Left in the Dark (BFB Style)


 * [The episode begins with an AGH! advertisement]
 * Jennah Koehler: "Do you believe in ghosts? Join me, Jennah Koehler, spectre hunter, leader of the Academy of Ghost Hunters, or AGH! As I descend into the scariest place in any home, the basement! Sunday night at 8 PM! Don't miss it, or you'll be left in the dark! AGH!"
 * [The AGH! logo dissolves into a calendar in Loser's room. He's got the current date highlighted with all past days crossed out before marking the current day.]
 * Loser: "It's finally here! The live season finale of the greatest show ever!" [He realizes he's being watched. To the viewers] "All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself, "Loser, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show." And, you'd be right. Every Sunday at 8, it's the same thing." [Cut to flashback of his sisters fighting over the remote; End flashback.]"But tonight, I have a plan." [Breaks out his walkie talkie] "Cadet Loser calling Cadet Cake, do you read me?"
 * Cake: "This is Cadet Cake, I read you loud and clear! I'm so excited! We finally get to watch AGH! together. And by together, I mean you at your house, and me at mine, right?"
 * Loser: [to the viewers] "For such a landmark event, we decided that it'd be best for us if we watched it separately. Cake's got a huge crush on my sister Basketball. It gets awkward."
 * Cake: [Looking dreamily at drawing of Basketball.] "Hubba hubba."
 * Loser: "Cake? Cake? Do you read me?"
 * Cake: "Uh, you better hurry, Loser. It's almost 8:00!"
 * Loser: "It's time to put Operation Distract My Sisters So That I Can Get to the TV First and Watch the Special Live Season Finale of AGH! and Think of Shorter Name For This Operation into action."
 * [Loser is alerted by the sound of the twins marching out of their room.]
 * Lollipop and Lightning: [chanting] "Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!"
 * Loser: "Did someone say tea party?" [reveals a teapot and a box of cookies.]
 * Lollipop: "Eeeee! Thank you, Loser!" [takes the items and goes back to her room. Lightning stands, glares at Loser, displeased]
 * Lightning: [annoyed] "Hey, I don't want to be part of some dumb old tea party, I want to watch TV!"
 * Loser: "Not even if these guys are invited?" [holds out two frogs; one croaks.]
 * Lightning: "Eeeee! Thanks, Loser!" [takes the frogs and goes back to her room.]
 * Loser: "Hey, Blocky!"
 * Blocky: "I was just heading downstairs to watch TV."
 * Loser: "You might want to grab your video camera instead. The twins are at it again."
 * [Lollipop and Lightning are fighting.]
 * Lollipop: "You can't! You can't! V.I.P. only!"
 * Blocky: "This is totally gonna go viral!" [goes back to her room to get her video camera] "Thanks, Loser!"
 * Lollipop: "Ow. Ow!"
 * [Teardrop and Liy come out of their room.]
 * Loser: "Hey, Teardrop. I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed."
 * Teardrop: "The lactose, Triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose, and gallus gallus ovum?"
 * Loser: "Uh, you mean milk, flour, salt, sugar, and eggs?" [holds out ingredients]
 * Teardrop: "You say tomato, I say Solanum Lycopersicum. Thank you." [takes the ingredients and goes back into her room.]
 * Nickel: "Yeah! Two minutes of game time! Whoo!"
 * Loser: "Hey, Nickel, check it out." [holds out a football that starts floating] "I filled it with helium for the extreme player who demands more."
 * Nickel: "I demand more!"
 * [Yellow Face is approaching.]
 * Loser: "Uh, go long!"
 * [Whistle blows, Nickel struggles to get the ball.]
 * Nickel: "Get over here, you!"
 * Loser: "Oh my gosh, Yellow Face!"
 * Yellow Face: "What? Is there a spider on me?!" [frantically rubs her head] "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"
 * Loser: "Worse. There's a zit on the end of your nose!"
 * Yellow Face: "I'm a hideous monster!" [runs away]
 * Bottle: "Hey, bro! TV tonight is gonna be rockin'!" [Strums her guitar] "Yeah!"
 * Loser: "Or, you can have your very own flashlight rock show in your bedroom." [holds out a colorful flashlight and Bottle takes it]
 * Bottle: "That is sweet! Thanks, Loser!" [Goes back into her room]
 * Basketball: "Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show!"
 * Loser: [Takes out the phone and presses buttons on it.] "Hey, Basketball! Hey, Basketball, I found your phone!"
 * Basketball: "Give me that!" [snatches her phone] "How many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off my stuff!" [Loser counts down from 3 and phone rings.]"Hello? Oh, hi Bobby." [Laughs] "No, I didn't text you to call me, but I'm glad you did!" [to Loser] "Thanks for nothing, twerp!"
 * [Sees Liy sleeping, lays her in the laundry basket and kisses her.]
 * Loser: "And that makes 10." [slides down the stairs and jumps to the floor; to the viewers.] "Like I said, I might not be the fastest, and I might not be the strongest, but to get all of my sisters out of the way, it pays to have a plan."
 * Gaty: "You forgot me."
 * Loser: "Ahh!" [As an organ pipe plays, he falls to the ground after getting startled by his sister.] "Gaty! I always forget about Gaty!"
 * Gaty: "Story of my life."
 * Loser: "What are you doing here?"
 * Gaty: "It's the season premiere of my favorite show, Vampires of Melancholia."
 * Loser: "This is the episode of AGH that everyone is going to be talking about at school tomorrow! Please let me watch it? Pretty please with a black cherry on top?"
 * Gaty: "I'm sorry, Loser, but you know the rule. I was here [in slow motion] first."
 * Loser: "NOOOOOO!" [Looks at the remote and licks it] "Ha!"
 * Gaty: [holds up another remote] "That's the old remote that Liy threw into the toilet."
 * [Loser gags, rubs his tongue and spits out the germs. He then sobs.]
 * Gaty: "Sorry, Loser, I can't miss my vampires. Edwin is so cold and tormented and mysterious. Sigh. If only he wasn't from another century."
 * Loser: "Another century! That's okay, Gaty. You watch your show on the big color TV. I'll just go watch my show on Dad's crummy, old, black-and-white TV."
 * Gaty: "Black and white are my favorite colors."
 * Loser: "Yeah, it'll make watching my show a little bit more... spooky!"
 * Gaty: "Spooky is also my favorite color."
 * Loser: "Well, enjoy your vampires."
 * Gaty: "Wait! I'll take the old TV!"
 * [Cut to Gaty's room where Loser is found grunting to get the TV to the other side of the bed.]
 * Loser: "How can only two colors be so heavy?" [Puts it on the bed.] "Here you are. Now to plug it in. So, you can be happy or sad or whatever that emotion is. And I won't be left in the dark." [Plugs in the TV. Unfortunately, the plug is broken, and the power goes out.] "Dang it."
 * [Many of the Object kids murmur in confusion about the power outage.]
 * Basketball: "All right! All right! Everybody just calm down!"
 * Yellow Face: "Guys! I can't see anything! I think I've gone blind!"
 * Basketball: "No, you didn't go blind. What the heck happened?"
 * Loser: "I was just plugging in the old TV for Gaty and it must've made the lights go out."
 * Basketball: "Of course it was your fault, Loser."
 * [All the other sisters complain about what their brother did.]
 * Loser: "What? All I did was plug in some dumb old TV!"
 * Blocky: "Hey! I know why the lights went out! Cause they liked each other! [laughs as her siblings sigh] "Get it? Get it?"
 * Teardrop: "That one was so good, it deserves a cookie." [hands her one]
 * Blocky: "Oh, thanks." [eats it] "So anyway, what did one light bulb say to the other?" [suddenly starts glowing]
 * [The rest of the siblings gasp.]
 * Loser: "You're glowing."
 * Blocky: "Oh. I already told you that one?"
 * Bottle: "No, dude. You are glowing."
 * Blocky: [notices she is] "Hey, wow!"
 * Basketball: "Everyone back away from Blocky. [the siblings step back] Teardrop, Mom and Dad said you're not allowed to use your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore!"
 * Yellow Face: "Yeah! Not after what you did to me!"
 * [Cut to flashback of Yellow Face and Teardrop with Yellow Face experiencing side effects from Teardrop's experiment. Her face is extremely swollen and covered in blemish-like substances.]
 * Yellow Face: "My face feels funny."
 * [End flashback]
 * Teardrop: "Classic. All I did was infuse the bioluminescent DNA of the Aequorea victoria jellyfish into a cookie. I call them Gloweos. Besides, now we can see."
 * Basketball: "Okay. Everyone huddle around Blocky.
 * [They do as Basketball says.]
 * Blocky: "I always knew I was the light of your life." [giggles as the rest of her siblings sigh.]
 * Loser: "Okay. So, how about we get that power back on."
 * Basketball: "Hey, when Mom and Dad are out, I'm in charge. So first, we need to get a head count to make sure we're all here."
 * Loser: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten and me, that's 11. Yep, that's all of us. We are all here and accounted for."
 * Gaty: "You forgot me."
 * [Loser screams and falls to the ground after getting startled by Gaty.]
 * Loser: "Can I go flip the circuit breaker and get the lights back on before Gaty gives me a heart attack?"
 * Basketball: "Again, in charge. I'll do it. Where's this circuit breaker thingy?"
 * Loser: "In the basement."
 * [The kids arrive at the basement. Basketball's silhouette peers over the basement's darkness.]
 * Basketball: "Why am I the one who has to do this?"
 * Basketball's Siblings: [at the same time angrily] "Because you're in charge!"
 * Basketball: "All right, all right! Come on, Blocky. Light the way."
 * Blocky: "That's the brightest idea you've had all day!" [giggles. Basketball pulls her from their siblings. After doing so, Blocky's glow goes away. The rest of the siblings gasp.] "Oooh. I thought I was staying in tonight, but I guess I'm going out!" [Blocky giggles as the rest of her siblings sigh.]
 * Basketball: "Teardrop, give her another one of those cookies. We won't tell."
 * Teardrop: [On her clipboard] "Negative. That was the only one. Prototype."
 * Basketball: "Just great..." [hears a wooden creak and gasps in fear] "There's something in the basement! I'm not going down there!"
 * Nickel: [teasing Basketball] "Ooh! You're scared of the dark!"
 * Basketball: "I am not! You're the one who's scared."
 * Nickel: "I'm not afraid of anything."
 * Gaty: "Boo."
 * Nickel: "AAH!"
 * [While most of the girls start arguing, the twins start to tremble with fright.]
 * Twins: "THERE'S A GHOST IN THE BASEMENT!!!" [sobbing]
 * Loser: "Guys! I'm running out of time! It's really important that I...I...I..." [sighs in realization] "...fix this. OKAY, QUIET!" [the girls stop] "Come here, you two. It's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of." [hugs the twins to comfort them] "Your big brother will protect you. In fact...I will protect all of you! For I am Cadet Loser! Highly trained student of the Academy of Ghost Hunters! Or...AGH!" [puts on night vision goggles and busts out his walkie-talkie.] "Cadet Cake, this is Cadet Loser. Forget the plan. I'm going to need backup."
 * [Enter Cake]
 * Cake: "Cadet Cake, reporting for duty." [notices Basketball and gets aroused] "B-B-B-Basketball?" [starts acting like a robot] "RED ALERT. RED ALERT. DOES NOT COMPUTE. CIRCUIT OVERLOAD. MUST ABORT MISSION." [leaves]
 * Loser: [to the viewers] "I told you it gets awkward." [prepares to enter the basement] "I will now descend into the scariest place in the house: the basement. But fear not, with my official AGH! branded night vision goggles, I can see in the dark." [begins to head down but slips down the stairs and loses his walkie-talkie.]
 * Basketball: "Loser, are you okay?"
 * Loser: "The bad news is, my goggles are just a toy and do not really see in the dark! The good news is, they cushioned my face from the hard basement floor!"
 * Blocky: "Hey! I think my video camera has a night vision setting."
 * Loser: [rushes back up] "Sweet!" [takes it] "It's just like the cameras they use on AGH! I'm going in."
 * Basketball: "Wait! You're not leaving us up here all alone, are you? I mean, we couldn't possibly let you go down there all alone. We should all go down together. As a group." [grins pleadingly]
 * Loser: "Very well. I'll lead the way."
 * [The basement; Loser leads the way with Blocky's camera as his guide.]
 * Loser: "You may want to stay close. There's no telling what could be lurking down here in the dark."
 * Blocky: "There's nothing funny about this situation. Although, I do like dark humor."
 * Yellow Face: "Is someone touching my hand?"
 * Nickel: "You're touching your own hand."
 * Basketball: "I hate basements."
 * [An eerie sound comes.]
 * Basketball: [gasps] "What's that moaning?!"
 * [The girls all gasp and Loser turns to the source.]
 * Loser: "Don't freak out. It's just the pipe settling."
 * [Another scary sound]
 * Yellow Face: "What's that scratching?!"
 * [The girls gasp again and Loser checks.]
 * Loser: "Don't be scared. It's just Cinder the Cat."
 * [Cinder is using his scratching post and meows.]
 * Nickel: [plug up her nose] "What is that smell?!"
 * [The girls gasp again and Loser sees something familiar.]
 * Loser: "It's just Liy with a full diaper."
 * [Bottle is holding Liy and understandably grossed out by her baby sister.]
 * Liy: [giggles] "I'm pickle light switch!"
 * Loser: "See, guys? I told you. There's nothing to be afraid of."
 * [Another ominous noise occurs, surprising Loser and his sisters.]
 * Basketball: "What is it?!"
 * ???:"Loser...LOSER..."
 * Loser: [terrified] "IT'S A GHOST AND IT KNOWS MY NAME!"
 * [The girls all start running around and every one of them except Gaty is screaming.]
 * Loser: [bravely] "I'LL SAVE YOU, SISTERS!" [charges at the ghost]
 * [The lights come back on and it turns out Loser is attacking the laundry basket.]
 * Loser: Hi-yah! Take that, evil spirit!
 * Basketball: [After finding the circuit breaker and turning the lights back on herself.] "Cool it, Loser. It's not a ghost. It's just our laundry."
 * [Loser emerges from the laundry and sheepishly grins; it also turns out that the sound was coming from his walkie-talkie.]
 * Cake: [on the other end] "Loser! Loser! Do you read me?"
 * Loser: [picks up] "Cake?"
 * Cake: "I was just calling to say sorry for not being such a good AGH! cadet. And is your sister ready to date younger men?"
 * Basketball: "Never gonna happen!"
 * Cake: "Was that your sister?!" [robot act] "RED ALERT. RED ALERT. OVERLOAD. OVERLOAD."
 * [Loser has one of those "The things I have to put up with" looks on his face.]
 * Yellow Face: [with her eyes closed] "Guys! I still can't see!"
 * Teardrop: "Open your eyes."
 * Yellow Face: [opens her eyes] "IT'S A MIRACLE!"
 * Basketball: "First one to the TV is couch commando."
 * Loser: "I can still get there first!"
 * [Loser hurries to the couch so he can be the first one and races and passes all of his sisters; he manages to get there first and grabs the remote and turns on the TV only to find out that his show is now over after all he's been through with his sisters.]
 * Jennah: "WOW! That was by far the best episode of AGH! ever! I'd hate to be you if you missed it!"
 * Loser: [Shocked] "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [lamenting] I can't believe I missed my show..."
 * [Loser starts to break into tears and his sisters all see how miserable he is and feel pretty bad for him.]
 * Basketball: [hands him some popcorn] "Sorry you missed your show, Loser."
 * Blocky: "But you just lived it. Check it out." [plugs her camera into the TV and shows him what he filmed.]
 * [They watch and enjoy their little adventure on film and Loser is happy to have actually lived the show instead of just watching it.]
 * Loser: [To the viewers] "You know, I may have missed my show. But sometimes, it's not about being there first. Sometimes, it's about being there together. All of us."
 * Gaty: "You forgot me."
 * Siblings: [Gets startled by her appearance] "AAAHH!!!" [organ pipe plays]