Prices of Justice

[The episode starts at the lake at Tall Timbers Park, where Price Tag and Dollar Bill are visiting their fish friends.] Price Tag: "Hey, Mrs. Fishman. Didn't we talk about you staying off your feet until the babies are born? You should be relaxing, in your new kelp bed!" [Gives the Fishmans said kelp bed, and then remembers something.] "Oh, almost forgot, gotta update my sign." [Goes over to said sign, that reads 'Fishmans Pond population 2'.] "'Fishmans Pond population...'" [realizes] "Wait, how many little ones are you having again?" [The Fishmans submerge, and Price Tag looks into the water to count their eggs, but decides on something else.] "Uh, let's just round it off to a hundred." [using her slimy finger as a pen] "So that makes, a hundred and two. Goiky is a great place for big families. You guys are gonna be really happy here." ''[Just then, a bulldozer comes by and it splashes Price Tag and Dollar Bill in the sludge. Price Tag turns around and sees the bulldozer.]'' Price Tag: [stern] "Hey! What's your problem, pal?!" Worker: "Beat it, kid. This land got sold to The Mustard Warehouse. They're building a new store here. I got orders to fill in this pond today." Price Tag: "You can't do that! This is the Fishmans' home." Worker: "Look, if they got a problem, they can call a lawyer." Price Tag: "They can't use the phone." [The Fishmans look sad.] Worker: [laughs] "Aww, come on, kid. No one cares about a couple of fish. Put 'em in a tank or something." Price Tag: "If I move the parents, I'd have to move their eggs, and they could die." Worker: "What can I tell ya, kid? There's plenty of other fish in the sea." [chuckles] "Now move." [goes back to his bulldozer.] Price Tag: [starts to get worried then gets an idea.] "Wait, buddy! Your shoe's untied!" Worker: "Huh?" [sees that his shoe really is untied.] "Oh, yeah." [starts to tie his shoe.] Price Tag: [to Dollar Bill] "Dollar Bill, bolt removal." [Dollar Bill snags the bolts with his tongue, and spins himself to undo the bolts.] Worker: "Under, around, and through. Meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull, and through." [gets back on his bulldozer, only for it to fall apart.] "Oh, for crying into your pub cheese soup!" [growls] "I'll deal with this tomorrow." [leaves] Price Tag: "Good job, Dollar Bill. That'll buy us a little time to figure out a plan." ''[gives a thumbs up to the Fishmans. Just then, Dollar Bill lets out a burp.]'' "Dollar Bill, diesel breath." [Price Tag wafts away Dollar Bill' burp.]

''[The Hotel. Slimy footprints are seen on the walkway and into the entrance. Price Tag walks into the kitchen, still covered in sludge. Four and X take notice of this.]'' Four: [stern] "Price Tag, slimy shoes!" X: [also stern] "And pants, and shirt, and hat!" Price Tag: "No time to change, I've got a crisis on my hands." ''[X puts oven mitts on Four's hands, then takes out a garbage bag. They walk over and Four puts Price Tag in the bag and sets her down while they're conversing.]'' Price Tag: "The Fishmans are getting kicked out of their home." X: "Have they tried calling a lawyer?" Price Tag: "They're fish! And they live in the pond at Tall Timbers Park, but now some jerks wanna pave paradise and-" Avocado: [Walks into the kitchen and cuts Price Tag off.] "Put up a parking lot?" Price Tag: "No, a mustard warehouse." Avocado: [Taking a box of apple juice out of the fridge.] "Well, the mustard warehouse probably will have a parking lot." [Price Tag rolls her eyes, and Avocado leaves.] Price Tag: "I can't just stand by and watch this happen!" Four: "X, I think we may have a little activist in our hands." X: "You know, we might be able to help, hon. Your mother and I were quite the activists in our day. We rallied for a ton of good causes." Four: "Equal pay for women, reduction in carbon emissions." X: "The freedom to wear puka shell chokers in the workplace, you know, all the big stuff." Price Tag: "Great. So, what do I need to do?" Four: "Well, I think your best bet would be to draw up a petition." Price Tag: "Okay, cool." [Realizing that she has no idea what a petition is.] "What's a petition?" X: "Well, you go door to door collecting as many signatures as you can, you'll also need phone numbers, home addresses, and emails." [Just hearing that exhausts Price Tag.] Four: "You'll need the signatures of half of the people in town, which would be about, mmh, ten thousand." Price Tag: "Ten thousand? Is that even a real number?" [her parents nod] "Okay, fine. And then the construction will stop?" X: "No. It'll just be delayed while they call a public hearing." Four: "Now, at the hearing, there has to be... " [Just then, a trumpet playing dubs over her and X's voices, which is kinda similar to what you hear when the adults in Peanuts are talking, which exhausts Price Tag even more.]

[Later, in the upstairs hallway, Price Tag hops up the stairs, still in the bag.] Price Tag: "Boy, ten thousand signatures? This is gonna be a long day. Dollar Bill, we better pee before we go." [She hops into the bathroom, where Winner, who is fixing her eyebrows, sees Price Tag's reflection in the mirror, and freaks out.] Winner: "Aah! Monster!" Price Tag: [Not realizing that Winner means her.] "Cool, where?" [Winner runs past Price Tag and out of the bathroom, screaming, and runs right into Avocado & 9-Ball's bedroom door, and continues screaming as she runs into her own and Leek's bedroom door, then ITRD & Kitchen Sink's, then down the stairs, and stops screaming when she runs into something, again.] Winner: "I'm never going in that bathroom again!" [Price Tag hops up onto the step ladder to take a look at her own reflection.] Price Tag: [Getting an idea] "You know, Dollar Bill, maybe there's an easier way to save the Fishmans." [Dollar Bill says something] "You're right, we should still pee anyway." [Dollar Bill over to the toilet, and Dollar Bill, using his tongue, closes the door for her.] ''[Later, she grabs a helmet out of the attic, has Dollar Bill snag a white sheet from Anchor's experiment, which reveals that Anchor was working on a real monster, afterwards, Price Tag and Dollar Bill are in the woods, Dollar Bill rallying together his forest friends, who all raise their various appendages, ready to rescue the Fishmans. Later, the construction worker from the previous day is finishing the repairs on the bulldozer, he starts to climb in, but looks when he hears splashing, he doesn't see anything so he climbs into the dozer and starts it up, when suddenly, something jumps onto his hood, a sludge monster it seems to be, the monster growls at the worker.]'' Worker: "Aah! Cheese and rice!" ''[He keeps screaming as he puts the bulldozer in reverse, which causes the monster to fall off, but the bulldozer falls in a hole, the worker climbs out and the monster continues growling. The worker pulls out his phone and takes a picture.]'' "They're never gonna believe me! I'm outta here!" [Runs for it.] [Once he's out of sight, the monster is revealed to be Price Tag, Dollar Bill, and all their forest friends, the Fishmans come out of the water with glee, and wink at them.]

[Later, Price Tag returns home where Four, Winner and X are watching the news, Four calls her attention.] Four: "Hey, honey, come check this out. They're talking about your pond." Two: "Two coming to you live from Tall Timbers Park. I'm here with the construction worker who claims to have seen an alleged sludge monster." Worker: "That's right, Two. Had to be twenty feet tall, couple hundred pounds, paws like a bunch of bananas. See for yourself." [shows the picture] "He came at me with everything he had." Two: "And is that when you ran away screaming?" Worker: "Wha-? Who told you that? Was it the monster?" Two: "Uh huh, uh huh. I'm getting word that in light of this incident, the mustard warehouse has decided to build its new store in another location." Price Tag: [joyful] "Yeah!" [laughs] X: "Looks like you lucked out, kiddo." Four: "Even though you didn't need it, we're proud you were willing to put in the effort with that petition." Price Tag: "The what now?" [realizes] "Oh, right, the petition. Yeah, I was so close to getting those ten thousand signatures." [smiles sheepishly] Winner: "Ten thousand? Is that even a real number?" Price Tag: "Apparently." Winner: "Well, I'm just glad that sludge monster isn't in our bathroom anymore." Four & X: "That's terrific, sweetie."

[Price Tag and Dollar Bill return to Tall Timbers Park.] Price Tag: "Well, Dollar Bill, the Fishmans are gonna be pretty happy to see ol' Lans. Not to boast, but I did save their-" [gasps] [To Price Tag's surprise, it is shown that the pond is surrounded with people and the news crew, waiting to see the "sludge monster" again.] Man: "Here, monster, monster." Girl: "I need a selfie with the monster." [Announcer is also running a stand as well, selling "official", (and probably counterfeit), sludge monster shirts.] Announcer: "Get your sludge monster tees! One for $4, three for $15!" Price Tag: [approaches Two] "What's going on?" Two: "Two coming to you live from Tall Timbers Park. It appears the alleged sludge monster has turned this once sleepy hamlet into a hotbed of media attention." Price Tag: [turns confused for a second, then realizes...] "Oh, you're talking to me." Two: "Yes, I am. And can you please move? Because we need to set up our broadcasting tent." [Her crew sets up the tent, one member kneels a foot in the water while tying down the guide wires.] Price Tag: [To the aforementioned crew member.] "Be careful, there are delicate fish eggs over here," [shoves the crew member out of the pond.] "they need peace and quiet." [Just then, the news chopper hovers in, flabbergasting Price Tag.] "How long is this whole 'media hot sauce' thing gonna last?!" Two: "Until the sludge monster decides to pack up and leave. Two will be bringing you all the action, twenty-four seven, I'm Two." [Two leaves, and Price Tag gets an idea.] Price Tag: "Hmm, 'pack up and leave', you say?" [Grins menacingly]

''[Later, at Short Shrub Creek, many people are lollygagging around, minding their own business, not expecting anything unusual to happen. Price Tag, along with Dollar Bill and their forest friends, are in their sludge monster costume, hiding in the creek.]'' Price Tag: "Okay, gang, I feel kinda bad about scaring all these people, but we gotta do it for the Fishmans." ''[They dawn the costume and sink into the water. Meanwhile, an innocent Winner and Loser are having a picnic by the shore, unaware that they are about to have an unexpected visitor.]'' Loser: [To Winner] "So, I brought the ham and cheese. Did you bring the baguette?" Winner: "I'm sorry, I didn't know what that was, so I just got bread." ''[Winner pulls said bread out of the basket, which actually is a baguette, when suddenly, the sludge monster rises from the creek, growling, the girls freak out and join the other people at the creek in making a run for it. Everybody runs away, except Winner, who runs screaming into a tree, and then runs screaming into another tree, and another before finally dropping to the ground.]

[Back at Tall Timbers] Two: "Listen up, team, this is Two with breaking news." News Crew Member: "Two, we know your name." Two: "The sludge monster has been spotted at Short Shrub Creek. This is Two saying, let's get over there!" [Everybody takes off, except Announcer, who had raised his prices to five dollars a shirt, and three shirts for twenty.] Announcer: "Anyone wanna give Announcer a lift?! I'll give you a discount on a t-shirt, six bucks." [The Fishmans look at this scene and Price Tag emerges from the lake.] Price Tag: "Fish fam, great news. I got those noisy TV people out of here so you can raise your babies in peace!"

[Later back at home, Price Tag and Dollar Bill are on the couch seeing the news about the Lake on TV.] Two: "This is Two coming to you live from Short Shrub Creek, where the sludge monster has recently relocated." Price Tag: [To Dollar Bill] "Thanks to us." [Up tops with Dollar Bill] Two: "That's bad news for the mustard warehouse, because Short Shrub Creek was going to be the site of their new store." Price Tag: [Unable to believe her ears] "Wait, it was?" Two: "The good news is, now that Tall Timbers Park is sludge monster free, they'll be able to move back there, construction starts tomorrow. I'm Two." Price Tag: [Gasps] "Dollar Bill, What have we done?! They’re going right back to the Fishmans!" [Price Tag sadly walks into her room towards her bed.] "Oh Dollar Bill, I should’ve listened to Mom and Dad and done things the right way." [Pulls out her phone to look at a selfie she took with the Fishmans, and notices the time.] "We still have time before they turn the Fishmans' home into mustard, maybe we can still do this."

[Later, there is a knock on Mr. Pirie's door, he opens it to find Price Tag.] Price Tag: "Hi, Mr. Pirie, I'm collecting signatures to stop the mustard warehouse from destroying the Fishmans' home." Mr. Pirie: "Uh, did the Fishmans try calling a lawyer?" Price Tag: [Showing Mr. Pirie the selfie.] "They're fish!" Mr. Pirie: "Well, mustard gives me the toots, so I'll sign. Price Tag: [During a montage of her collecting more signatures.] "A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you. A thank you." [Eventually, she returns home where all her siblings were watching TV with their parents.] Four: "There you are, honey. We heard from that reporter what's-her-name that they're back to paving your park again." Price Tag: "I know. I was out trying to get those ten thousand signatures to stop them." X: "How'd it go?" Price Tag: "Not great. I came up about ten million short." Four: [hugs Price Tag] "I'm really sorry, sweetie, but you did everything you could." Price Tag: Well, no, I actually didn't. I tried to take a shortcut and made things worse, and by the time I decided to do it the right way, I was too late." X: "Well, we're still proud that you stood up for what you believed in." Price Tag: "Yeah, but that doesn't do much for the Fishmans. They're still going to lose their home." ''[collapses on the floor and the selfie falls to the ground. Anchor takes notice of this and looks at the picture.]'' Anchor: "Wait a proverbial ding dang moment." Price Tag: [threateningly] "Anchor, if you tell me to call a lawyer, I'm going to-" Anchor: "No, no, no. You don't need a lawyer or signatures. The 'Fishmans', as you so charmingly refer to them, are actually Acipenser Fulvenscens. Street name: lake sturgeon." Winner: "The Fishmans are doctors?" Anchor: [sighs] "Not 'surgeon', Winner, 'sturgeon'. Which are endangered and therefore protected." Price Tag: [gets up] "Wait, are you saying-" Anchor: "That nobody can touch their habitat. It's a federal law." Price Tag: [joyful] "Y-e-e-es!" Anchor: "As you may recall, in 1973, Congress passed..." ''[Just then, the trumpet from before can be heard playing again, dubbing over Anchor's voice, and Price Tag turns exhausted again. Camera zooms out to show that Avocado was actually playing the trumpet over what Anchor's saying on the stairs and Anchor takes notice of this.]'' "Avocado, I'm trying to speak here."

[And so, at the Fishman's Pond, which is now in federal protection.] Price Tag: "See that, Fishmans? You are now federally protected, which means no one can mess with your home." [Several fish babies swim up to their parents.] Price Tag: "Fish babies! Aunt Price Tag and Uncle Dollar Bill are here to babysit! You guys enjoy yourselves. A-thank you." [She walks into the pond.] [Just then, Winner and Loser arrive to have a redo of their picnic.] Winner: "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Loser: "Oh, Winner, come on. W--what's-her-name from the news said there hasn't been a sludge monster sighting in days!" Winner: "Okay, I guess." [They sit down to have their picnic, when suddenly they hear something coming from the pond, Price Tag and Dollar Bill, who are both covered in sludge, come out of the pond, Price Tag spitting out water from her mouth, but Winner and Loser, thinking it's the sludge monster again, freak out and run off, with Winner hitting the trees offscreen as she grunts in pain each time she hits one while Price Tag remains in the pond, confused.]