Dark Queen of the Virtue-Land/Transcript

"Queen of Virtue-Land"/Patient's Happy Day:

 * (It's a Beautiful Day in Virtue-Land)
 * (Remedy Flies Down)
 * (Some Greed Jump Around)
 * (Patient Comes By)
 * Patient: "I'm the queen of the jungle, and my world is grand. And I rule my kingdom with an iron hand. From the mountain tops, to the seven seas, there's no human great as me. When the monkey's sleep in the coco tree, I've seen all the cuteness when they keeps awake. To the hippo, warthog, wild hands, the oaf of the kingdom is it makes my lands. I'm queen of Virtue-Land, and the queen of human share. It must be 'cause I'm beautiful, or maybe it's my hair. Oh, yeah, I'm queen of Virtue-Land, and I only want what's fair. Just get outta my way, when I do my thing. By the way, did I tell you I'm the jungle queen?"
 * (Patient Marches Along)
 * Patient: "Well, the old grey elephant is big and strong, the giraffe is taller, 'cause his neck is long. And there's no one smarter than the chimpanzee, but the whole wide world is in love with me. I'm queen of Virtue-Land, and the queen of human share. It must be 'cause I'm beautiful, or maybe it's my hair. Oh, yeah, I'm queen of Virtue-Land, and I only want what's fair. Just get outta my way, when I do my thing. By the way, did I mention I'm the jungle queen?" I just love this job.
 * (Scene Fades to the Castle of Virtue-Land)
 * (Patient is Inside Brushing his Hair)
 * Kind: The troops are ready for inspection, Your Majesty.
 * (Patient Looks Angry): Don't rush me, Kind!
 * Kind: Me, sir? No, Your Highness. Oh, you're wrong, sir. I wasn't rushing you.
 * Patient: And don't contradict me!
 * Kind: Oh, no, sir, wrong again. I wasn't contradicting you. I mean, you're right, I was, but I won't-- never again. Unless you want me to.
 * (Kind Knocks Into the Sock Drawer)
 * Patient: Oh, Kind, you clumsy!
 * Kind: I'm a clumsy man, that's me. I'm all hands. You are to execute me, sir, fire me. No, no. Execute then fire me. I almost broke this picture of you and your brother.
 * Patient: Give me that! How many times did I tell you? I have no brother.
 * (A Picture of Patient and Impatient)
 * Kind: Oh, sure you do, Your Majesty. You remember Impatient? Your own twin.
 * (Patient Growls Angrily): Are you contradicting again?!
 * Kind: Right. No brother. Only child. That's you.
 * Patient: It was Impatient who abandoned the family you recall. It was he who chose to stop talking to me. I haven't seen him since we were 7 years older.
 * (Patient Puts the Picture in the Drawer)
 * Patient: Now he spends his time with his precious Virtue. Yuck! He's no brother of mine! And you'll never mention his name again, will you, Kind?
 * Kind: No, sir. Not me. Uh-uh. Never.
 * Patient: If you do, I'll fire you, execute you, and-- (Thinks) then fire you again!
 * Kind: Oh, no problem. Don't worry. These lips will never utter a single word about-- What's his name?
 * Patient: Good man, Kind.
 * (Patient Pushes Kind Out of his Room)
 * (Patient Then Takes the Picture from the Drawer)
 * Patient: Oh, Impatient, how come I turned out so well, while you ended up so you?
 * (He Puts the Picture Back in the Drawer)
 * (Remedy Flies By and Impatient Sees it)
 * Impatient: Come back, Remedy. I'm not finished.
 * (Impatient Walks Up to Remedy and Sits Down)
 * Impatient: These things take time, you know. And as much as I like drawing you, Remedy, my illustrating companion with Virtue life will contain 4,000 species. Which leads me 3,999 to go. Yes, I should learn to work faster, but that means I'd finish up sooner. Then what would I do?
 * (Impatient Starts Drawing)
 * Impatient: Sounds like, perhaps, I should work slower. Oh, life, so many decisions to make.

Black Hole, and Unity, Patient's Advisors:

 * (Scene Cuts to the Castle)
 * Patient (Off-Screen): So very many decisions. (On-Screen) I look best in red, but I'm banishing citizens to exile while blue goes well with prison sentences. Blue, I guess. It sets off my eyes.
 * (Patient Puts on his Blue Robe)
 * (Scene Fades to the Queen's Throne)
 * Black Hole: Make way for the queen!
 * Kind: Make way for the queen.
 * (Patient Comes By)
 * Patient: Nice chicken.
 * Kind: I'm a parrot.
 * Unity: Oh, Kind. We could find out.
 * (Patient Sneezes)
 * Black Hole: Bless you.
 * Kind: Gesundheit.
 * Patient: W-W-What are those flowers?
 * Black Hole: Orchites, Your Highness.
 * Patient: Is this Thursday?
 * Unity: Indeed it is.
 * Kind: Then why do all the calendars say Tuesday?
 * Unity: Quiet, Kind.
 * (Patient Tries to Hold in his Sneeze)
 * Patient: On Thursdays, I'm allergic to orchites.
 * (Patient Sneezes)
 * Unity: Yes, a loath some species anyway.
 * Patient: I wish never to see another one!
 * Black Hole: Ordinates 12,746. All orchites to be removed from the country.
 * Unity: Perhaps we can replace them with begonias.
 * (Patient Shakes his Head "No")
 * Patient: Petunias.
 * Kind: Gesundheit.
 * (Black Hole Claps her Hand on Kind's Beak)
 * Black Hole: Petunias.
 * Kind: Oops.
 * Patient: Excellent choice.
 * (Patient Snaps his Fingers)
 * (Chance Comes By with a Mirror)
 * Patient: Oh, what a handsome boy. There should a law of anyone looking so good.
 * Unity: There is, Sire. Ordinates 8,492. No one shall look as good as the queen.
 * Patient: Why, this thing's too small. There more me than mirror.
 * Black Hole: Oh, dreadful terrible sight on our part. We should've ordered larger mirrors.
 * (Patient Looks Firmly at his Reflection)
 * Patient: I'll do all them.
 * Black Hole: Consider it done. You mustn't bow, nitwit.
 * Kind: Nitwit! Nitwit!
 * Patient: What?!
 * (Black Hole Laughs Nervously): He was imploring to me, Majesty. About my failure to coordinate mirror wit with your chest size.
 * (Patient Pets Kind's Head)
 * Patient: Yes, well, don't be too hard on him. Everyone makes mistakes. Except me.
 * (Patient Leaves)
 * Black Hole: Why do you insist on repeating Unity' words in most inopportune times?
 * Kind: Hey, I'm a bird. I repeat things. You don't like it? Get a goldfish.

Townspeople/Charity's Unhappiness:

 * (Patient Walks to the Balcony)
 * Kind: Look at them, Majesty. The pride of the kingdom. There's no army like it in the world.
 * Black Hole: On that point, we'll have to agree.
 * (Chance and his Herd March, Until Chance's Herd Crashes Into Chance)
 * (The Townspeople Freak Out)
 * Patient: Hmm. Should I have my knuckles waxed?
 * Kind: Take them on the front line! You, Chance, pull back! And you, Greed, pick up the pace, now!
 * Patient: I mean, I have a beautiful face, but I just don't know if I needed all my knuckles.
 * (Townspeople Boo at Patient)
 * Patient: What's all the racket? Why can't I hear myself think about myself?
 * Black Hole: Oh, it's our fault, Your Majesty. They're angry because I don't let them see and laugh at you.
 * (Patient Smiles for a Moment, and Looks Down at the Townspeople and Laughs)
 * Patient: It's all right, good subjects. You'll see more of me. (Laughing)
 * (Townspeople Still Boo at Patient)
 * (They Then Throw Food at Patient)
 * (Patient Dodges the Food)
 * Unity: Look at that. They're give you food from their mouths.
 * Patient: Ah, they do love me, don't they?
 * (Patient Tempts to Please Them, but the Crowd Still Boos)
 * Black Hole: They will hit away such insolence when the kingdom is ours.
 * Kind: Heads up! Incoming!
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Dodges)
 * (Kind Laughs)
 * Kind: Missed. You fools couldn't hit the broad side of a--
 * (A Tomato is Thrown at Kind)
 * Black Hole: The pitiful useless brattle. Let them go undisciplined and look what becomes of them.
 * Unity (Off-Screen): He's too easy on them. On a stake, we shall not make.
 * (Black Hole Laughs): We'll teach them respect. It won't be pleasant for them. But they will learn.
 * (Kind Brushes Off the Tomato): Tomato. It's always rotten tomato. They never throw anything nice like-- like cherry pie or anything.
 * Black Hole: Well, they're not your tomatoes at me.
 * (Another Tomato Hits Kind)
 * Kind: You say tomato, I say tomato. I say, people, let's knock it off!
 * (Charity Walks By)
 * Unity: Ah, Charity.
 * Kind: Who are you talking about? Oh. Her. What's so special about her?
 * (Charity Keeps Walking)
 * Unity: I don't like your tone, Kind. When I'm queen, she will be my queen.
 * Patient: Oh, listen to them boo. They can't get enough from me.
 * (Charity Looks Angry)
 * Patient: Hello, citizen. Thank you. Oh, hi, you. Oh, hi there. Hello, hello, and-- Oh, who is that person?
 * Unity: Which, Majesty? Her?
 * Patient (Off-Screen): Her.
 * Unity: Ah, her. I don't know, Your Highness. I've never seen her before. Obviously a tourist, a visitor just passing through.
 * Kind: Ah, Charity. She's a chancellor's queen, and--
 * Patient: Ah, Charity. What do I have scheduled for Saturday?
 * (Unity Checks his Calendar)
 * Unity: Saturday: Uh, 9:00 to 10:00, hair stylist. 10:00 to 11:00, manicure, pedicel. 12:00 to 1:00, banquet, and so on and so forth. And 4:00 to 4:15, meet with your subjects so you can fire them all.
 * Patient: Cancel the subject meeting. I'm getting married.
 * Unity: And who is the lucky girl?
 * Patient: Charity.
 * Kind: Charity.
 * Patient: What he said.
 * Black Hole: I see. Anything that needs to notified in advance? Will you marry her first and then tell her?
 * Patient: Go tell her, Kind.
 * Kind: Right away.
 * (Patient Sighs): Aren't they grand?
 * Unity: It makes the world go round.
 * Humility: There's Queen Patient. Wave so he sees you, Charity. Wave! Wave!
 * Charity: Mother, please!
 * Kind: Yoo-hoo, Your Queenship! Over here!
 * Chastity: Hey, hello, Your Majesty. We're with you, dude. Keep up the good work.
 * Humility: I love the queen. Long live Queen Patient!
 * (Diligence Gasps): Did you hear what she said?
 * Greed: Nature! String her up!
 * Diligence: Make her leave the city!
 * (Humility Walks Over to Diligence Angrily)
 * Diligence: Drive the old baker out of town! Don't encourage her! Drive her out... of... the town.
 * (Kind Comes By)
 * Kind: Excuse me, Miss Charity. But the queen up there, he would like to marry you if you don't mind.
 * Charity: Hmph.
 * Humility: That was a yes. How's this Thursday sound? We couldn't make it tomorrow after the Queen.
 * Kind: He was thinking Saturday.
 * Humility: Saturday? How romantic. I always dreamed my daughter would get married on a Saturday. AM or PM?
 * Charity: Mother, I wouldn't marry him if he was the last person on Earth.
 * Humility: Prenuptial dearest. Everybody gets 'em. Perfectly natural.
 * Charity: I meant every word!
 * Humility: Now, honey, don't talk like that. Why won't a nice girl like you marry a nice queen like him so your family could move into a nice palace and enjoy a nice life for once?
 * Charity: First of all, I don't love him. Secondly, I detest, despise, loathe, and abhor him.
 * Kind: That's no reason not to marry him.
 * Humility: Of course not. Love comes later. Doesn't it, Diligence?
 * Diligence: That's what I hear. It's possible. I know I'm still waiting.
 * Charity: I will marry only for love! I have managed to retain a few principals.
 * Chastity: Oh, yeah, you know principals are cool, (He Rubs his Body Against Charity) but they don't put food on that table. You know what I mean?
 * (Charity Pushes Chastity Away from Her)
 * Charity: General Kind, you may tell the queen I will not marry him Thursday, or Saturday, or any other day in my lifetime.
 * (Kind Looks Stunned)
 * Humility: Oh, she's just a little overwhelmed. You know young girls. She'll come around. Tell the queen we'll see him Saturday. Bye now. Until then, we'll bring it nice.
 * (Humility Leaves)
 * (Kind Still Looks Stunned)

Black Hole and his Henchmen's Plan:

 * (Scene Fades to the Castle)
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Paces Around)
 * Black Hole: That idiot. We have to rearrange all our plans just because he wants to get married.
 * Unity: Black Hole, I hate to be rushed.
 * (Kind Panting): I'm not as young as I used to be. And that hairdo, like you wouldn't believe.
 * Unity: Yes, Kind, fascinating. We'll arrange your salary. Is it done?
 * Kind: Well, it's like this. Hold on. You don't pay me a salary.
 * Black Hole: And you have the nerve to ask us for a raise?
 * Unity: Now answer our question: Has everything been arranged?
 * Kind: Oh, would I fail you, O Mighty Evil Ones? Would I let you down, Masters of Mayhem? Would I--
 * Black Hole: We want answers, Kind!
 * Kind: Sanity will be at the Queen's baiting bun tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM. They will meet the way a man and woman meets with their eyes on the club dance floor.
 * Unity: Queen Patient's capture is the first step to my taking the throne.
 * Kind: And of course you won't forget your friend, Kind. I don't expect much you understand.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Start to Walk Away)
 * Kind: Maybe a nice pushy job in the state department, something where I warm up the work and-- Hey, where are you going?
 * Black Hole: To see Sanity. There are still minor arrangements to be made.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Laughs)
 * (Kind Shudders)
 * Kind: No matter how many times I hear Black Hole and his Henchmen laugh, it still gives me the creeps.
 * (Kind's Knees Knock)

Black Hole and his Henchmen Visits Sanity:

 * (Scene Fades to Sanity's Laboratory)
 * (Guards March in a Parade)
 * Sanity: What's wrong, Black Hole and his Henchmen? Not nervous, are you? A bunch of guards bothering a scientist like me?
 * Black Hole: Oh, no. No, Dr. Not in the least.
 * Sanity: You know what I like to call you?
 * Unity: Uh, what would that be?
 * Sanity: Lunch!
 * (Sanity and Gin Laugh)
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Laughs)
 * (Sanity Laughs)
 * Sanity: But enough pleasant treats. What is it you want from me, Black Hole and his Henchmen?
 * Unity: Oh, no, Sanity. We came to offer you something.
 * Sanity: I hope it's not another bridge. I keep running letters to Brooklyn telling them to send it, but no replies.
 * Unity: No, it's even better. I have a plan to take the throne from Patient. But there may be trouble from General Kind and his soldiers.
 * Sanity: Soldiers? Not if my goons can handle his entire army.
 * Black Hole: Which is why we are here. Your lair, marvelous as it is, is not quite as expensive as Patient.
 * Sanity: But the girl's over here. Va-va-voom. An ocean from floppity. We got miles of it as soon as we get an ocean.
 * Unity: If we could count on you to help neutralize Kind's troops while I assume the throne, we'll push in other territories, Might be seated to you in banks.
 * Sanity: Not a bad proposition. Look, Chance, it's a lot closer to the ocean.
 * Chance: Perhaps Sanity's share could extend to say here.
 * Black Hole: Ah, that could work.

Patient's Big Day/Unity and Purity:

 * (Scene Fades to the Castle)
 * Patient: Oh, I hate waking up! Right. I'm going back to sleep.
 * (Loud Banging)
 * Patient: No-no-no-no-no! I don't wanna get up!
 * Unity: Ah, but you must, Your Majesty.
 * Black Hole: This is Friday. It's the day before your wedding.
 * Unity: You'll want to choose the flowers, be seated to your wedding dance, send invitations, pick the appetizers.
 * (Patient Yawns)
 * Black Hole: You'll want to bathe, so you can get fresh and clean.
 * Unity: Right. As you plan your new wife, Charity.
 * (Patient Yawns): Yes, yes. Of course.
 * (Unity Laughs): Our last warning of playing nursemaids.
 * Black Hole: Oh, we must remember to change the sheets.
 * (They Leave)
 * (A Mankey Swings By)
 * Purity: Oh, four Mankeys and one Smoochum. Don't we have enough to make the zoo happy, Unity?
 * Unity: Purity, if this is all we catch after three months in the jungle, we can kiss our jobs goodbye.
 * (Kind Singing and Dancing)
 * Unity: A dancing parrot?
 * (Unity and Purity Approach Kind)
 * Kind: Time to leave to Queen Patient.
 * (Kind Starts Walking Home, but Unity and Purity Follow Him)
 * (Unity Starts to Attack Kind, but Kind Dodges)
 * (Unity and Purity Start Running Into People)
 * (Kind Squawking)
 * (Unity Panting)
 * Unity: We're going to catch that parrot if we have to chase him all over the continent.
 * (Unity and Purity Run After Kind)
 * (Kind Dances in a Tuxedo)
 * (Unity and Purity Lose their Breaths)
 * Purity: This isn't worth it, Unity. Not for one lousy parrot.
 * Unity: Look. Look, Purity.
 * (Kind is Taking a Bird Bath)
 * Purity (Off-Screen): It's the parrot!
 * Unity (Off-Screen): Shh! You're Making too much noise.
 * Kind: I'm close enough to a queen that an idiot should be able to find him.
 * Unity: He'll here you.
 * (Kind Leaves the Bath, and Unity and Purity Fall in)
 * Unity: Come back here, I say! You have to come back!
 * Purity: Take it easy, Unity. Get a grip on yourself.
 * Unity: No-no-no!
 * Patient (Off-Screen): Oh, boy!
 * Unity: Unity, take the man back to the care. Get the cage.
 * (Patient Yawning)
 * Kind: I think they can handle it from here.
 * (Screen Fades Black)

Unity and Purity Capture Patient:

 * (Patient Takes a Bath, and Finishes Up)
 * (Patient Wraps a Towel Around Him)
 * (Patient Then Lounges in a Chair)
 * Patient: Oh, gosh. I love being the Virtue-Land queen.
 * (Patient Eats Some Grapes Until a Cage Drops Down on Him)
 * Unity: I got him! I got him! Did you see that? (Laughs) Perfect shot! Perfect shot! He's mine! (Laughs) All mine! (Laughs Maniacally)
 * (Patient Looks at the Cage)
 * (Purity and Unity Come By)
 * Patient: Uh, you obviously don't know who I am. I happen to be Queen Patient III. You know him, descendant of Queen Elizabeth II, you know, descendant of Queen Elizabeth the I? You guys aren't from around here, are you? Help me!
 * (Scene Fades to the Castle)
 * Kind (Off-Screen): What are you waiting for? The queen is out of the picture!
 * (Black Hole Walks Around)
 * Kind: Make your move!
 * Black Hole: How many times did I tell you to keep your voice down?
 * (Kind Grunting)
 * Black Hole: How many times did I tell you not to repeat our plans?
 * (Kind Grunting)
 * Black Hole: What good are you to us, Kind? Go on, tell me. Tell what good you are to us.
 * Kind: Well, I-I-I-I'm the--
 * Black Hole: You're the worst, Kind!
 * Kind: The best dance teacher you ever had.
 * (Kind Dances with Black Hole)
 * Black Hole: Yes, you are a good dance teacher. We'll take the throne in the right moment. First we want to see how that fool Kind takes the news that Queen Patient is missing.
 * (Black Hole and Kind Go Get Unity)
 * (Kind is Watching Them)
 * Kind: Maybe I am a fool for not having guessed that Black Hole and his Henchmen was behind the queen's disappearance. But I'm not gonna stand by and watch while they take over the throne.
 * (Kind Walks Into a Pole)
 * Kind: Excuse me.

Kind Finds Impatient:

 * (Some Temper Fly Ahead)
 * Impatient: I know, Temper, I know. I love you, too. But unless you get a little distance between us, I ain't gonna be able to paint you.
 * (Bushes Rustling)
 * Kind: Impatient? Impatient?
 * (Temper Caws and Flies Away)
 * Impatient: No, Temper!
 * Kind: Impatient! Where are you? Impatient, oh, thank goodness I found you.
 * (Hugging Impatient, Kind Picks him Up)
 * Kind: It's me, Kind. What's the matter? Don't you remember me?
 * (Impatient Gasps): Ah, yes, yes, Kind. Of course. You haven't changed a bit.
 * (Kind Puts Impatient Down)
 * Kind: Oh, you haven't, either. Or still the sceptic image of your brother Patient. Wait. Maybe not so, but you do.
 * Impatient: What are you talking about, Kind?
 * Kind: Impatient, your brother needs you.
 * Impatient: He said to tell me that?
 * Kind: Not exactly.
 * Impatient: I thought not.
 * Kind: Please, Impatient.
 * Impatient: Kind, I'm happy here, painting Virtue. Where did I put my brush.
 * Kind: I'm talking about your brother, Impatient. Your brother who punched out the man who tried to steal your lunch with bread.
 * Impatient: Ah, here it is.
 * Kind: Your brother who single handedly fought off three villains who--
 * Impatient: All right. What do you want me to do?
 * Kind: Patient has been kidnapped. You have to pretend to be him, and prevent a cool intellect, until I can bring him back. The whole kingdom needs you, Impatient. If you don't help us, darkness and despair will drop down like an invention clock when Black Hole and his Henchmen takes the throne. Children will become orphans, widows will starve, people will sweep over the land and--
 * Impatient: Kind, no one's gonna believe I'm Patient.
 * Kind: Trust me. By this time I'm through, you won't be able to tell you from Patient or Patient from you.

Charity's Tough Decision:

 * (Meanwhile Back at Home...)
 * (Charity Looks at a Letter)
 * Humility: You just can't ignore royal men for a thousand, Charity. Tell her, Chastity.
 * Chastity: Yes, dear.
 * Charity: Father, do you want me to marry someone I don't love?
 * Chastity: Of course not, Charity. I want you to follow your heart. I want you to--
 * (Humility Looks Firmly at Chastity)
 * Chastity: Could someone pass the sauce? Delicious soup, dear.
 * Kind: If Charity won't marry the queen, I will.
 * Humility: So go to the palace tomorrow, talk to him. You'll find he's a nice boy.
 * Charity: Oh, I'll go, Mother, but only to give him a piece of my mind.
 * (Charity Leaves)
 * Humility: That child, so contrary.
 * (Humility Walks to Chastity)
 * Humility: She gets it from you.
 * Chastity: Yes, dear.

Kind Trains Impatient/Impatient Confronts Black Hole and his Henchmen:

 * (Scene Fades to the Palace)
 * Kind (Off-Screen): I'm gonna show you how to act like a queen, eat like a queen, walk like a queen, talk like a queen, and whistle like a queen.
 * Impatient (Off-Screen): Whistle?
 * Kind (Off-Screen): Sorry. I got carried away.
 * (Song Plays as Kind Begins to Dance Around him)
 * Kind: "When you start on a job, that you never did before, that we need a kingdom are going up to war, you've got to be strong, even though you are feeling shy, keep your feet on the ground, and your head up high. When you heat up your way, try to walk a new embrace, or else you will stumble and land upon your face. You've got to stand up, it may try to let you down. Keep your head up high, and your feet on the ground. Remember this dream can serve you anything. If they say you're a fool, but you know you're a queen. On the queen of which here, when you smile and give a wave, just look that you're here, you are fearless, and your brave. You have to believe, and reach up to the sky. Keep your nose in the air, keep your crown on your head, keep your feet on the ground, and your head up high!"
 * (Scene Fades to the Palace)
 * (Unity Laughs): This is turning out better than we'd hoped.
 * Black Hole: Right, Unity. Not only is Patient out of the way, but now Kind is nowhere to be found.
 * Kind: Will he ever recover from the loss?
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Laughs)
 * Black Hole: This is where we say goodbye, Kind.
 * Kind: That's the queen's bedroom.
 * Unity: I thought I'd try in on for size.
 * Kind: Of course, Your Majesty.
 * Unity: Majesty. I do love the sound of that. I think I'll enjoy being--
 * (Impatient Shows Up)
 * Unity: Patient!
 * Impatient: Of course it's, uh, Patient. This is Patient's palace, and Patient's bedroom. Who did you expect but Queen Patient?
 * Unity: But I thought you were--
 * Impatient: Thought I was what, Unity?
 * Unity: I don't understand.
 * (Kind Winks at Impatient)
 * Impatient: What is it you don't understand?
 * Unity: I-- I--
 * Impatient: What I don't understand is why you're bothering me at this hour of the night!
 * Unity: I-- I--
 * Impatient: You need a vocabulary, man.
 * (Impatient Closes the Door)
 * Impatient: Is it over?
 * Kind: It's over.
 * Impatient: How'd I do?
 * Kind: You did great.
 * Impatient: I did great?
 * Kind: Great.
 * Impatient: Great.
 * (Impatient Faints)
 * (Kind Flies By)
 * (Black Hole Grabs Kind)
 * Black Hole: Good evening, my useless, incompetent, brainless little friend.
 * Kind: How dare you call me little?
 * Black Hole: We gave you one task to lead the hunters to Patient, and it was too much for you.
 * Kind: What are you talking about? I saw them with--
 * Black Hole: No excuses! You failed us, bird. The idiot queen is right there in that room, in all his glorious, thickheaded denseness.
 * Kind: But I know they--
 * Black Hole: Quiet! Thanks to you, Unity and I will have to take more drastic steps.
 * (Kind Gulps)

Impatient and Charity's Talk:

 * (Scene Fades to the Palace where it's Morning)
 * (Impatient is Sleeping)
 * Kind: Wake up, Impatient-- I mean Patient. You have a lot of kinging to do.
 * (Impatient Wakes Up)
 * Black Hole: Your Majesty.
 * Impatient: Yes, Black Hole?
 * Black Hole: You have a visitor. Miss Charity is downstairs.
 * Kind: Patient was gonna marry her today.
 * Impatient: I'm gonna marry her today. Right?
 * Black Hole: Yes, Your Majesty, I'm aware of that.
 * Impatient: Of course you are. You're Black Hole. You're supposed to do everything. I was just testing you. Now, leave me alone. I wanna get dressed. Tell Minnie I'll be right there.
 * Black Hole: Charity.
 * Impatient: Her, too.
 * (Impatient Opens the Door, and Nothing's There)
 * Black Hole: The closet, Highness.
 * Impatient: Yes, another test. You're doing very well.
 * Black Hole: The door to your dressing room is over there.
 * Impatient: Uh, yes. Excellent. Yes, well, there may be a raise in your future.
 * (Black Hole Looks Confused)
 * (Scene Fades to Charity Walking Down the Hallway)
 * Charity: What an ego!
 * (Impatient and Kind Walk Down)
 * Charity: Your Majesty.
 * Impatient: She's beautiful.
 * Kind: Shoulders back. Chest out.
 * Impatient: My-my-my-my-my-my-my. You have made your queen happy by accepting his invitation to visit the palace.
 * Charity: You didn't invite me. It was my idea to come.
 * Impatient: Of course. What am I thinking? I-I get confused being queen. Which I am.
 * (Kind Looks Stunned)
 * Impatient: I have a lot on my mind very stressful being a queen. (Clears Throat) Like me. Uh, you know, so many decisions. Like, uh, which country to overrun. Who to behead in that kind of queen stuff.
 * (Charity Gasps): Behead?
 * Impatient: Well, uh, you know, we use dull facts in stuff less painful that way.
 * (Charity Turns her Back on Impatient)
 * Impatient: Actually, we don't really behead them anymore. We just send them to a barber for a trim. And me, personally, I detest barbers.
 * Charity: You won't impress me with lies.
 * Impatient: Kind, she's wonderful.
 * Kind: She is that.
 * Charity: I can see this was a mistake. I'm sure the great Queen Patient has no interest in what I had to say.
 * Impatient: Uh, maybe he doesn't, but I do.
 * Charity: What are you talking about? You are Queen Patient.
 * (Impatient Laughs): Yes, yes, of course I am. What I'm talking about is there are 2 Queen Patients.
 * (Kind Covers his Face)
 * Impatient: I-I-I-I-I-I mean there's-- there's the Queen Patient who's the queen and the warrior, and does all that queen/warrior stuff, and there's the real Queen Patient who's just a normal person who happens to be Queen Patient.
 * Charity: I have no idea what you're talking about.
 * Impatient: That makes two of us.
 * (Impatient Grabs Charity's Hands)
 * Impatient: What I'm trying to tell you is... will you please stay for breakfast?
 * (Charity Covers her Smile)
 * Impatient: Oh, no, no, don't cover your smile. A thing of beauty should never be hidden.
 * Charity: You're not at all what I thought you'd be.
 * Impatient: Oh, that's wonderful. Isn't it? I mean, you probably thought I was mean and selfish, and since I'm not what you thought, I must be something else, right?
 * Kind: I'll tell the kitchen we have a guest for breakfast.

Impatient Shows the Townspeople Happiness/Black Hole and his Henchmen's Plan:

 * (Scene Fades to Unity and Purity Carrying Patient)
 * Unity: This boy will make us both famous.
 * Purity: We came for snakes and monkeys, and look what they're bring back.
 * Patient: Help! Someone! Help me!
 * Purity (Off-Screen): The Queen of the Virtue-Land himself!
 * (Kind Singing Conga Line to Himself)
 * Patient: Help!
 * Kind: Ooh, there's a pretty help. You don't rather hear help like that. In fact, the only who's calling for help like that is-- (Gasps) Queen Patient! What are you doing out here, when he's in there?
 * Patient: Help!
 * (Scene Fades to the Townspeople)
 * (Impatient Walks By)
 * (Utility Sputters): I must be seeing things.
 * (Humidity Gasps): Queen Patient? He's got some nerve coming here!
 * Utility (Off-Screen): And without any guards!
 * Impatient: Hey, everybody. How y'all doin'?
 * Humility: Oh, my! It's the queen!
 * Charity: I don't care.
 * Humility: You do care.
 * (Charity Glares at Impatient)
 * (Humidity Walks Up)
 * Utility: Please, Humidity, don't!
 * Humidity: Don't tell me "don't". I've been waiting years to chew him out.
 * Utility: Humidity!
 * (Humidity Marches Up to Impatient)
 * (Impatient Walks By)
 * (Humidity Stops at Impatient)
 * Impatient: Hello, old timer. Nice to see you.
 * Humidity: I'd rather shake hands with a cobra.
 * (Townspeople Murmuring)
 * Impatient: What's the matter?
 * Humidity: I'll tell you what, and I'll tell you face-to-face. I haven't worked in 10 years! My family's hungry!
 * Impatient: Now, why can't a tough obamadon like you get any work?
 * Humidity: You made a new law. Virtues aren't allowed to work.
 * Impatient: I did? Well, that's a pretty stupid law.
 * (Townspeople Murmur Confused)
 * Impatient: I'll change it!
 * Humidity: And another thing, you big galoot-- What did you say?
 * Impatient: I changed the law. Virtues can work whenever they want.
 * (Townspeople were More Confused)
 * Impatient: Anybody can work whenever they want!
 * Humility: Did you hear that, Charity? That's the kindest thing he's ever done.
 * Charity: But-- But why is he doing it?
 * Impatient: Why don't you report it to General Kind tomorrow? I hope he can use a tough obamadon like you.
 * Humidity: Do you really mean it, Highness?
 * Impatient: Of course I do. If you can give a stupid boy for Making a stupid law.
 * (Virtues Fall)
 * Humidity: Oh, Ma, Humidity's gonna be able to work.
 * Utility: I know, honey. Humidity, what's wrong?
 * Humidity: 10 years I've wait to chew him out, and what happens? He does something nice. I'm very unsatisfied.
 * (Dream Sneezes)
 * (Townspeople Gasp)
 * Dream: I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. I didn't mean to sneeze. I-I couldn't help it.
 * Charity: Now, we'll see the real Patient. He'll never let her get away with breaking the law.
 * Dream: I-I-I-It just came out. My nose started itching and-- I know it's forbidden for anyone to sneeze on market day. It offends you. Please, please, don't arrest me!
 * Impatient: You must be kidding. There's a law against sneezing?
 * Dream: But-- But, Your Majesty, it's your own law.
 * Impatient: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
 * (Townspeople Look at Impatient)
 * Impatient: Listen, everybody. You can sneeze whenever you want. And you can cough and burp when you want to. But you should excuse yourself when you burp, that's polite. That's not ripe. Here, let me show you how to pick a good apple.
 * (Cheering)
 * Impatient: What is it? What's going on?
 * Dream: Oh, Your Majesty-- Your Majesty, don't you know?
 * (Townspeople Cheer)
 * Impatient: No. What is this?
 * Dream: They-- They like you, Your Majesty.
 * (Townspeople Kneel)
 * Impatient: No-no-no-no-no. Please don't kneel. Kneeling's bad. Let's cut the kneeling. I wanna know every stupid law we have so I can get rid of them. I want you all to be happy.
 * (Utility and Humidity Lift Impatient Up)
 * Charity: I don't believe it.
 * Unity: I don't believe it.
 * Kind: Well, don't. Do I have an earful for you.
 * (Scene Fades to the Palace)
 * Black Hole: I knew it. I knew it. There was no way that African American could be Patient.
 * Kind: Then who is he?
 * Black Hole: Who cares who he is? All that's important is that he's not Patient.
 * Kind: All you have to do is expose him as a fake, and let Unity take over the throne.
 * Black Hole: No. Everybody likes this beggar. If we overthrow him, he might fight back.
 * Purity: Black Hole's right. They might support him.
 * Black Hole: No. This calls for a change of plans-- something a bit more sinister-- in a bit more permanent.

Charity and Impatient in Love/"Kind's Love Song"/Deceived:

 * Charity (Off-Screen): You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble, Your Majesty.
 * Impatient: Violins, an 8 course dinner, crepe suzette for desert? Ha! You call this trouble?
 * (Charity and Impatient Chuckle)
 * Utility: I don't know what you call it, but I call it a miracle.
 * Charity: I apologize for those things I said this morning, Your Majesty.
 * Impatient: How about calling me Impatient-- Uh, Patient.
 * Charity: Patient.
 * Kind: I know we have certain political differences, but, still, it's love at first sight. Young love, it can't help but stir my soul. (Sighs) Beautiful.
 * (Musical Number Plays and Kind Dances)
 * Kind: "I can see it was a little kiss, and it was romantic just like this. And I know that soon, I'd find a bride to the moon. Boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. When the bird in love is all around, and the birds are singing in the crowd, and the bees are buzzing and the flowers bloom. Boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. When I think of love, I'd like to do the cha-cha with my favorite sweet machaca. I can jump around like a cucaracha, I get somewhere round the block while I rock around the clock. I could tick a tock, and tick a tock. Okay! When I dance caramba on the floor, there's nothing else I adore. When the jungle heir is full of sweet perfume, I go boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. I go boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. When I think of love, I'd like to do the cha-cha with my favorite sweet machaca. I can jump around like a cucaracha, I get somewhere round the block while I rock around the clock. I could tick a tock, and tick a tock. When I dance caramba on the floor, there's nothing else I adore. When the jungle heir is full of sweet perfume, I go boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. I go boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom-chik-a-boom. Ole!"
 * Charity: Patient? Patient!
 * Impatient: Hmm?
 * Charity: I don't know how I could've been so wrong about you. You're the kindest, gentlest, most honest person I ever knew.
 * Impatient: Honest. Yeah. Charity, there's something I have to tell you about me. Something I should've told you from the start.
 * Charity: What is it, Patient?
 * Impatient: Well, i-it's about--
 * (Temper Squawks)
 * Impatient: Temper!
 * Charity (Off-Screen): There's a note tied to its leg.
 * (Impatient Picks up the Note)
 * Kind: "Dear Impatient, your brother's been captured by hunters. I'll try to free him. I think Sanity may attack the city. You must hold out until I return with Patient. Sincerely, Kind."
 * Charity: Impatient?
 * Impatient: Uh-- Yeah-yeah-yeah. It's a codename.
 * Charity: Your brother Patient?
 * Impatient: Uh, yeah. It's an old trick, uh, to confuse the enemy.
 * Charity: You're not the queen, are you?
 * Impatient: I was about to tell you.
 * Charity: It's been a lie right from the start!
 * Impatient: Look, Charity, this wasn't my--
 * Charity: You're worst the Queen Patient. At least he is what he is. You're just a fake!
 * (Charity Leaves Angrily)
 * Impatient: Charity! Don't go!
 * Charity: Serves me right for trusting you! I never wanna see you again, whoever you are!
 * (Temper Chirps Sadly)
 * (Impatient Bows his Head Sadly)

Sanity's Plan:

 * (Scene Fades to Camp)
 * Black Hole: Now it's time to sChance bravery. This thing to the throne doesn't have Patient's courage.
 * Unity: Yeah. He'll flee that you guys will attack.
 * Sanity: General Kind isn't in the city.
 * Purity: The army has no leader.
 * Unity: We offer you a full three quarters at the kingdom, Dr.
 * Sanity: Hmm. We have a bargain. Return to the city.
 * Black Hole: Excellent.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Leaves)
 * Sanity: Send for my armor, and prepare for my troops to march. And when we reach the city, I want Black Hole and his Henchmen to be the first to fall. I never trust a traitor.

Patient and Impatient's Conversation/The Battle Begins:

 * (Scene Fades to Impatient)
 * Impatient: No, no, no! You're supposed to be getting in positions to defend the city, not knock it down. Whose side are y'all on anyway?
 * (Townspeople Run for Cover, and Run into their Own Houses)
 * Charity (Off-Screen): The whole city's in a panic!
 * Chastity: If you'd marry the kind, we'd be safe in the palace now.
 * Charity: I keep telling you, he's not the queen! He's someone named Impatient!
 * Chastity: Well, I hope he can lead the army like Queen Patient could. Say what you want about him, but that was one boy who knew how to fight.
 * (Unity, Purity, and Unity Snore Inside the Tent)
 * (Unity Mumbles in his Sleep)
 * (Kind Barges in and Swipes the Keys)
 * Kind: Good night, dear.
 * Patient: And so, this is how the once mighty queen of Virtue-Land ends his days-- a prisoner soon to be exhibited for the amusement of all.
 * Kind (Off-Screen): Something tells me you'll be back on your throne.
 * Patient: Kind.
 * Kind: I hope you had plenty of rest, 'cause we have lots of ground to cover.
 * (Scene Fades to Patient and Kind Running)
 * Kind: Everyone launches Neo's army marching to the city.
 * Patient: But if you're here, who's in charge of the army?
 * (Scene Fades Again to the Palace)
 * Sanity: Attack! Take no prisoners.
 * (Sanity's Arms Attacks the Castle)
 * Impatient: "How to age war at 2 easy lessons. Chapter 1: Have an army--"
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Looks Down)
 * (Sanity's Army Attacks the Village)
 * Black Hole: Careful, you fools. You're wrecking our city.
 * Impatient: Your city?
 * Black Hole: Of course. I didn't mean to say "our". I meant to say--
 * Chance: I wouldn't worry about it, Black Hole. Soon you'll be decorating a mirage in Sanity's trophy room.
 * Unity: No. No. We had a deal.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Falls)
 * (Impatient Jumps Down)
 * Chance: Come back. Back, you fools.
 * (Chance Runs Out of the Palace)
 * Chance: Come. We have a city to conquer.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Runs Away)
 * (The Townspeople Run, Too)
 * Impatient: Hold on! That guy's that way.
 * Peace: First, we have to save ourselves!
 * (Everyone Holds Off, While Black Hole and his Henchmen Climbs Up)
 * Black Hole: You just can't trust anyone nowadays.
 * (Black Hole Jumps Down the Chimney)
 * (Charity Gasps): Black Hole!
 * (Black Hole Walks Over to Charity and Grabs her Hand)
 * Black Hole: You're coming with me. Anyone tries to stop us and the fur's gonna fly.
 * (The Battle Goes On and On)
 * Impatient: "Any column, the text might be a figure in June, for the diagram 38 in Chapter 4."
 * (Townspeople Keep Running)
 * Dream: Are you all gonna stay in the houses like cowards while our queen fights alone? He's changed his ways!
 * (Patient and Kind Come By)
 * Dream (Off-Screen): Don't you owe something in return?
 * Chance: You're right. Queen Patient was trying to change.
 * Greed: He's done away with the old laws. He wanted us to be happy. We should help him!
 * Temper: I say we fight with him!
 * Patient: Can these be my subjects?
 * Kind: But why is it surprised, Your Highness.
 * Patient: I'm not a fool, Kind. I chose to believe they loved me, but I knew the truth. Who could love a ruler like me? I'm nothing but a vain, stupid old--
 * Kind: Vain? Why would you call yourself vain? Just because you spend most of your waking hours in front of a mirror? And stupid? Just because you never saw how miserable you were Making everybody--
 * (Patient Covers Kind's Mouth)
 * Patient: Kind, don't lose your head. And if you keep this up, you will lose your head!
 * Impatient: Uh-- Uh-- How to make a white flag?
 * (Townspeople Run to Impatient)
 * Dream: We're in danger, Your Majesty.
 * Impatient: You are?
 * Greed: We are.
 * (Patient Runs After Sanity's Men)
 * (Patient and Impatient Bump Into Each Other)
 * Patient: Impatient?
 * Impatient: Patient?
 * (The Flying Virtue Drop Nets Over Chance)
 * (Patient and Impatient Look Up and See the Virtue Helping Out)
 * Patient: Where are you going?
 * Impatient: You save your city. I'll save Charity.
 * Patient: Wow.
 * Temper: Here you are, Sire.
 * Patient: Yes, thank you.
 * (Patient Hits Sanity with a Broom)
 * (Kind Arrives with the Strong Virtue)
 * (Every Objects Cause an Earthquake to Shake Sanity's Men)
 * (Greed Uses his Vine Whip to Throw Sanity's Army Away)
 * (Greed Uses its Flamethrower on Sanity)
 * (Greed Uses its Hydro Pump to Blast Sanity to the Trees)
 * (Greed Charged at Sanity's Army and Rammed them Away)
 * (Greed Uses his Rollout Attack to Knock Chance)
 * (Greed Binds Sanity)
 * (Greed Uses Confusion on Sanity and Throws him to the Tree)
 * (Impatient Appears in front of Sanity as Greed Fights off)
 * (Greed Picks Sanity and Throws him)
 * (Greed knocks Sanity's men to the ground)
 * (Greed Runs Over Chance as he Gets Trampled on)
 * (Greed Punches Sanity)
 * (Greed Rolls Over Chance)
 * (Greed Flaps its Wings and Makes Dust on Sanity)
 * (Greed Stomps his Feet on the Ground, Making an Earthquake)
 * (Greed Hyper Beam to Send Sanity on the Ground)
 * Sanity: Patient?
 * Impatient: Impatient.
 * Sanity: Impatient?
 * Patient: Patient!
 * Impatient: Patient.
 * Patient: Impatient.
 * (Patient Appears in Front of Sanity)
 * (Greed Roars So Mighty, it Sends Sanity's Army Away)
 * Sanity: Easy now, Patient. Or Impatient. Or whatever. (Stuttering) Hello? Troops?
 * (Sanity's Arms Retreats)
 * Sanity: Retreat. Retreat!
 * (Sanity and his Men Run in Fear)
 * (Townspeople Cheer)

The Battle Against Black Hole and his Henchmen:

 * (Black Hole Pulls Charity Outside, Where Unity and Purity are)
 * Impatient (Off-Screen): That's far enough.
 * (Impatient Appears Near Black Hole and his Henchmen)
 * Black Hole: Oh, no. Don't tell me it's Queen Patient who's come to rescue fair Charity.
 * Impatient: No. It's Impatient.
 * Purity: You're history, Impatient!
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Attacks Impatient in the House)
 * (Charity Watches in Fear)
 * (Crashing Goes on in the House)
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen is Kicked Out the Window)
 * Charity: How dare you attack me and my family!
 * (Charity Kicks Black Hole and his Henchmen)
 * Charity: How dare you attack the man I love!
 * (Charity Kicks Black Hole and his Henchmen Again)
 * Charity: How dare you!
 * Unity: Okay, Charity, we get the point. You don't have to beat it into the ground.
 * (Black Hole and his Henchmen Runs Away in Fear)
 * (Impatient Walks Out)
 * Charity: Impatient. I didn't know you could fight like that.
 * Impatient: Yeah, well, Black Hole shouldn't have insulted your mother.

Impatient Gets Awarded/Impatient's Death:

 * (Scene Fades to the Ceremony)
 * Patient: And so, for extreme bravery in the face of the enemy, and for showing me how to be a real queen, and for helping save this royal city, I am proud to give you the imperil honor of the heart.
 * (Townspeople Cheer)
 * Patient: You're sure you won't stay here and rule with me? We could share the throne.
 * Impatient: You-- You don't need me, Patient.
 * Patient: What will you do?
 * Impatient: We're going back to the jungle. With Charity's help, I'll have the illustrated companion of Virtue life finished in no time.
 * (Impatient Leaves with Charity)
 * Impatient: I almost forgot. Where's Temper? Temper? Oh, Temper?
 * Kind: Oh, yes, my sweet. Love is in the air.
 * (Kind and Temper Fly to the Jungle with Charity and Impatient)
 * (Patient Runs Away)
 * (Impatient Laughing): Yeah.
 * (Patient Accidentally Runs Up to Impatient)
 * Impatient: Get off of me! Patient, what are you-- Wha--
 * (Charity Tips Impatient into the River)
 * (Impatient and Patient Fall in the Water)
 * Peace: That was great, Charity.
 * (Charity Chirps Agreement)
 * (The Alligators See Impatient)
 * Impatient: Patient! Patient, you stupid monster! Get off of me, you idiot! Get off! Get off of me!
 * Patient: Sorry, Impatient.
 * (Impatient Sees the Alligators)
 * Impatient: No! No! Back! No, no. Get-- Get back! Get back!
 * (Cut to the Waterfall)
 * Impatient: Get-- Get away! Get away! Get! Ha!
 * (The Alligators Swim Back)
 * Impatient: I got you! I got you all! You'd think twice before messing with Impatient the Witch of the West! (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Patient Waves Goodbye at Impatient)
 * (Impatient Looks Back and Sees the Waterfall)
 * (Impatient Screaming, and Tries to Swim Away, but Fails)
 * Impatient: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (She Falls to her Death Down the Waterfall, Never to Be Seen Again)
 * Peace: She's gone forever, guys. Well done.
 * (Special Ends)