Sleepless in Bikini Bottom

 is a derivative of Sleepless in Virtue-Land.

Characters:

 * Mr. Krabs
 * Pearl Krabs
 * Patrick Star
 * Squidina Star
 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Gary the Snail
 * Olden Sponge
 * Sandy Cheeks

Transcript:

 * [bits clinking]
 * Pearl: [wings buzzing]
 * [ponies yelping]
 * Pearl: Whoo-hoo!
 * Mr. Krabs: [sips] Nice moves, kid.
 * Pearl: Nice moves? Mr. Krabs thinks I've got–
 * [thud]
 * Pearl: [gasps] ...nice moves!
 * Bessie: [moos]


 * Pearl: ...Then, all of a sudden, I'm airborne! And Mr. Krabs looks over and was like, &quot;Nice moves, kid.&quot;
 * Gary: Woooow.
 * Squidina: She really said that?
 * Pearl: I mean, it's like she practically told me she wanted to take me under her wing, teach me everything she knows, and become like my big sister!
 * Gary: I dunno about all that.
 * Squidina: It was a really nice compliment and all, but...
 * Pearl: I know, I know. But all that stuff I said could happen, right?
 * Gary: Sure.
 * Squidina: Absolutely.
 * Pearl: I just need to find a way to spend some time with her, y'know, so she can see more of my awesomeness.
 * Gary: Well... SpongeBob and I are supposed to be campin' up at Winsome Falls this weekend. Maybe I could get my big sis to invite Mr. Krabs, and then you could come, too!
 * Pearl: Really?!
 * Gary: Sure!
 * Squidina: I wanna go...
 * Gary: Well, duh, of course you can go!
 * Squidina: And I'll get Patrick to come too! Patrick loves camping!


 * Patrick: I despise camping! All of that... [shudders] ...nature.
 * Squidina: SpongeBob's going with her little sister. But, y'know, if you don't wanna spend time with me... [squee]
 * Patrick: Oh, all right! Ooh! Of course I will need to find an outfit more appropriate for 'roughing it'. Ooh!
 * Squidina: See? Told you she'd wanna go.


 * [water running]
 * SpongeBob: You packed bug spray?
 * Gary: Yup. You got the canteens?
 * SpongeBob: Yup. Looks like we're all set then.
 * [cart trundling]
 * Patrick: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, did you remember to pack?
 * Patrick: Oh, well, let's see who gets the last laugh when you're absolutely desperate to curl your lashes, and you realize you didn't bring your eyelash curler.
 * SpongeBob: Well, looks like we're all set now.
 * Pearl: But what about Mr. Krabs? Isn't Mr. Krabs coming?
 * SpongeBob: 'Course she is, sugarcube. She's gonna meet us up at our first campsite.
 * Pearl: Oh.
 * SpongeBob: Alright, y'all, let's move 'em out!


 * Patrick: Oh, are we there yet?
 * SpongeBob: The last thousand times you asked that, the answer was no. This time, it's actually yes. There's Mr. Krabs up there right now.
 * [crunch]
 * [thump]
 * [splash]
 * Pearl: [quietly] Alright, Pearl, just play it cool. [normal] Hey Rai–
 * [wobbling noise]
 * [thud]
 * Pearl: [clears throat] Hey, Mr. Krabs! What's up?
 * Mr. Krabs: What took you guys so long?
 * SpongeBob: Well, some of us didn't pack as light as the others. So we were slowed down a bit.


 * [hammering]
 * Mr. Krabs: Looks like you'll be sharing a tent with me, huh?
 * Pearl: Heh, if that's okay with you.
 * Mr. Krabs: Sure! Long as you don't snore. You don't snore, do you?
 * Pearl: Nope. No way. Not me. Never snored a day or [laughs nervously] night in my life.
 * Mr. Krabs: Then you and I are gonna get along just fine.
 * [pop]
 * [wind blowing]
 * Mr. Krabs: You have got to be kidding me.
 * Patrick: Squidina, do be a dear and see if you can find some fresh flowers for my bedside vase.
 * Mr. Krabs: [mimicking Patrick Star] Pearl, do be a sweetheart and see if you can gather some firewood.
 * Gary and Pearl: [laughing]
 * Mr. Krabs: Seriously though. Can you get us some wood for the fire?
 * Pearl: Of course!


 * [fire lighting]
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay, everybody get comfortable, 'cause I'm about to tell you the best story you've ever heard.
 * Pearl: Is it about the time when Patrick had wings, and then they got ruined, and then you saved her from plummeting to her doom?
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay, maybe it's the second best story you've ever heard. But probably still the scariest. [spookily] You like scary stories, right?
 * Pearl: [gasps] Mm-hmm.
 * Mr. Krabs: It all happened on a night just like this one, in a forest, just like this...


 * Mr. Krabs: ...And then, The Olden Sponge asked, [mimicking aged voice] &quot;Who's got my rusty shoes?&quot;
 * Squidina: Not me!
 * [suspenseful pause]
 * Mr. Krabs: You do!
 * Gary and Squidina: [screaming]
 * Mr. Krabs: [laughing]
 * Pearl: [clears throat] Something in my throat. I wasn't scared at all, heheh. Good story.
 * Mr. Krabs: Knew you wouldn't be scared. The way you jumped that cart the other day, you're like me – fearless.
 * Pearl: [nervously] Yeah. Fearless. [teeth chattering]
 * [owl hoots]
 * Patrick: [coddling] Don't worry. Patrick is here to keep you safe and sound. Ooh!
 * SpongeBob: [yawns] Think it's about time for me to hit the straw.
 * Gary: [trembling]
 * SpongeBob: Don't you worry, little sis. There's no 'Olden Sponge' in our tent.
 * Pearl: [nervously] Haa, that sure was funny, wasn't it? Heheh. How they were all afraid of The Olden Sponge? Heh, but not me, heh!
 * Mr. Krabs: That's because you're tough, just like when I was your age!
 * [splash]
 * Pearl: [yelps]
 * Mr. Krabs: I'm hitting the sack. Come in whenever you feel like it.
 * [twig snaps]
 * [leaves rustling]
 * Pearl: [nervously] It's, it's nothing... Just my imagination...
 * [branches creaking]
 * Pearl: [nervously] And that isn't the thundering stomp of The Olden Sponge...
 * [wolf howling]
 * [zip]
 * Mr. Krabs: [snoring loudly]
 * [distant muttering]
 * Pearl: I-Is anyone out there?
 * [foot stamps]
 * [branches creaking]
 * The Olden Sponge: [mumbling]
 * Pearl: [gasp] [panting]
 * The Olden Sponge: Who got my rusty shoes?
 * Pearl: [gasp] [panting] [neighs]
 * [roar]
 * [snap]
 * Pearl: [sighs]
 * The Olden Sponge: Who's got my rusty shoes?
 * Pearl: [cries] [dash] [panting] Mr. Krabs–?
 * The Olden Sponge: You do!
 * Pearl: [yelps]
 * Mr. Krabs: [snores]
 * Pearl: [nervous humming]


 * Pearl: [nervous humming]
 * Mr. Krabs: [yawns] What's that noise? Is there a bug in here? [sighs] I dunno about you, but I slept like a filly.
 * Pearl: [nervously] Best night ever.
 * Mr. Krabs: Glad you're rested up, because we've got a long trek ahead. Totally gonna be worth it when we get to Winsome Falls.
 * [eerie noises]
 * Pearl: Yeah... Totally... [twitches]


 * Patrick: Ohh... Am I sweating? Oh! I think I'm sweating! Oh, uh, but it's absolutely worth it to get to spend time with my little sister. It's just that this cart feels like it's getting heavier all the time!
 * SpongeBob: I don't care if that's cart's as heavy as a pack of mules. If we don't get a move on, it'll be dark before we get to the campsite!
 * Pearl: [gasps] Dark?! [wings buzzing] I'll just ride ahead and make sure the path is clear. We don't wanna be out here after dark, right?
 * Mr. Krabs: Doesn't matter to me.
 * Pearl: Well, y'know, [hushed] it's for the scaredy-ponies, heheh.


 * Pearl: [yawns]
 * [thump]
 * Pearl: [gasps] Don't fall asleep now... We've got to get to that campsite before dark... [snores, continues over]
 * [bonk]
 * Crocodile: [growls]
 * Bear: [licks lips] [chomps] [grunts]
 * Patrick: [fades in] That's why it's always important to bring your own trunk on any public outing.
 * Pearl: [gasps] Um... don't come this way! Take the path! It's, heh, way better than going through the bushes.


 * [twig snaps]
 * Pearl: [yelps]
 * [poof]
 * [crunch]
 * SpongeBob: You're more nervous than a worm in an apple on cider making day. What gives, Pearl?
 * Pearl: Heh, nothing, just thought I heard something, aheh.
 * [owl hoots]
 * Pearl: [yelps]
 * SpongeBob: You sure you're okay? You seem a little jumpy.
 * Pearl: Just getting my exercise! You know how important it is to stretch out those hindquarters every so often, aheh.
 * [frog croaking]
 * [bells ringing]
 * Pearl: Uh, d-do you need a little help?
 * Patrick: That's so sweet, thank you.
 * Pearl: Um... what are friends for? [sounds of exertion]


 * [cart creaking]
 * SpongeBob: No need for tents tonight, y'all. We'll just take shelter in that cave.
 * Mr. Krabs: All right! A deep, dark cave! Perfect for the story I've got for tonight. All we need is a campfire, and we're good to go.
 * Pearl: [gulps] [nervously] Uh, of course...
 * [wolf howling]
 * Pearl: [nervously] I'll be right back with lots of firewood from the deep... dark... not-scary-at-all forest!
 * Mr. Krabs: Thanks.
 * [creatures growling]
 * Pearl: [breathing heavily] [sighs] Okay. I can do this. On the count of three, I get those branches. One... two... three! [trembling] [sighs] [nervously] Here, branches branches branches...
 * SpongeBob: Bbbbrrr! Hoo-wee! It's colder than a timberwolf's toenail. Bbbrr! Where's that Pearl?
 * Pearl: [panicked laughing] Here you go!
 * Mr. Krabs: That's it?
 * Pearl: It's all I could find, 'cause, y'know, there aren't that many trees around here!
 * SpongeBob: It's all we need. Why don't you sit with Mr. Krabs for a while?
 * [fire starts]
 * Mr. Krabs: Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the [spookily] scary part. [laughs evilly]
 * Pearl: Hey, I have an idea! How about I tell tonight's story?
 * Mr. Krabs: Alright, just make sure it's a horrible one.
 * Pearl: There once was a really really nice virtue who lived in a bright and sunny land, where there are rainbows every day, and lots and lots of happy friends, and–
 * Mr. Krabs: No offense, but it's not a real campfire story unless someone's shaking. [spookily] I've been told that these very woods are haunted...
 * Pearl: [gulps]
 * Mr. Krabs: [spookily] ...by The Flying Dutchman! It gallops only at night–
 * SpongeBob: If it doesn't have a head, then how in tarnation does this virtue know where it's goin'?
 * Mr. Krabs: It's headless, not brainless. [spookily] ...looking for little lost ponies–
 * SpongeBob: So where's its brain?
 * Mr. Krabs: Ugh. [spookily] Fear was dripping from the air...[crossfades out]


 * Mr. Krabs: [spookily] [crossfades in] ...and they were never heard from ever again!
 * Squidina: [gasps] Never?
 * Mr. Krabs: Never.
 * [fire sparks]
 * Gary and Squidina: [screaming] [laughing]
 * Pearl: [trembling]
 * Patrick: Don't worry, you'll be safe with me tonight.
 * Pearl: It's not time for bed yet, is it?
 * SpongeBob: 'Fraid so, Pearl.
 * Pearl: Uh, but we haven't even sung any campfire songs yet! [squeak]
 * Squidina: You don't have to ask me twice!
 * [thud]
 * Squidina: [out of rhythm and out of tune] Ninety-nine buckets of oats on the wall, ninety-nine buckets of oats! Take one down, [crossfades] pass it around, you got eighty-one buckets of oats on the wall, [crossfades] forty-one buckets of oats! Take one down, pass it around you got forty [pauses] buckets of oats on the wall! [crossfades] ...buckets of oats! Take one down, pass it around, you've got zero buckets of oats on the waaaaaaaalllllll!!!! [snores]
 * Other ponies: [yawning]
 * Patrick: Good night, Squidina.
 * SpongeBob: Good night, y'all.
 * Gary: Good night, y'all.
 * Mr. Krabs: Sleep tight.
 * Pearl: Oh, just one more song! Anyone? [whoosh] How about a dance contest? I know you love to cut a rug, so how 'bout we mess up a cave floor? I have a brilliant idea! Hide and seek! Who's with me?
 * Gary: [yawns] Maybe tomorrow.
 * Pearl: Aww.
 * SpongeBob: Seems like you don't really wanna go to sleep tonight. Is there some reason why?
 * Pearl: Pfft, of course not! I just love camping and hanging out with Mr. Krabs so much that I don't wanna waste a single minute with sleep! [yawns] Heh, silly sleep.
 * Mr. Krabs: That's cool and all, Scoot, but this virtue needs her shut-eye and she needs it now!
 * Pearl: Ugh, this is so unfair... [yawns] I'm falling asleep... [snores]
 * [water dripping]


 * [footsteps]
 * [footsteps increase speed]
 * [vehicle accelerating]
 * Pearl: [gasps] If The Flying Dutchman catches me, I'm never gonna be heard from again! And I wanna be heard from! Woah, woaaah! Ugh! [grunts] Woah!
 * [running footsteps]
 * Pearl: It's all over! [cries hysterically]


 * Pearl: [panting] Aaah!
 * Sandy: [echoing] A warm welcome to you, Pearl.
 * [poof]
 * Pearl: Sandy! I thought you were The Flying Dutchman!
 * Sandy: You were mistaken, but I hope not disappointed.
 * Pearl: You are so, so much better than The Flying Dutchman. But what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Canterlot?
 * Sandy: I am the virtue of the night. Thus it is my duty to come into your dreams.
 * Pearl: Oh, yeah... Wait, is this just a dream? But it feels so real!
 * [reverberating drumbeat]
 * Sandy: I assure you that you are asleep. But when you awake, the thing that frightens you most will still exist.
 * Pearl: [nervously] Eh... The Flying Dutchman?
 * Sandy: Hmmm... Is The Flying Dutchman really what frightens you the most?
 * Pearl: Mm-mm. I'm afraid Mr. Krabs will find out I'm not as tough as she thinks I am.
 * Sandy: Everyone has fears, Pearl. Everyone must face them in their own way. But they must be faced, or the nightmares will continue.
 * Pearl: [nervous whine]
 * [rocks tumbling]
 * Sandy: Face your fears!


 * Pearl: –Sandy?! [sighs] It was just a dream.
 * [water dripping]
 * Pearl: [gasps] But The Flying Dutchman isn't! Mr. Krabs said it lives here, in these very woods!
 * [distant whinnying]
 * Pearl: It's the wicked whinny of The Flying Dutchman! [wings motoring]
 * Mr. Krabs: [whinny-like snoring]


 * Pearl: [panting] So it's a horse without a head... which means it doesn't have a mouth... and if it doesn't have a mouth, then... it's not a horse-eat-virtue kind of horse... but still... it's a horse without a head!
 * [tires screeching]
 * Pearl: Whoa, whoa! [whining]
 * [river rushing]
 * [splash]
 * Pearl: Hello?! Is anyone out there? [nervously] Anyone except The Flying Dutchman?
 * [branch cracking]
 * Pearl: Heellllp–
 * [splash]
 * Pearl: [gasps for breath]
 * [splashing]
 * Pearl: [screams, fades out]
 * [whoosh]
 * Mr. Krabs: I gotcha!
 * Pearl: Mr. Krabs! Is that you? Thank you, thank you!
 * Mr. Krabs: What were you doing out here in the middle of the night?!
 * Sandy: [echoing] It is time for you to face your real fear, Pearl!
 * Pearl: [sighs] I'm so, so sorry, Mr. Krabs! I just wanted you to hang out with me and see how cool I was so you'd take me under your wing, teach me everything you know, and become like my big sister! [takes breath] But then you started telling those spooky stories and I got scared! I thought I heard The Flying Dutchman so I ran out here by myself, and... [crying] ...well, I guess you know the rest. [sniffling]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey, I'm gonna tell you something, but if you ever tell anyone else, I'm gonna deny it. First time I heard those stories... I was scared too.
 * Pearl: [sniffles] You were?
 * Mr. Krabs: Sure! I mean, I got over it because I realized pretty quick that if there was such thing as a Flying Dutchman, I could totally take it on. So, you're looking for someone to take you under their wing, huh?
 * Pearl: Mm-hmm.
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I might be up for something like that.
 * Pearl: Really?
 * Mr. Krabs: As long as you don't go falling into any more rivers in the middle of the night.
 * Pearl: [giggles] It's a deal!


 * [waterfalls rushing]
 * Squidina: I call sister teams! Last herd to make it to the falls is a moldy carrot!
 * Patrick: Ugh, if you insist. [giggles] It is so on!
 * Mr. Krabs: They think they can beat the two of us?
 * Pearl: [wings fluttering]


 * The Olden Sponge: [grumbling] Who's got my rusty shoes?
 * Mr. Krabs: Here it is, for virtue's sake. Now take it and stop all your moaning.
 * The Olden Sponge: Thank you, and have a nice day.
 * Sandy: [chuckles]

Trivia:

 * Sandy disguised as a Flying Dutchman to scare Pearl.