Saw Pranked-A-Lot


 * [Saw and Tennis Ball walk up to the Palace of Pranks.]
 * Saw: Well, Tennis Ball, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop in Goiky. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag... [the scene shows a close up of the can of Seanut Brittle.] seanut brittle can.
 * Tennis Ball: Oh, boy, Seanut Brittle. Gimmie!
 * [Tennis Ball tries to open the can.]
 * Saw: Tennis Ball, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?
 * Tennis Ball: Nice try, Saw, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Seanut Brittle! [opens the can and purple tubes pop out of the can] Where's the Seanut Brittle?
 * Saw: [laughs] That gets funnier every time you say it, Tennis Ball. Come on, let's go inside.
 * [Saw walks off screen.]
 * Tennis Ball: [starting to cry] Seanut Brittle?
 * [Saw enters the Palace of Pranks and smells the air.]
 * Saw: Ah! [Tennis Ball enters the scene] Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. [an aisle is shown] Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! [walks down an aisle] Isn't it everything I said it would be, Tennis Ball?
 * Tennis Ball: [in another aisle] Hey, Seanut Brittle! [purple tubes appear popping above the aisle that the Tennis Ball is in] Oh, darn it, not again!
 * [The scene only shows Saw in his aisle. Saw laughs. An old fish named Frank enters the scene.]
 * Frank: Good to see you, Saw. How's my number one customer doing?
 * Saw: Great, Frank. This is my friend Tennis Ball. He wants to become a prankster, too.
 * Frank: [walks up to Tennis Ball] Well, pleasure to meet you, Tennis Ball. [shakes Tennis Ball's hand, but Frank has a joy buzzer, so it shocks Tennis Ball. Tennis Ball screams and sucks on his hand. Frank laughs.] That's your first lesson, son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer.
 * Tennis Ball: I don't get it.
 * Frank: You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.
 * Saw: You see, Tennis Ball, Frank here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him. [he and Tennis Ball walk to the checkout counter and Frank is behind it.] Okay, Frank, let's see what you've got.
 * Frank: Well, this came in just this morning. [shows a package of gum] Have some gum. [Tennis Ball chews the gum but then he screams as his head explodes] Ha! Exploding chewing gum. Only $9.95.
 * Tennis Ball: [His head is gone, leaving a neck bone in the shape of a femur and he talks muffled] I don't get it.
 * Saw: [takes out a dollar.] What can we get for one dollar?
 * Frank: One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar-- [takes out a fake dollar] fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.
 * Saw: What else have you got?
 * [Frank holds up a whoopee cushion.]
 * Frank: A whoopee cushion.
 * Saw: Nah.
 * [Frank holds up fake vomit.]
 * Frank: Fake vomit.
 * Saw: No.
 * [Part of the counter is covered in real vomit.]
 * Frank: Real vomit?
 * Saw: Eww! Don't you have anything good?
 * Frank: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster. [shows close up of a spray can] Invisible Spray!
 * Saw: Wow, invisible spray!
 * Tennis Ball: But I can see it.
 * Saw: Gee, Tennis Ball, just think of the pranks we could pull with this.
 * [Saw gives Frank some money.]
 * Frank: Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.
 * Saw: Thanks, Frank. [he and Tennis Ball walk off-screen. The scene changes to show Saw and Tennis Ball outside.] Here it is, Tennis Ball. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray.
 * Tennis Ball: What are we gonna do with it?
 * Saw: I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair.
 * [They both think about sitting on an invisible bench, surrounded by Nat, Tom, Tina-Fran, Horace, Halber, and Shelia.]
 * Nat: They're floating in midair!
 * Tina-Fran: How do they do that?
 * [The thought bubble disappears.]
 * Tennis Ball: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, Saw!
 * [Tennis Ball gives Saw a thumbs up.]
 * Saw: Well, let's get started.
 * [Tennis Ball takes off his shorts.]
 * Tennis Ball: Okay, I'm ready.
 * [Tennis Ball drops his pants on the ground.]
 * Saw: Any particular reason you took your pants off?
 * Tennis Ball: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?
 * Saw: That it does, Tennis Ball, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second. [Tennis Ball takes the can of spray while Saw takes off his pants. Tennis Ball hugs the can.] Okay, Tennis Ball, give me the can.
 * Tennis Ball: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.
 * Saw: Tennis Ball, spraying the park bench was my idea.
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!
 * Saw: Give me that thing.
 * [Saw grabs the can and he and Tennis Ball wrestle over it. Saw accidentally sprays their clothes and they disappear]
 * Tennis Ball: Hey, the invisible spray works!
 * [A tour bus drives up.]
 * Tom: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!
 * [The passengers laugh and Tom laughs. The bus drives off. Saw covers his lower half]
 * Saw: Oh my gosh, Tennis Ball, help me find our clothes!
 * [Saw pats the ground, trying to grab the clothes. Tennis Ball sprays Saw's right hand and it disappears]
 * Tennis Ball: I gotta hand it to you, Saw. You look kinda funny.
 * [Tennis Ball laughs and Saw screams.]
 * Saw: Righty, where are you? [Tennis Ball laughs again.] No one messes with Righty! [takes the spray can with his invisible hand.] We'll see how you like it! [sprays Tennis Ball making a hole in the middle of his body] Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
 * [Tennis Ball takes the can.]
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah. [He sprays Saw's upper left corner.] I see what you mean.
 * [Saw takes the spray can and sprays Tennis Ball's lower half.]
 * Saw: No guts, no glory! [laughs]
 * French Narrator: Several bad puns later...
 * [The scene returns to Saw and Tennis Ball, who are now invisible. Tennis Ball shakes the can.]
 * Tennis Ball: Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.
 * [Saw grabs the can and shakes it.]
 * Saw: Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Tennis Ball. You used the last of it.
 * [Saw throws the can far away.]
 * Tennis Ball: Hey, I think I found our pants. [a ripping noise is heard] Oops! Here, these are yours.
 * Saw: Oh, forget the pants, Tennis Ball. Let's get home and wash this paint off.
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball walk off somewhere.]
 * Tennis Ball: Hey, Saw, do you know what time it is?
 * Saw: Oh sure, it's... half past invisible.
 * Tennis Ball: Gee, it's getting late.
 * [They walk up behind Nat.]
 * Saw: Let's ask this guy. Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?
 * Nat: Sure. [looks at his watch] It's, uh, ten to three.
 * Saw: Thank you.
 * Nat: Don't mention it.
 * [Nat turns around to notice there is seemingly no one there.]
 * Tennis Ball: Don't mention what?
 * Nat: Uh, who said that?
 * Tennis Ball: Me.
 * Nat: [screams] Ghosts!
 * [Nat runs away from them; his eyes pop out. His eyes scream, jump into a car and drive away.]
 * Tennis Ball: Hey, I'm no ghost! Well, the nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs!
 * Saw: Wait a second, Tennis Ball, my brain just hatched an idea.
 * Tennis Ball: Lay it on me.
 * Saw: Okay, we're invisible, right?
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah.
 * Saw: If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody in Goiky. Oh, it's the ultimate prank.
 * Saw and Tennis Ball: Whoo! High five!
 * [They give each other a high five]
 * Saw: Let's go scare some suckers!
 * [The scene changes to show Golf Ball's treedome. The scene then shows her reading a book in a rocking chair in her tree. She hears a noise, which is Saw and Tennis Ball's laughter. She checks to see what it is, but there is supposedly nothing there. She gets up and goes to her window.]
 * Golf Ball: Huh? [the outside of her tree is shown] Well, that's funny, I thought I heard voices. Huh? [walks up to a glass of juice on the floor] I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. [walks over to a table with a lamp covered in garbage] And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Tennis Ball?
 * [Photos of Tennis Ball are on the walls and tables, and the rug has his face on it. Golf Ball turns around and sees Saw and Tennis Ball covered in white sheets over their heads as they wail.]
 * Saw and Tennis Ball: We're ghosts.
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball wail again. Golf Ball laughs.]
 * Golf Ball: I knew it was you guys! Alright, the joke's over. Take off the sheets. [pulls off the sheets and notices there is nothing there, then gasps] It is ghosts!
 * [Golf Ball screams. She takes out a remote with a large red button. She pressed the button and an escape pod that is in the shape of an acorn appears out of some panels. She enters the escape pod and presses a button. The escape pod flies out of her dome, above the water, past the Goiky island, and lands in Texas. The escape pod explodes in Texas. Saw and Tennis Ball leave Golf Ball's house, laughing.]
 * Saw: Boy, we really scared her!
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball laugh.]
 * Tennis Ball: Who's gonna be our next victim?
 * Saw: A better question would be, "Who isn't?"
 * [The scene changes to show Lollipop's house, where she is preparing to eat a piece of cake.]
 * Lollipop: Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! [laughs] You will soon be mine. [Tennis Ball and possibly Saw eats/eat the cake, making it look like ghosts have eaten it. Tennis Ball's face is covered in cake. He belches loudly and wipes it off.] Oh! [gets filled up with air and then lets it out flying all around] Ghosts!
 * [Her deflated body lands on the table. The scene changes to show Bubble painting and humming to himself at his house. Saw and/or Tennis Ball takes the paintbrush, making it look like it is floating in mid air.]
 * Bubble: Huh?
 * [Saw and/or Tennis Ball paint(s) a mustache under Bubble's nose. The two wail ghostly. Bubble crashes through the wall and runs away.]
 * Bubble: Ghosts!
 * [The scene changes to show Bill surfing at Goo Lagoon. Saw and Tennis Ball surf up to Bill, making it look like a surfboard is on a wave by itself.]
 * Saw and Tennis Ball: [Speaking in ghostly voices] Cowabunga!
 * Bill: Ghosts!
 * [Bill screams while falling off the board.]
 * [Gale appears waving her arms wildly.]
 * Gale: Ghosts!
 * [Fred appears with his eyes bugging out of his head.]
 * Fred: Ghosts!
 * [Lonnie appears, scared with arms on his head.]
 * Lonnie: Ghosts!
 * [Francis appears in a sort of screaming position.]
 * Francis: Ghosts!
 * [Sandals appears holding a piece of toast.]
 * Sandals: Toast.
 * [Harold appears sitting on the toilet, appearing freaked out.]
 * Harold: Ghosts!
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball are reading newspapers. Saw laughs.]
 * Saw: It's official: we're the greatest pranksters ever. The whole town thinks we're ghosts.
 * [Tennis Ball is holding his newspaper upside down]
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah.
 * Saw: There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody in Goiky-- [An article is shown it reads, "Leafy Last To Be Haunted! says, 'I ain't afraid of no ghosts'"] Leafy.
 * [The same article is shown on Tennis Ball's paper, but it is upside down.]
 * Tennis Ball: It says he isn't scared of ghosts.
 * [Saw is "shown"]
 * Saw: We'll see about that!
 * [The scene changes to show Goiky. at night. Leafy peers out of the blinds.]
 * Leafy: Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts! Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief... [grabs a handkerchief] And his dried-up sea leprechaun. [shows ashes of the sea leprechaun] And a bit of gold never hurt. [shows a gold necklace around Leafy neck that reads, "Foxy"] But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot, [his underwear is strung up with rope] got me shivering timber brace, [shows his ankles chained together] and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down. [a strip of duct tape covers the hair. Leafy is shown wearing a barrel and a headpiece with lanterns hung on it.] And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor. And if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector! [holds up a paddle ball] So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on.
 * [The lights black turn off. Saw and Tennis Ball wail ghostly.]
 * Saw and Tennis Ball: [As they open the front door] Leafy!
 * Leafy: Wha?
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball toss over a table and barrel. They pick up a barrel and a table to make it look like they are floating.]
 * Saw: Leafy, we've come to haunt you.
 * [Leafy uses the specter detector (paddle ball) by bouncing the stringed ball back and forth from the paddle board.]
 * Leafy: Stay back, I'm well-armed!
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball moan ghostly. Saw and Tennis Ball walk by with a barrel, making it look like it is floating by. Leafy hits the ball faster.]
 * Leafy: I'm warning ya!
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball moan. Saw or Tennis Ball stops the ball. Saw or Tennis Ball then cuts the string.]
 * Leafy: [shivering] Ooh!
 * Saw and Tennis Ball: [quietly] Boo.
 * [Leafy breaks out of his armor and screams.]
 * Leafy: I gotta get out of here!
 * [He runs to the doors, but they don't open.]
 * Saw: You can't escape, Leafy. We've glued the door shut.
 * [The door is held closed with a long strip of glue. The scene shows the side of Goiky.]
 * Leafy: [off-screen] You'll never get me!
 * [Leafy tries to break through the window, but instead of shattering, the window stretches like elastic and slingshots him backwards, and he crashes into a table]
 * Tennis Ball: Nice try, Leafy, but we replaced all the glass with rubber!
 * [Leafy dives into the toilet, but gets stuck. He pulls himself out and sits on the floor, dazed]
 * Saw: Too late, Leafy, we've already clogged all the toilets. [The toilet is stuffed with toilet paper. Leafy cowers in a corner.]
 * Leafy: Please, spirits, leave me be.
 * [Tennis Ball laughs.]
 * Tennis Ball: [while Leafy is incoherently begging for his life] We got him good, Saw.
 * Saw: [while Leafy is incoherently begging for his life] Wait, Tennis Ball, I've got one more idea. [to Leafy] You're going to pay, Leafy.
 * Leafy: [shaking with fear] No, spirits, please!
 * Saw: Pay!
 * [a dollar floats in the air]
 * Leafy: No!
 * Saw: [high-pitched] Pay! [lights a match]
 * Leafy: No! Don't burn me for a dollar! [grabs a bucket of water and throws it at the dollar. The water drips on the Saw and Tennis Ball, making them reappear. They laugh, not noticing they're visible.] Well, well, well, if it isn't a Saw and Tennis Ball.
 * Saw: [wiggling his arms and legs like a ghost] I know not these names of which you speak.
 * [Tennis Ball looks down and notices that he is visible.]
 * Tennis Ball: Uh, Saw. Saw, we're visible again. [Saw looks down, then he and Tennis Ball scream and cover their lower halves. Leafy lifts them up by the back of their necks as they try to run.]
 * Leafy: So you two are the Goiky ghosts.
 * Saw: We're really sorry, Leafy. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em.
 * [Leafy puts them down.]
 * Leafy: Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me. [they all laugh.] Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?
 * Saw: Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.
 * [Leafy laughs]
 * Leafy: Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.
 * Saw: Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.
 * Tennis Ball: Me too.
 * Leafy: Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.
 * Saw: Leafy, thanks for being such a good sport.
 * Leafy: [off-screen] Don't mention it.
 * [Saw and Tennis Ball walk into the dining area.]
 * Saw: That Leafy, always looking out for me. What a guy.
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah.
 * [A white, round light shines on Saw and Tennis Ball. The scene pans out to show a crowd of people consisting of: Tom, Bill, Lollipop, Golf Ball, Bubble, Horace, Harold, Nathiel Waters, the red shirt Frank, Jimmy-Gus, Sadie, Nat, Nazz-Mimi, Purple Scooter, Dennis Rechid, Martin, an anchovy, two Frankie Billys, Clay, and Franco.]
 * Leafy: The Goiky presents... live nude pranksters! [He is shown shining the light on them from the crow's nest] Starring the Goiky Ghosts!
 * [Nat, Sadie, Harold, Martin, Abigail Marge, and Frank are shown cheering. Saw and Tennis Ball scream while trying to cover themselves up. Leafy laughs teasingly. Golf Ball whistles at them as Lollipop takes a picture. Bubble laughs. Saw and Tennis Ball keep trying to cover themselves.]
 * Saw: Tennis Ball!
 * Tennis Ball: Yeah?
 * Saw: [Scene cuts to the outside of Goiky.] We should have bought the whoopee cushion! [Saw lets out a crying yell as the episode ends. A person wolf whistles in cheers.]