Pranks A Lot (Rosemary Hills Style)

Script:

 * [Penny and Katie walk up to the Palace of Pranks.]
 * Penny: Well, Katie, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop in Rosemary-Land. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag... [the scene shows a close up of the can of Seanut Brittle.] seanut brittle can.
 * Katie: Oh, boy, Seanut Brittle. Gimmie!
 * [Katie tries to open the can.]
 * Penny: Katie, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?
 * Katie: Nice try, SquarePants, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Seanut Brittle! [opens the can and purple tubes pop out of the can] Where's the Seanut Brittle?
 * Penny: [laughs] That gets funnier every time you say it, Katie. Come on, let's go inside.
 * [Penny walks off screen.]
 * Katie: [starting to cry] Seanut Brittle?
 * [Penny enters the Palace of Pranks and smells the air.]
 * Penny: Ah! [Katie enters the scene] Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. [an aisle is shown] Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! [walks down an aisle] Isn't it everything I said it would be, Katie?
 * Katie: [in another aisle] Hey, Seanut Brittle! [purple tubes appear popping above the aisle that Katie is in] Oh, darn it, not again!
 * [The scene only shows Penny in his aisle. Penny laughs. An old fish named John enters the scene.]
 * John: Good to see you, Penny. How's my number one customer doing?
 * Penny: Great, John. This is my friend Katie. He wants to become a prankster, too.
 * John: [walks up to Katie] Well, pleasure to meet you, Katie. [shakes Katie's hand, but John has a joy buzzer, so it shocks Katie. Katie screams and sucks on his hand. John laughs.] That's your first lesson, son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer.
 * Katie: I don't get it.
 * John: You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.
 * Penny: You see, Katie, John here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him. [he and Katie walk to the checkout counter and John is behind it.] Okay, John, let's see what you've got.
 * John: Well, this came in just this morning. [shows a package of gum] Have some gum. [Katie chews the gum but then he screams as his head explodes] Ha! Exploding chewing gum. Only $9.95.
 * Katie: [His head is gone, leaving a neck bone in the shape of a femur and he talks muffled] I don't get it.
 * Penny: [takes out a dollar.] What can we get for one dollar?
 * John: One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar-- [takes out a fake dollar] fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.
 * Penny: What else have you got?
 * [John holds up a whoopee cushion.]
 * John: A whoopee cushion.
 * Penny: Nah.
 * [John holds up fake vomit.]
 * John: Fake vomit.
 * Penny: No.
 * [Part of the counter is covered in real vomit.]
 * John: Real vomit?
 * Penny: Eww! Don't you have anything good?
 * John: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster. [shows close up of a spray can] Invisible Spray!
 * Penny: Wow, invisible spray!
 * Katie: But I can see it.
 * Penny: Gee, Katie, just think of the pranks we could pull with this.
 * [Penny gives John some money.]
 * John: Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.
 * Penny: Thanks, John. [he and Katie walk off-screen. The scene changes to show Penny and Katie outside.] Here it is, Katie. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray.
 * Katie: What are we gonna do with it?
 * Penny: I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair.
 * [They both think about sitting on an invisible bench, surrounded by Charlie, Benny, Max, Amaya, Toborr, and Kerry.]
 * Charlie (The Boy Who Cried Wolf): They're floating in midair!
 * Max: How do they do that?
 * [The thought bubble disappears.]
 * Katie: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, Penny!
 * [Katie gives Penny a thumbs up.]
 * Penny: Well, let's get started.
 * [Katie takes off his shorts.]
 * Katie: Okay, I'm ready.
 * [Katie drops his pants on the ground.]
 * Penny: Any particular reason you took your pants off?
 * Katie: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?
 * Penny: That it does, Katie, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second. [Katie takes the can of spray while Penny takes off his pants. Katie hugs the can.] Okay, Katie, give me the can.
 * Katie: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.
 * Penny: Katie, spraying the park bench was my idea.
 * Katie: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!
 * Penny: Give me that thing.
 * [Penny grabs the can and he and Katie wrestle over it. Penny accidentally sprays their clothes and they disappear]
 * Katie: Hey, the invisible spray works!
 * [A tour bus drives up.]
 * Benny: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!
 * [The passengers laugh and Benny laugh. The bus drives off. Penny covers his lower half]
 * Penny: Oh my gosh, Katie, help me find our clothes!
 * [Penny pats the ground, trying to grab the clothes. Katie sprays Penny's right hand and it disappears]
 * Katie: I gotta hand it to you, Penny. You look kinda funny.
 * [Katie laughs and Penny screams.]
 * Penny: Righty, where are you? [Katie laughs again.] No one messes with Righty! [takes the spray can with his invisible hand.] We'll see how you like it! [sprays Katie making a hole in the middle of his body] Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
 * [Katie takes the can.]
 * Katie: Yeah. [He sprays Penny's upper left corner.] I see what you mean.
 * [Penny takes the spray can and sprays Katie's lower half.]
 * Penny: No guts, no glory! [laughs]
 * French Narrator: Several bad puns later...
 * [The scene returns to Penny and Katie, who are now invisible. Katie shakes the can.]
 * Katie: Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.
 * [Penny grabs the can and shakes it.]
 * Penny: Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Katie. You used the last of it.
 * [Penny throws the can far away.]
 * Katie: Hey, I think I found our pants. [a ripping noise is heard] Oops! Here, these are yours.
 * Penny: Oh, forget the pants, Katie. Let's get home and wash this paint off.
 * [Penny and Katie walk off somewhere.]
 * Katie: Hey, Penny, do you know what time it is?
 * Penny: Oh sure, it's... half past invisible.
 * Katie: Gee, it's getting late.
 * [They walk up behind Charlie.]
 * Penny: Let's ask this guy. Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?
 * Charlie (The Boy Who Cried Wolf): Sure. [looks at his watch] It's, uh, ten to three.
 * Penny: Thank you.
 * Charlie (The Boy Who Cried Wolf): Don't mention it.
 * [Charlie turns around to notice there is seemingly no one there.]
 * Katie: Don't mention what?
 * Charlie (The Boy Who Cried Wolf): Uh, who said that?
 * Katie: Me.
 * Charlie (The Boy Who Cried Wolf): [screams] Ghosts!
 * [Charlie runs away from them; his eyes pop out. His eyes scream, jump into a car and drive away.]
 * Katie: Hey, I'm no ghost! Well, the nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs!
 * Penny: Wait a second, Katie, my brain just hatched an idea.
 * Katie: Lay it on me.
 * Penny: Okay, we're invisible, right?
 * Katie: Yeah.
 * Penny: If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody in Rosemary-Land. Oh, it's the ultimate prank.
 * Penny and Katie: Whoo! High five!
 * [They give each other a high five]
 * Penny: Let's go scare us some suckers!
 * [The scene changes to show Emmy's treedome. The scene then shows her reading a book in a rocking chair in her tree. She hears a noise, which is Penny and Katie's laughter. She checks to see what it is, but there is supposedly nothing there. She gets up and goes to her window.]
 * Emmy: Huh? [the outside of her tree is shown] Well, that's funny, I thought I heard voices. Huh? [walks up to a glass of juice on the floor] I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. [walks over to a table with a lamp covered in garbage] And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Katie?
 * [Photos of Katie are on the walls and tables, and the rug has his face on it. Emmy turns around and sees Penny and Katie covered in white sheets over their heads as they wail.]
 * Penny and Katie: We're ghosts.
 * [Penny and Katie wail again. Emmy laughs.]
 * Emmy: I knew it was you guys! Alright, the joke's over. Take off the sheets. [pulls off the sheets and notices there is nothing there, then gasps] It is ghosts!
 * [Emmy screams. She takes out a remote with a large red button. She pressed the button and an escape pod that is in the shape of an acorn appears out of some panels. She enters the escape pod and presses a button. The escape pod flies out of her dome, above the water, past Rosemary-Land island, and lands in Texas. The escape pod explodes in Texas. Penny and Katie leave Emmy's house, laughing.]
 * Penny: Boy, we really scared her!
 * [Penny and Katie laugh.]
 * Katie: Who's gonna be our next victim?
 * Penny: A better question would be, "Who isn't?"
 * [The scene changes to show Jerome's house, where she is preparing to eat a piece of cake.]
 * Jerome: Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! [laughs] You will soon be mine. [Katie and possibly Penny eats/eat the cake, making it look like ghosts have eaten it. Katie's face is covered in cake. He belches loudly and wipes it off.] Oh! [gets filled up with air and then lets it out flying all around] Ghosts!
 * [Her deflated body lands on the table. The scene changes to show Willis Carter painting and humming to himself at his house. Penny and/or Katie takes the paintbrush, making it look like it is floating in mid air.]
 * Willis Carter: Huh?
 * [Penny and/or Katie paint(s) a mustache under Willis Carter's nose. The two wail ghostly. Willis Carter crashes through the wall and runs away.]
 * Willis Carter: Ghosts!
 * [The scene changes to show Jacob surfing at Goo Lagoon. Penny and Katie surf up to Jacob, making it look like a surfboard is on a wave by itself.]
 * Penny and Katie: [Speaking in ghostly voices] Cowabunga!
 * Jacob: Ghosts!
 * [Jacob screams while falling off the board.]
 * [Frostina appears waving her arms wildly.]
 * Frostina: Ghosts!
 * [Zora appears with his eyes bugging out of his head.]
 * Zora: Ghosts!
 * [Leo appears, scared with arms on his head.]
 * Leo: Ghosts!
 * [Kat appears in a sort of screaming position.]
 * Kat: Ghosts!
 * [Olivia appears holding a piece of toast.]
 * Olivia: Toast.
 * [Jill Wayland appears sitting on the toilet, appearing freaked out.]
 * Jill Wayland: Ghosts!
 * [Penny and Katie are reading newspapers. Penny laughs.]
 * Penny: It's official: we're the greatest pranksters ever. The whole town thinks we're ghosts.
 * [Katie is holding his newspaper upside down]
 * Katie: Yeah.
 * Penny: There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody in Rosemary-Land-- [An article is shown it reads, "Samson Last To Be Haunted! says, 'I ain't afraid of no ghosts'"] Samson.
 * [The same article is shown on Katie's paper, but it is upside down.]
 * Katie: It says he isn't scared of ghosts.
 * [Penny is "shown"]
 * Penny: We'll see about that!
 * [The scene changes to show the Blacksmith Mansion at night. Samson peers out of the blinds.]
 * Samson: Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts! Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief... [grabs a handkerchief] And his dried-up sea leprechaun. [shows ashes of the sea leprechaun] And a bit of gold never hurt. [shows a gold necklace around Samson neck that reads, "Foxy"] But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot, [his underwear is strung up with rope] got me shivering timber brace, [shows his ankles chained together] and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down. [a strip of duct tape covers the hair. Samson is shown wearing a barrel and a headpiece with lanterns hung on it.] And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor. And if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector! [holds up a paddle ball] So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on.
 * [The lights black turn off. Penny and Katie wail ghostly.]
 * Penny and Katie: [As they open the front door] Samson!
 * Samson: Wha?
 * [Penny and Katie toss over a table and barrel. They pick up a barrel and a table to make it look like they are floating.]
 * Penny: Samson, we've come to haunt you.
 * [Samson uses the specter detector (paddle ball) by bouncing the stringed ball back and forth from the paddle board.]
 * Samson: Stay back, I'm well-armed!
 * [Penny and Katie moan ghostly. Penny and Katie walk by with a barrel, making it look like it is floating by. Samson hits the ball faster.]
 * Samson: I'm warning ya!
 * [Penny and Katie moan. Penny or Katie stops the ball. Penny or Katie then cuts the string.]
 * Samson: [shivering] Ooh!
 * Penny and Katie: [quietly] Boo.
 * [Samson breaks out of his armor and screams.]
 * Samson: I gotta get out of here!
 * [He runs to the doors, but they don't open.]
 * Penny: You can't escape, Samson. We've glued the door shut.
 * [The door is held closed with a long strip of glue. The scene shows the side of the Blacksmith Mansion.]
 * Samson: [off-screen] You'll never get me!
 * [Samson tries to break through the window, but instead of shattering, the window stretches like elastic and slingshots him backwards, and he crashes into a table]
 * Katie: Nice try, Samson, but we replaced all the glass with rubber!
 * [Samson dives into the toilet, but gets stuck. He pulls himself out and sits on the floor, dazed]
 * Penny: Too late, Samson, we've already clogged all the toilets. [The toilet is stuffed with toilet paper. Samson cowers in a corner.]
 * Samson: Please, spirits, leave me be.
 * [Katie laughs.]
 * Katie: [while Samson is incoherently begging for his life] We got him good, Penny.
 * Penny: [while Samson is incoherently begging for his life] Wait, Katie, I've got one more idea. [to Samson] You're going to pay, Samson.
 * Samson: [shaking with fear] No, spirits, please!
 * Penny: Pay!
 * [a dollar floats in the air]
 * Samson: No!
 * Penny: [high-pitched] Pay! [lights a match]
 * Samson: No! Don't burn me for a dollar! [grabs a bucket of water and throws it at the dollar. The water drips on Penny and Katie, making them reappear. They laugh, not noticing they're visible.] Well, well, well, if it isn't Penny and Katie.
 * Penny: [wiggling his arms and legs like a ghost] I know not these names of which you speak.
 * [Katie looks down and notices that he is visible.]
 * Katie: Uh, Penny. Penny, we're visible again. [Penny looks down, then he and Katie scream and cover their lower halves. Samson lifts them up by the back of their necks as they try to run.]
 * Samson: So you two are the Rosemary-Land ghosts.
 * Penny: We're really sorry, Samson. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em.
 * [Samson puts them down.]
 * Samson: Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me. [they all laugh.] Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?
 * Penny: Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.
 * [Samson laughs]
 * Samson: Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.
 * Penny: Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.
 * Katie: Me too.
 * Samson: Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.
 * Penny: Samson, thanks for being such a good sport.
 * Samson: [off-screen] Don't mention it.
 * [Penny and Katie walk into the dining area.]
 * Penny: That Samson, always looking out for me. What a guy.
 * Katie: Yeah.
 * [A white, round light shines on Penny and Katie. The scene pans out to show a crowd of people consisting of: Benny, Jacob, Jerome, Emmy, Willis Carter, Amaya, Jill Wayland, Kathy, the red shirt John, Milly, Paula Schaeffer, Charlie, Sonya, Purple Tricia, Wendy, Morton, the mummy's daughter, two Pamelas, Mina, and Monica.]
 * Samson: The Blacksmith Mansion presents... live nude pranksters! [He is shown shining the light on them from the crow's nest] Starring the Rosemary-Land Ghosts!
 * [Charlie, Paula Schaeffer, Jill Wayland, Morton, Millie Jacobs, and John are shown cheering. Penny and Katie scream while trying to cover themselves up. Samson laughs teasingly. Emmy whistles at them as Jerome takes a picture. Willis Carter laughs. Penny and Katie keep trying to cover themselves.]
 * Penny: Katie!
 * Katie: Yeah?
 * Penny: [Scene cuts to the outside of the Blacksmith Mansion] We should have bought the whoopee cushion! [Penny lets out a crying yell as the episode ends. A person wolf whistles in cheers.]