Done Broke/Transcript

( plays sad trombone ) ( groans ) ( spooky organ music playing ) ( voices cackling eerily ) ( Rossini's "William Tell Overture" plays ) ( chirping ) ( blows landing ) ( brash jazzy music plays ) I'm sick of you always touching my stuff! Yeah? Well, I'm sick of your face! Hey! Close the window! You know I hate fighting when it's drafty. It ain't open. Well, then where's that wind coming from? ( wind whooshing ) both: Whoa! ( moaning ) ( spooky music plays ) both: A g-g-ghost! Boo. ( both scream ) ( laughing ) Y? So it's true. You really are a ghost. I told you so. Now fork it over. Ghost? How many ghosts you know can do this? ( tap dancing ) So, not a ghost. Hmm. Would you say that you're half a ghost? Well, I'd say you're half right. But keep it under your straw, boys. Mum's the word. It's a secret. So, you got any ghost powers? Ooh, yeah! Hmm. I'd show ya, but what's in it for me? Well... I can fly. both: Whoa! I can disappear. What? Huh? I can pick stuff up. both: Whoa. I can pass through stuff. ( both exclaim ) What else? What else? Oh! I can do this! ( roars ) And I can possess people. My name is Q. I'm a weenie who's afraid of everything. Honk, honk. ( laughs ) ( groans ) My name Is V. My straw is bent, and I ain't too worried about anything. ( laughs ) Yes! He says all of that. ( laughs ) Neat. ( laughs ) Hey! You ding-dongs wanna grab some ice cream? My treat. both: Yeah, yeah, yeah! ( "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays ) There you go. Enjoy your flavors of the day! all: Yay! That'll be one dollar. Sorry, I don't accept damaged currency. But that's all we have. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm afraid the flavor of the day is goodbye! ( tires squeal ) ( sad music plays ) Oh nuts. I really had my heart set on ice cream. Say, I just thought of a way we could get all the ice cream we could ever want! Oh yeah? Yeah, yeah! Huddle up! So first... ( whispering indistinctly ) Until tomorrow, dear, sweet The Theater. ( Y moaning ) ( gasps ) Who's there? ( roars ) ( screams ) ( knocking at door ) Oh, do excuse me. Ghost removers! They scare 'em... We snare 'em. Are you having any paranormal issues? ( both groan ) ( spooky organ music plays ) ( Y moaning ) ( wailing ) ( grunts ) ( Y roars weakly ) Bravo, bravo! Wonderful job, boys. Q: That'll be 25 cents, please. ( mellow music plays ) It's the perfect scam. You go in and haunt the joint, then we come along and un-haunt it. Boys, we got ourselves a gold mine. With extra sprinkles. ( upbeat music playing ) ( man exclaims fearfully ) Ghost removers. ( continues exclaiming ) ( roars ) Yay. ( woman screams ) both: Ghost removers. ( roaring ) ( screaming ) ( cash register rings ) ( screaming ) ( roaring ) ( cash register rings ) ( Y laughs menacingly ) ( cash register rings ) ( oinks ) ( all laughing ) Definitely got enough for ice cream now. I guess we're done scamming. Unless you want those extra sprinkles. Yeah, yeah, yeah! That's the spirit. Now, to find one last sucker. Ooh, this next house is creepy. ( ominous music playing ) Half the work's done already. See you in a minute, ghost removers. ( moans ) ( suspenseful music plays ) Hmm. ( moaning ) ( roaring ) Oy! This place is deserted. Yikes. Hmm. Belinda, Bedelia, Bonnie, Boo-Boo. Ooh, what's that? "We are the Birnbaum quadruplets." "Say our names to release our spirits." ( scoffs ) Yeah, right. Well, this place was a bust. Guess we'll have to find another house. ( flames roar ) ( gasps ) They're gone. Oh... ( voices laughing ) ( screams ) You hear that? That must be the lady of the house. That's our cue. ( spooky music plays ) I guess we'll let ourselves in. both: Ghost removers! Ugh. Kind of a dump. They scare 'em, we-- ( shattering ) Whoa! Good job, Y. Nothing to worry about, ma'am, just a falling chandelier. We see this kind of thing all the time. Q: Yoo-hoo! Miss Ghost! Come out, come out, wherever you are. Ow! ( whispers ) The old floatin' furniture routine. Good idea, Y. ( loudly ) Oh no! Look out! We better get out of here. ( mock yells ) Oh no! V: Don't hurt us! ( both mock yelling ) ( both laughing ) ( panting ) All right, Y. Enough already! Now take-- Ow! Take it easy! Yeah! That one hurt. ( both groan woozily ) ( screams ) Q: Ow. ( groans ) Jeez, Y is really laying it on thick. V? Look. ( dramatic music plays ) ( gulps ) But if Y is in that painting, then that means this house really is... Haunted. ( voices laughing ) ( spooky music playing ) So these are real g-g-ghosts? Ya-huh. This is terrible! I just wanted ice cream. ( sisters cackling ) We're the g-g-ghost removers. Are-- Are you having any p-p-paranormal issues? Why, yes! We've been trapped in that painting for 100 years. Waiting for someone to take our places. Can you help with that? All right, you let our friend out of that painting this instant! ( all laughing ) Oh, we couldn't possibly. It's our turn to go out into the world and have some fun. Do you have any idea what it's like to be trapped in the same house with your sibling day in and day out? both: Yes. Good! Then you'll be used to it, 'cause whoever's in the painting at the stroke of midnight stays trapped in there for the next 100 years. ( laughs ) ( ticking ) ( both gasp ) That's in four minutes. Now, listen here, lady. We're gonna get our-- V! ( fast-paced music plays ) ( laughing ) ( exclaims ) ( grunting ) ( grunts and exclaims ) ( laughs ) Y! ( laughing ) ( gasps ) ( panting ) ( both gasp ) ( laughing ) ( Y grunts ) V! I was just-- ( groans ) ( screams ) ( V screams ) ( laughing ) ( exclaims ) Come to Mama! ( screams ) Bonnie! ( laughs ) ( screams ) Oh no! You broke it, you idiot! We still have three more. That should be plenty. ( Q panting ) ( frame slams ) ( quadruplet screams ) ( Q yells ) ( gasps ) ( frame slams ) ( gasps ) ( laughs ) ( grunting ) ( laughing ) Well, it would seem that there's only one frame left, but it's still big enough for the two of you. Where'd Y go? See you in 100 years! ( gasps ) all: Uh-oh. ( all scream ) ( clock chimes ) I got a lot of plans for these next 100 years, and I don't wanna spend 'em trapped in a painting. Thanks for getting me out, boys. Whadda ya say we put all this behind us and get ice cream? Ooh! With extra sprinkles. Hey, wait a minute. Where's our piggy bank? ( ominous music plays ) ( oinks )