroom door] Get everything?
 * Humility: What about this? (Humility holds Kind)
 * Patient: Not Kind. Think it'll hold?
 * Humility: I sure hope so. (Patient and Humility look into window and sees Charity, laughing)
 * Patient & Humility: (scream as Charity opens the window and then scream again)
 * Humility: Maybe if we don't look at him he'll go away.
 * Patient: Oh yeah. Just like the movie. (they close their eyes, later open them to see Charity behind them)
 * Charity: I'm the Deadly Prissy Ghost!
 * Patient & Humility:  (scream)
 * Patient: I guess this is the end, old buddy.
 * Humility: I don't want to die in my underwear!
 * Patient: Here. (Patient takes off his underwear) Die in mine.
 * Humility: Hey. Good idea. Let's trade. (Humility takes off his underwear) Here you go.
 * Patient: And here you go. (Patient and Humility trade underwears and puts on their underwears) Now where were we? Oh, yeah.
 * Patient & Humility: [screams] He's gonna turn us into fish sticks!
 * Charity: [laughing]
 * Patient & Humility:  (scream)
 * Patient: That thing's eating Charity!
 * Humility: Not our bestest buddy! We gotta save him! Okay, play 33. I need you to go long. And... break. You're going down, Prissy Ghost! [starts beating up Charity's Prissy Ghost costume while Patient grabs Charity's neck]
 * Patient: Don't worry, Charity. We'll get you out of that old monster. Let's get to the window. [He and Sauidward jump out of the window and Humility throws heavy objects onto Charity] Okay! I think you got it! [Sirens sound] [Charity grumbles as he is taken into an ambulance] Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, there, there, no need to thank us. We were only doing what friends to for the bestest buddy. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about that old monster anymore. [The Prissy Ghost costume growls at them]
 * Charity: Huh?
 * Patient & Humility: [scream and run into ambulance. The Prissy Ghost costume falls down, revealing Kind]
 * Kind: Ahhh~. [starts sleeping on the costume]