The Mysterious Mermaid Man

The Mysterious Mermaid Man is a derivative of The Mysterious Moonshade.

Characters:

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Sheldon J. Plankton
 * Gwen
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Mrs. Puff
 * Patrick Star
 * Mr. Krabs
 * Zora
 * Randy
 * Morty

References:

 * The Mysterious Mermaid Man/References

Transcript:

 * [tropical friends chattering]
 * Bill: Attention, everyone! Attention! The official SpongeBob Fan Club will come to order. Let's get right down to our first order of business. I motion that SpongeBob be declared the most awesome tropical friend in Bikini Bottom.
 * Morty: I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word 'awesome' in the dictionary, there would be a picture of SpongeBob.
 * [tropical friends agreeing]
 * Randy: I object!
 * [tropical friends gasp]
 * Randy: I think the word 'awesome' is played out! SpongeBob deserves better! I motion that we declare her the most stupendous tropical friend!
 * Bill: 'Stupendous'? Is that the best you've got? I motion that we declare her... wonderiffic!
 * Randy: Astonishing!
 * Bill: Breathtaking!
 * Randy: Astounding!
 * Bill: Bedazzling!
 * SpongeBob: What about super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?
 * [tropical friends agreeing]
 * Bill: All in favor of declaring SpongeBob the most 'super-ultra-extra-uh-whatever you said' tropical friend in all of Bikini Bottom, say 'aye'!
 * Fan club: Aye! [cheering]
 * SpongeBob: [giggles]


 * SpongeBob: [sigh] What a beautiful day. There's nothing like a dip in the clouds to make a Pegasus feel super relaxed.
 * Gwen: Help! Help! Help! Help!
 * SpongeBob: Looks like my sky swim will have to wait! I'm SpongeBob, and I'm here to rescue you!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: Wow. What's with this crowd? Uh, thanks, everyone. It was really no big deal.
 * Gwen: To me it was! You're my hero, SpongeBob!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * Bill: That SpongeBob sure is something.
 * Randy and Morty: Something special.


 * &quot;Mrs. Puff&quot;: [screams]
 * Zora: [crying]
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!
 * [crowd gasps]
 * SpongeBob: She's not cheering for everyone's favorite hero, SpongeBob!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * [cameras clicking]
 * Bill: There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe SpongeBob's awesomeness.
 * Squidward: I can think of a few new words.
 * Mr. Krabs: And I bet 'modest' is not one of them.
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * Squidward: No, but she is Mrs. Puffa awesome.


 * [elderly tropical friends chattering]
 * [splintering wood]
 * SpongeBob: Never fear, your friendly neighborhood SpongeBob is here!
 * [elderly tropical friends screaming]
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * Fish 1: We'd be lost without you!
 * Fish 2: You're our hero, SpongeBob!
 * Crowd: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: I can't hear you!
 * Crowd: SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
 * Squidward: Call me silly, but I think this whole hero thing might be going to SpongeBob's head.
 * Patrick: You may be right...silly.


 * SpongeBob: And then I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my surname. SpongeBob 'Danger'. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.
 * Sandy: That day.
 * Mr. Krabs: Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely arrogant ever since.
 * Patrick and Squidward: Mm-hm.
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. How'd you like to be immortalized as my friend?
 * Mr. Krabs: Immorta-what?
 * [camera clicking]
 * Squidward: Are you taking notes?
 * Sandy: Yup! I've been hoof-picked by SpongeBob herself, to write her autobiography!
 * Squidward: Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written by the tropical friend they are about.
 * SpongeBob: Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill tropical friends. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Sandy as my ghost writer.
 * Patrick: [yelps] Sandy's a ghost!
 * SpongeBob: ...Anyway. Sandy here writes down everything I say. Don't you, Sandy?
 * Sandy: Don't... you... Sandy. Got it!
 * SpongeBob: This way, I can stay focused on performing those acts of bravery that no one else has the guts to perform. Yep, it takes guts. But it also takes brains. And sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero is surely not for everyone, but I'm up to the challenge.


 * SpongeBob: [grunts] There you go.
 * &quot;Franco&quot;: Someday, I wanna be just like you!
 * SpongeBob: Aim high, kid, but don't aim for the impossible.
 * Francis: [screams]
 * [tropical friends gasp]
 * Francis: Help! Help!
 * Randy: Uh, don't you think you should go and help?
 * SpongeBob: [muffled] Yeah, yeah. I've got a good ten seconds to spare. Just a couple more.
 * Sandy: The tension is unbearable. Will SpongeBob make it on time?
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * Fish: Holy turnips, that tropical friend came outta nowhere!
 * Tina-Fran: I've never seen such bravery in all my life!
 * Abigail Marge: That's right! Bikini Bottom has a new hero. A mysterious boy that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero 'The Mysterious Mermaid Man'!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: Mermaid Man, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Bikini Bottom's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!


 * [tropical friends screaming]
 * SpongeBob: [clears throat] Never fear, your friendly neighborhood SpongeBob–
 * Larry: Excuse me, uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?!
 * SpongeBob: Ugh, fine! Picky, picky. Whoaaaa! Aah!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * &quot;Laughter&quot;: Oh, thank you, Fish Do We– e...
 * SpongeBob: I can't believe it. Mermaid Man is stronger than me? Well, a hero is more than just muscle, and she's gonna learn that the hard way.


 * [jackhammer and drills]
 * Sheila: Huh?
 * SpongeBob: Huh? Never fear, your friendly neighbor– Whoa!
 * [building creaking]
 * [crashing]
 * SpongeBob: Never fear– Uh! I'm coming! Hold on! Whoa!
 * Clay: Look!
 * Sheila: [cheers]
 * &quot;Gale&quot;: Look out for the– Watch out for falling– On your left! Agh! Your other left!
 * SpongeBob: Here ya go, safe and sound.
 * [crash]
 * &quot;Gale&quot;: [faints]
 * SpongeBob: Well, Mermaid Man, or should I call you Fish Do Slow? You're gonna have to pick up the pace if you wanna compete with me, 'cause I move like lightning.
 * &quot;Nat&quot;: Actually, she saved all of us! We owe her our lives!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: [growls] Okay. She's strong, fast, and somehow knows what's gonna happen ahead of time. I've gotta step up my game.


 * [water rushing]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] If the dam breaks, the whole town will be flooded! Looks like Bikini Bottom needs a hero! Easy peasy.
 * [stone cracking]
 * SpongeBob: My game is officially back on. If only someone were here to pat me on the back. Eh, guess I'll have to do it myself– [yelps] [screams] Help! [spits] Help! You?! I suppose you want me to thank– You gotta be kidding me...
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: Lemme get this straight. She's strong, she's agile, and she's magic? Ughhh! How do I compete with that? Wait a minute. I do have a leg up on her. And that leg is... wings! Hah! Take that, Mermaid Man!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, for the love of Pete.


 * Mr. Krabs: Gotta hand it to the girl, that Mermaid Man sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.
 * Squidward: I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam. Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.
 * SpongeBob: [growls]
 * Mrs. Puff: She really cares about everyone's safety.
 * Plankton: Have you seen her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.
 * Mr. Krabs: And she's modest and humble. She lets her actions speak for themselves. Gotta admire that.
 * SpongeBob: I don't have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!
 * Sandy: She's... great.
 * SpongeBob: I didn't say that.
 * Squidward: Sounds like someone's jealous.
 * SpongeBob: Who, me?
 * Sandy: SpongeBob is jealous.
 * SpongeBob: Don't write that, Sandy!
 * [others laughing]
 * Sandy: Correction: SpongeBob is very jealous.
 * SpongeBob: Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good– no, that I'm a better hero than Mermaid Man!


 * SpongeBob: Huh, no sign of trouble here. Darn it.
 * SpongeBob: Buses and baby carriages are always careening down this hill. Where is an out-of-control vehicle when you need one?!
 * SpongeBob: Rrgh, there are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere! How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe? [gasps] Hold it right there, Lonnie! You don't have to pretend with me. I can see that you're in way over your head here.
 * Lonnie: Eh, what's that?
 * SpongeBob: You're putting on a brave face, I get it. But you don't have to anymore. I'll help you cross the street!
 * Lonnie: [grunting] Actually, I can cross the street just fine!
 * SpongeBob: Don't worry! You're in extremely... capable... hooves!
 * Lonnie: [panicked grunts] Back off!
 * SpongeBob: [pants] Here we are! Safe and sound. A good and heroic citizen deserves a little recognition, don't you think?
 * Lonnie: I didn't wanna cross the street in the first place! [complaining and squeaking]
 * Nazz-Mimi: [grunting]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] Someone's in trouble!
 * Nazz-Mimi: [grunting]
 * SpongeBob: You'd better let me handle this, ma'am! For your own safety, I must ask you to stand back!
 * Nazz-Mimi: Oh, brother.
 * SpongeBob: [cracks neck] [grunting]
 * SpongeBob: Ta-da!
 * Nazz-Mimi: Uh... thanks.
 * SpongeBob: How would you describe what I just did? Would you say I was amazing?
 * Nazz-Mimi: Aren't you milking this a bit?
 * SpongeBob: Please, just answer the question! Was I, or was I not, amazing?
 * Nazz-Mimi: Oh, you're amazing alright. An amazingly–
 * SpongeBob: Oh, look!
 * [lawnmower rattling]
 * SpongeBob: Another great feat of heroism! I have just saved that grass!
 * &quot;Fred&quot;: From what?
 * SpongeBob: From weeds! Weeds that were attempting to eat this lawn!
 * Tom: Lame...
 * Fish: Whatever.
 * SpongeBob: Aww, who am I kidding?


 * [thundercloud rumbles throughout]
 * SpongeBob: All anyone talks about is Mermaid Man this and Mermaid Man that! What about me? How could everyone forget about me so easily? I mean... have I changed? Same sleek body. Same flowing mane. Same spectacular hooves. Nope, I'm still awesome. They're wrong. But... then... why am I all alone? I hate being all alone.
 * Bill: Hey, SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: I knew it! No need to apologize, squirt. Anyone could make that mistake.
 * Bill: Mistake? What mistake?
 * SpongeBob: Wait a minute. Why are you here?
 * Bill: To invite you to join us! We're heading off to the thank you parade for Bikini Bottom's greatest hero, Mermaid Man.
 * SpongeBob: No! No way! Can't you see I-I wanna be alone? I love being alone.
 * Bill: Oh, okay. See you later then.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, right, like I'm gonna thank her. [mockingly] Thank you, Mermaid Man, whoever you are, for ruining e– [normal] Hey, squirt! Wait up!


 * Abigail Marge: Welcome to Bikini Bottom's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mermaid Man!
 * [tropical friends cheering]
 * SpongeBob: The mysterious Mermaid Man, huh?
 * [tropical friends gasp]
 * SpongeBob: So what are you hiding? Let's see how mysterious you are without that mask!
 * Mermaid Man: [whistles]
 * SpongeBob: What the hay?
 * Mermaid Man: [whistles]
 * SpongeBob: Grrr... I got you now! Alright, Mister Mysterious! Mystery... solved! [yelps] P-p-p-p- Patrick?! Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- huh?! Squidward?! Mr. Krabs?! There were three of you?!
 * Squidward: Yup, we all played Mermaid Man at different times.
 * Mr. Krabs: I stopped the carriage bus with these babies, Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee.
 * Patrick: I saved the construction workers with my Patrick Sense. [twitches]
 * [flowerpot shatters]
 * Francis: Sorry!
 * Patrick: It's alright.
 * Squidward: And I used my magic to fix the dam.
 * Mrs. Puff: Ooh, ooh! And I did the flyby afterwards.
 * Plankton: I made the costumes. Fabulous if I do say so myself!
 * SpongeBob: I don't understand. Why? Don't you want me to be a hero?
 * Squidward: Of course we want you to be a hero.
 * Mr. Krabs: But a real hero doesn't brag.
 * SpongeBob: Uh, I guess I did start to brag a little.
 * Other main cast: A little?!
 * SpongeBob: Okay, a lot.
 * Squidward: Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But...
 * Mr. Krabs: ...Rubbin' them in everyone's face is not.
 * Patrick: Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anyone's face is chocolate cake. [slurp]
 * Mr. Krabs: I think we're getting off topic here.
 * Squidward: What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.
 * SpongeBob: Ohhhh. That makes loads more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mermaid Man.
 * Squidward: Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Gary.
 * Sandy: Already got it covered. As your ghost writer, I've already penned a letter to them.
 * SpongeBob: That's nice of you, Sandy, but I really wanna write this letter myself.
 * Sandy: Aww, come on, I wrote the whole thing already!
 * SpongeBob: Okay, let's hear it.
 * Sandy: [clears throat] Dear Gar-
 * SpongeBob: Look out! It's a real ghost!
 * Patrick and Sandy: [yelping and screaming]
 * Others: [laughing]


 * [music]
 * [credits]