Winners of Justice

[The episode starts at the lake at Tall Timbers Park, where Winner and Loser are visiting their fish friends.] Winner: "Hey, Mrs. Fishman. Didn't we talk about you staying off your feet until the babies are born? You should be relaxing, in your new kelp bed!" [Gives the Fishmans said kelp bed, and then remembers something.] "Oh, almost forgot, gotta update my sign." [Goes over to said sign, that reads 'Fishmans sea population 2'.] "'Fishmans sea population...'" [realizes] "Wait, how many little ones are you having again?" [The Fishmans submerge, and Winner looks into the water to count their eggs, but decides on something else.] "Uh, let's just round it off to a hundred." [using her slimy finger as a pen] "So that makes, a hundred and two. Goiky is a great place for big families. You guys are gonna be really happy here." ''[Just then, a bulldozer comes by and it splashes Winner and Loser in the water. Winner turns around and sees the bulldozer.]'' Winner: [stern] "Hey! What's your problem, pal?!" Worker: "Beat it, kid. This land got sold to The Mustard Warehouse. They're building a new store here. I got orders to fill in this sea today." Winner: "You can't do that! This is the Fishmans' home." Worker: "Look, if they got a problem, they can call a lawyer." Winner: "They can't use the phone." [The Fishmans look sad.] Worker: [laughs] "Aww, come on, kid. No one cares about a couple of fish. Put 'em in a tank or something." Winner: "If I move the parents, I'd have to move their eggs, and they could die." Worker: "What can I tell ya, kid? There's plenty of other fish in the sea." [chuckles] "Now move." [goes back to his bulldozer.] Winner: [starts to get worried then gets an idea.] "Wait, buddy! Your shoe's untied!" Worker: "Huh?" [sees that his shoe really is untied.] "Oh, yeah." [starts to tie his shoe.] Winner: [to Loser] "Loser, bolt removal." [Loser snags the bolts with his tongue, and spins himself to undo the bolts.] Worker: "Under, around, and through. Meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull, and through." [gets back on his bulldozer, only for it to fall apart.] "Oh, for crying into your pub cheese soup!" [growls] "I'll deal with this tomorrow." [leaves] Winner: "Good job, Loser. That'll buy us a little time to figure out a plan." ''[gives a thumbs up to the Fishmans. Just then, Loser lets out a burp.]'' "Loser, diesel breath." [Winner wafts away Loser' burp.]

''[The Hotel. Slimy footprints are seen on the walkway and into the entrance. Winner walks into the kitchen, still covered in water. Four and X take notice of this.]'' Four: [stern] "Winner, slimy shoes!" X: [also stern] "And pants, and shirt, and hat!" Winner: "No time to change, I've got a crisis on my hands." ''[X puts oven mitts on Four's hands, then takes out a garbage bag. They walk over and Four puts Winner in the bag and sets her down while they're conversing.]'' Winner: "The Fishmans are getting kicked out of their home." X: "Have they tried calling a lawyer?" Winner: "They're fish! And they live in the sea at Tall Timbers Park, but now some jerks wanna pave paradise and-" Avocado: [Walks into the kitchen and cuts Winner off.] "Put up a parking lot?" Winner: "No, a mustard warehouse." Avocado: [Taking a box of apple juice out of the fridge.] "Well, the mustard warehouse probably will have a parking lot." [Winner rolls her eyes, and Avocado leaves.] Winner: "I can't just stand by and watch this happen!" Four: "X, I think we may have a little activist in our hands." X: "You know, we might be able to help, hon. Your mother and I were quite the activists in our day. We rallied for a ton of good causes." Four: "Equal pay for women, reduction in carbon emissions." X: "The freedom to wear puka shell chokers in the workplace, you know, all the big stuff." Winner: "Great. So, what do I need to do?" Four: "Well, I think your best bet would be to draw up a petition." Winner: "Okay, cool." [Realizing that she has no idea what a petition is.] "What's a petition?" X: "Well, you go door to door collecting as many signatures as you can, you'll also need phone numbers, home addresses, and emails." [Just hearing that exhausts Winner.] Four: "You'll need the signatures of half of the people in town, which would be about, mmh, ten thousand." Winner: "Ten thousand? Is that even a real number?" [her parents nod] "Okay, fine. And then the construction will stop?" X: "No. It'll just be delayed while they call a public hearing." Four: "Now, at the hearing, there has to be... " [Just then, a trumpet playing dubs over her and X's voices, which is kinda similar to what you hear when the adults in Peanuts are talking, which exhausts Winner even more.]

[Later, in the upstairs hallway, Winner hops up the stairs, still in the bag.] Winner: "Boy, ten thousand signatures? This is gonna be a long day. Loser, we better pee before we go." [She hops into the bathroom, where Price Tag, who is fixing her eyebrows, sees Winner's reflection in the mirror, and freaks out.] Price Tag: "Aah! Monster!" Winner: [Not realizing that Price Tag means her.] "Cool, where?" [Price Tag runs past Winner and out of the bathroom, screaming, and runs right into Avocado & 9-Ball's bedroom door, and continues screaming as she runs into her own and Leek's bedroom door, then ITRD & Kitchen Sink's, then down the stairs, and stops screaming when she runs into something, again.] Price Tag: "I'm never going in that bathroom again!" [Winner hops up onto the step ladder to take a look at her own reflection.] Winner: [Getting an idea] "You know, Loser, maybe there's an easier way to save the Fishmans." [Loser says something] "You're right, we should still pee anyway." [Loser over to the toilet, and Loser, using his tongue, closes the door for her.] ''[Later, she grabs a helmet out of the attic, has Loser snag a white sheet from Anchor's experiment, which reveals that Anchor was working on a real monster, afterwards, Winner and Loser are in the woods, Loser rallying together his forest friends, who all raise their various appendages, ready to rescue the Fishmans. Later, the construction worker from the previous day is finishing the repairs on the bulldozer, he starts to climb in, but looks when he hears splashing, he doesn't see anything so he climbs into the dozer and starts it up, when suddenly, something jumps onto his hood, a sea monster it seems to be, the monster growls at the worker.]'' Worker: "Aah! Cheese and rice!" ''[He keeps screaming as he puts the bulldozer in reverse, which causes the monster to fall off, but the bulldozer falls in a hole, the worker climbs out and the monster continues growling. The worker pulls out his phone and takes a picture.]'' "They're never gonna believe me! I'm outta here!" [Runs for it.] [Once he's out of sight, the monster is revealed to be Winner, Loser, and all their forest friends, the Fishmans come out of the water with glee, and wink at them.]

[Later, Winner returns home where Four, Price Tag and X are watching the news, Four calls her attention.] Four: "Hey, honey, come check this out. They're talking about your sea." Two: "Two coming to you live from Tall Timbers Park. I'm here with the construction worker who claims to have seen an alleged sea monster." Worker: "That's right, Two. Had to be twenty feet tall, couple hundred pounds, paws like a bunch of bananas. See for yourself." [shows the picture] "He came at me with everything he had." Two: "And is that when you ran away screaming?" Worker: "Wha-? Who told you that? Was it the monster?" Two: "Uh huh, uh huh. I'm getting word that in light of this incident, the mustard warehouse has decided to build its new store in another location." Winner: [joyful] "Yeah!" [laughs] X: "Looks like you lucked out, kiddo." Four: "Even though you didn't need it, we're proud you were willing to put in the effort with that petition." Winner: "The what now?" [realizes] "Oh, right, the petition. Yeah, I was so close to getting those ten thousand signatures." [smiles sheepishly] Price Tag: "Ten thousand? Is that even a real number?" Winner: "Apparently." Price Tag: "Well, I'm just glad that sea monster isn't in our bathroom anymore." Four & X: "That's terrific, sweetie."

[Winner and Loser return to Tall Timbers Park.] Winner: "Well, Loser, the Fishmans are gonna be pretty happy to see ol' Lans. Not to boast, but I did save their-" [gasps] [To Winner's surprise, it is shown that the sea is surrounded with people and the news crew, waiting to see the "sea monster" again.] Man: "Here, monster, monster." Girl: "I need a selfie with the monster." [Announcer is also running a stand as well, selling "official", (and probably counterfeit), sea monster shirts.] Announcer: "Get your sea monster tees! One for $4, three for $15!" Winner: [approaches Two] "What's going on?" Two: "Two coming to you live from Tall Timbers Park. It appears the alleged sea monster has turned this once sleepy hamlet into a hotbed of media attention." Winner: [turns confused for a second, then realizes...] "Oh, you're talking to me." Two: "Yes, I am. And can you please move? Because we need to set up our broadcasting tent." [Her crew sets up the tent, one member kneels a foot in the water while tying down the guide wires.] Winner: [To the aforementioned crew member.] "Be careful, there are delicate fish eggs over here," [shoves the crew member out of the sea.] "they need peace and quiet." [Just then, the news chopper hovers in, flabbergasting Winner.] "How long is this whole 'media hot sauce' thing gonna last?!" Two: "Until the sea monster decides to pack up and leave. Two will be bringing you all the action, twenty-four seven, I'm Two." [Two leaves, and Winner gets an idea.] Winner: "Hmm, 'pack up and leave', you say?" [Grins menacingly]

''[Later, at Short Shrub Creek, many people are lollygagging around, minding their own business, not expecting anything unusual to happen. Winner, along with Loser and their forest friends, are in their sea monster costume, hiding in the creek.]'' Winner: "Okay, gang, I feel kinda bad about scaring all these people, but we gotta do it for the Fishmans." ''[They dawn the costume and sink into the water. Meanwhile, an innocent Price Tag and Naily are having a picnic by the shore, unaware that they are about to have an unexpected visitor.]'' Naily: [To Price Tag] "So, I brought the ham and cheese. Did you bring the baguette?" Price Tag: "I'm sorry, I didn't know what that was, so I just got bread." ''[Price Tag pulls said bread out of the basket, which actually is a baguette, when suddenly, the sea monster rises from the creek, growling, the girls freak out and join the other people at the creek in making a run for it. Everybody runs away, except Price Tag, who runs screaming into a tree, and then runs screaming into another tree, and another before finally dropping to the ground.]

[Back at Tall Timbers] Two: "Listen up, team, this is Two with breaking news." News Crew Member: "Two, we know your name." Two: "The sea monster has been spotted at Short Shrub Creek. This is Two saying, let's get over there!" [Everybody takes off, except Announcer, who had raised his P rices to five dollars a shirt, and three shirts for twenty.] Announcer: "Anyone wanna give Announcer a lift?! I'll give you a discount on a t-shirt, six bucks." [The Fishmans look at this scene and Winner emerges from the lake.] Winner: "Fish fam, great news. I got those noisy TV people out of here so you can raise your babies in peace!"

[Later back at home, Winner and Loser are on the couch seeing the news about the Lake on TV.] Two: "This is Two coming to you live from Short Shrub Creek, where the sea monster has recently relocated." Winner: [To Loser] "Thanks to us." [Up tops with Loser] Two: "That's bad news for the mustard warehouse, because Short Shrub Creek was going to be the site of their new store." Winner: [Unable to believe her ears] "Wait, it was?" Two: "The good news is, now that Tall Timbers Park is sea monster free, they'll be able to move back there, construction starts tomorrow. I'm Two." Winner: [Gasps] "Loser, What have we done?! They’re going right back to the Fishmans!" [Winner sadly walks into her room towards her bed.] "Oh Loser, I should’ve listened to Mom and Dad and done things the right way." [Pulls out her phone to look at a selfie she took with the Fishmans, and notices the time.] "We still have time before they turn the Fishmans' home into mustard, maybe we can still do this."

[Later, there is a knock on Mr. Pirie's door, he opens it to find Winner.] Winner: "Hi, Mr. Pirie, I'm collecting signatures to stop the mustard warehouse from destroying the Fishmans' home." Mr. Pirie: "Uh, did the Fishmans try calling a lawyer?" Winner: [Showing Mr. Pirie the selfie.] "They're fish!" Mr. Pirie: "Well, mustard gives me the toots, so I'll sign. Winner: [During a montage of her collecting more signatures.] "A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you." [Eventually, she returns home where all her siblings were watching TV with their parents.] Four: "There you are, honey. We heard from that reporter what's-her-name that they're back to paving your park again." Winner: "I know. I was out trying to get those ten thousand signatures to stop them." X: "How'd it go?" Winner: "Not great. I came up about ten million short." Four: [hugs Winner] "I'm really sorry, sweetie, but you did everything you could." Winner: Well, no, I actually didn't. I tried to take a shortcut and made things worse, and by the time I decided to do it the right way, I was too late." X: "Well, we're still proud that you stood up for what you believed in." Winner: "Yeah, but that doesn't do much for the Fishmans. They're still going to lose their home." ''[collapses on the floor and the selfie falls to the ground. Anchor takes notice of this and looks at the picture.]'' Anchor: "Wait a proverbial ding dang moment." Winner: [threateningly] "Anchor, if you tell me to call a lawyer, I'm going to-" Anchor: "No, no, no. You don't need a lawyer or signatures. The 'Fishmans', as you so charmingly refer to them, are actually Acipenser Fulvenscens. Street name: lake sturgeon." Price Tag: "The Fishmans are doctors?" Anchor: [sighs] "Not 'surgeon', Price Tag, 'sturgeon'. Which are endangered and therefore protected." Winner: [gets up] "Wait, are you saying-" Anchor: "That nobody can touch their habitat. It's a federal law." Winner: [joyful] "Y-e-e-es!" Anchor: "As you may recall, in 1973, Congress passed..." ''[Just then, the trumpet from before can be heard playing again, dubbing over Anchor's voice, and Winner turns exhausted again. Camera zooms out to show that Avocado was actually playing the trumpet over what Anchor's saying on the stairs and Anchor takes notice of this.]'' "Avocado, I'm trying to speak here."

[And so, at the Fishman's sea, which is now in federal protection.] Winner: "See that, Fishmans? You are now federally protected, which means no one can mess with your home." [Several fish babies swim up to their parents.] Winner: "Fish babies! Aunt Winner and Uncle Loser are here to babysit! You guys enjoy yourselves. A-thank you." [She walks into the sea.] [Just then, Price Tag and Naily arrive to have a redo of their picnic.] Price Tag: "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Naily: "Oh, Price Tag, come on. W--what's-her-name from the news said there hasn't been a sea monster sighting in days!" Price Tag: "Okay, I guess." [They sit down to have their picnic, when suddenly they hear something coming from the sea, Winner and Loser, who are both covered in water, come out of the sea, Winner spitting out water from her mouth, but Price Tag and Naily, thinking it's the sea monster again, freak out and run off, with Price Tag hitting the trees offscreen as she grunts in pain each time she hits one while Winner remains in the sea, confused.]