SpongeBob SquarePants and the Ghoul School/Transcript

Meeting the Students:

 * (Thunderclap)
 * (It's Raining)
 * (Nickelodeon presents)
 * (The Rain Comes Down Hard)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Walk Down the Road)
 * (SpongeBob SquarePants and the Ghoul School Title Card Appears)
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, look. Lighting.
 * Patrick: Lighting? Don't you mean lighting, SpongeBob?
 * (Lightning Crackles)
 * (Starring)
 * SpongeBob: No, lighting.
 * (SpongeBob)
 * (SpongeBob Pulls the Isis to Patrick)
 * (Patrick)
 * Patrick: Not while I'm walking, SpongeBob.
 * (Patrick Moves the Isis Away)
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey! Don't forget about us.
 * (Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl)
 * (Patrick Keeps Walking)
 * (Written by Stephen Hillenburg)
 * (Produced by ???)
 * Patrick: I can't see a thing through this rain!
 * (SpongeBob Looks the Other Way)
 * (Directed by ???)
 * Squidward: Oh, boy. Maybe we shouldn't have taken this new job.
 * Pearl: Don't be silly, Squidward. We'll be good gym teachers. And I'll be a good assistant. See? I've been working out. (She Lifts a Barbell Over her Head) Whoa!
 * Sandy: Oh, no! Pearl!
 * Mr. Krabs: Not only is she working out, but she's falling out, too!
 * Pearl: Whee! I figured this is great for building my shoulder muscles.
 * Sandy: Pearl, let go!
 * Pearl: Anything you say, Sandy.
 * (Pearl Falls on Sandy)
 * Pearl: Gee, Sandy, do you wanna work out, too?
 * Sandy: No!
 * (Thunderclap)
 * SpongeBob: I'm ready to get to this fancy girls school and taste their fancy cooking.
 * Sandy: Me, too.
 * Squidward: In the meantime, I'll check the grub compartment. Hey! There's a sandwich left.
 * (Mr. Krabs Takes a Bite out of the Sandwich): Yuck! Anyone for a road map on rye?
 * Squidward: I put it there for safe keeping, Mr. Krabs.
 * Mr. Krabs: I think we're lost.
 * (Military School is Shown)
 * Patrick: No, we're not, Mr. Krabs. There's the school. Not to shabby, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Only the best for our friends. (Giggles) Huh? Military School? We're looking for Mrs. Seasmith's Finish School for Girls!
 * Patrick: Oh, that's right next door.
 * (Mrs. Seasmith's School for Girls is Shown)
 * SpongeBob: Looks like there's no one home. We'll come back some other time.
 * Squidward: Yeah.
 * Pearl: No, we won't.
 * (The Gates Open)
 * Pearl: See, Sandy? I knew they'd be expecting us.
 * (They Walk inside)
 * (Thunderclap)
 * Patrick: What a time for my feet to run down.
 * Squidward: I can't see the road!
 * (SpongeBob Wipes Squidward's Eyes)
 * SpongeBob: How's that, Squidward?
 * Squidward: Much better, SpongeBob. I think I see the school.
 * (Squidward Gasps): But I don't think I want to.
 * Sandy: Wow! Such a nice place.
 * Pearl: It even has a moat.
 * Squidward: Moat?!
 * SpongeBob: Moat?! And no drawbridge!
 * (SpongeBob is Seen Flying to the Door Yelling)
 * Patrick (Off-Screen): That's my friend, SpongeBob. He always wants to get places ahead of everybody.
 * (A Hand Picks up a Flattened SpongeBob and Fixes Him)
 * SpongeBob: Thanks. (Yells, and Runs inside the School)
 * (A Dragon-like Dog Snarls Angrily at SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob: N-N-N-Nice doggy.
 * (The Dragon, Whose Name is Fiery, Shoots Fire at SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob: Patrick! (He Runs and Accidentally Hits the Knights' Armor)
 * Patrick: SpongeBob likes to arrive with a big bang.
 * SpongeBob: Squidward! Sandy! Patrick! Mr. Krabs! Pearl!
 * (SpongeBob Tries to Pull the Helmet Off his Head and Finally Does)
 * (The Helmet Falls on Fiery's Head)
 * (The Gate Opens)
 * Pearl: Come on, guys.
 * (They Run Inside)
 * (A Two-Headed Shark Appears in the Moat)
 * (Fiery Burns the Helmet to Pieces and Angrily Approaches SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob: Oh, no.
 * (Fiery Snarls at SpongeBob)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Fiery, come here.
 * (Fiery Sadly Comes to Mrs. Seasmith)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Bad boy. I hope he didn't scare you.
 * SpongeBob: Me? No.
 * Patrick: Gee, SpongeBob, is that--?
 * SpongeBob: Dragon? Yes. (Snarls)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Fiery can get feisty around strangers. But once he gets to know you, he's fine.
 * Patrick: Nice to know you, Fiery. I'm Patrick. I guess you've already met my friend, SpongeBob.
 * (Fiery Snarls at SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob (Nervously): Hello. (Chuckles)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Then you must be Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl. I'm Mrs. Seasmith, head mistress of this Finishing School.
 * Squidward: Nice to meet you, ma'am.
 * (Squidward Shakes a Hand from a Hand)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): I thought you might need a hand with your luggage.
 * (Squidward Hears a Howl)
 * Squidward: I don't know if we'll be staying, right, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Absolutely.
 * (A Bat Flies By)
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Run to the Door, but the Hand Stops Them)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Come now. We have a contract, Squidward. These are your signatures, are they not?
 * Squidward: I think so.
 * Pearl: Sure they are. Mr. Krabs and I even witnessed them. Right, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Right, Pearl.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Good. Now that's settled. Come, I want you to meet my girls.
 * (A Bat Flies By)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Ah, here's one of them now.
 * Squidward: Girl? Don't be batty. That's not a girl.
 * (The Bat Changes into a Tall Human)
 * Selena: What's going on with this one? I'm Selena, Count Dracula's daughter. Nice to meet you.
 * Squidward: D-D-D-D-Dracula's--
 * SpongeBob: d-d-d-d-daughter?
 * (Anne Walks Down)
 * Anne: Hi! My name is Anne.
 * SpongeBob: Are you a witch?
 * Anne: Oh, that I am. That I am. And I have someone with me, too.
 * Elsa: Greetings, earthlings. I'm Elsa, the Alien's daughter.
 * Squidward: Don't tell me, you're an alien.
 * Elsa: Yes indeed.
 * Melanie: Hello! I'm Melanie, the Kitty's daughter.
 * Pearl: How cute! A cat!
 * Sandy: She's too cute, Pearl. But I agree with you.
 * Gay: Hi there! I'm Gay, Zardy's daughter.
 * Squidward: Are you a scarecrow, too?
 * Gay: Yes. And here's another friend of mine.
 * Rebecca: Hello there. I'm Rebecca, the Blob's daughter. Good to see you.
 * Squidward: B-B-B-B-blob--
 * SpongeBob: m-m-m-m-m-monster?
 * Becky: Hi! I'm Becky.
 * Patrick: Are you really a pirate?
 * Becky: Oh, that I am. That I am.
 * Millie: Hello there. I'm Millie.
 * Squidward: Y-Y-Y-You're a pumpkin, right?
 * Millie (Off-Screen): You bet I am.
 * (Wendy Howling)
 * Patrick: Wow! A werewolf!
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Wendy the Werewolf, to be précised. Come down and meet your new teacher, Wendy.
 * Wendy: Helloooooooooo.
 * Squidward: Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
 * (Linda Walks Down like Frankenstein)
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Skid to a Stop)
 * Linda: Hi! I'm Linda.
 * SpongeBob: And I'm outta here!
 * Linda: Huh?
 * SpongeBob: Come on, guys.
 * Pearl: But, SpongeBob--
 * Mrs. Seasmith: I guess they're just anxious to find their rooms. They must be tired.
 * Linda: They don't run like their tired.
 * Selena: Yeah. You'd think they never met a girl ghoul before.
 * (Mrs. Seasmith, Linda, Anne, Becky, Melanie, Rebecca, Gay, Elsa, Millie, Wendy, and Selena Laugh)

Welcome to Ghoul School:

 * (The Rain Keeps Pouring)
 * Squidward: Maybe we can exit this door.
 * SpongeBob: I hope so, Squidward.
 * Pearl: But, SpongeBob, why are we leaving? Don't you wanna meet the rest of the girls?
 * Squidward (Off-Screen): Those aren't girls, Pearl. They're ghouls!
 * (A Phantom Whose Name is Paula Floats By)
 * Squidward: S-S-See what I mean?
 * Paula: Hi! I'm Paula. Wanna hear me play?
 * (Paula Plays a Song on an Organ)
 * Sandy: Not bad, Paula, but do you know any pop?
 * (Squidward Grabs Sandy's Hand): No time for popping. We gotta get skipping!
 * (Shadows of the Seasmith Girls)
 * Linda: Don't worry, Mrs. Seasmith. We'll find 'em.
 * Mr. Krabs: Quick! In here.
 * (They Pant)
 * SpongeBob: This looks like a good place to hide.
 * (They Hide in the Mummy Casket, but Then Flee Out)
 * SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl: Mummy!
 * (A Young Mummy Named Susie Yawns)
 * Squidward: S-S-S-Sorry we woke you.
 * SpongeBob: Pretend I never saw that. This is a bad dream. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Bumps into Linda and Gay)
 * (SpongeBob Screams and Jumps into Squidward's Arms): Time to freak out!
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Ah, I see you met the youngest of my girls. This is Susie, the mummy's daughter.
 * (Susie Sucks her Thumb): Are they the new gym teachers?
 * Selena: Yes, Susie. We've been waiting for them a long time.
 * Squidward: It's not worth it. You wouldn't wanna eat us. We're just skin and bones. (Nervous Laughing)
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. See? Nothing but skin and bones.
 * (Paula Laughs): They're strange, Linda.
 * Linda: But they're in good shape, Paula.
 * Patrick: Gee, thanks.
 * Squidward: Good shape? For what?
 * Selena: To teach us how to beat those Jacobs Cadets, of course.
 * Susie: Yeah. They win every time. I'll never get a trophy for my mummy case.
 * Paula: We need a coach with spirit!
 * Wendy: Who can show us all the right moves!
 * Squidward: But--
 * Patrick: That's my friend SpongeBob. He and Squidward got more moves than a Russian chess player.
 * SpongeBob: Yes, right.
 * Patrick: Don't worry, Susie. We'll help you get a trophy or my name isn't Patrick.
 * Wendy: I'm so happy, I could howl. In fact, I will. (Howling)
 * Selena: Oh, it's awesome having you here, guys.
 * Linda: Yeah. Welcome to Ghoul School.
 * (Linda Slaps Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Sandy Spin and Land on the Floor)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Well, I'm glad that's all settled. Now, let me show you to your rooms.
 * (The Hand Shows Mrs. Seasmith the Keys)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Ah, here are the keys.
 * (SpongeBob, Squidward, and Sandy Yells as they Faint)
 * (Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl Carry SpongeBob, Squidward, and Sandy in Their Arms)
 * Pearl: Gosh, you guys must have been overcome by your warm welcome.

Ballet Lessons:

 * (Rooster Crows)
 * (Fiery Walks Over and Blows Fire at the Rooster)
 * (Rooster Squawking)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Ready for some early morning exercises, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: You betcha, Mrs. Seasmith. Want us to wake Squidward and SpongeBob?
 * Mrs. Seasmith: No, don't bother. I let them a wakeup call.
 * (Squidward Snoring)
 * (The Hand Rubs Squidward's Shoulder Trying to Wake him Up)
 * Squidward: L-L-Leave me alone. I'm sleeping.
 * (The Hand Tries Again)
 * Squidward: Come back-- Come back in 5 minutes. (Snoring)
 * (The Hand Brings an Alarm Clock and the Alarm is Sounded)
 * (Squidward Yells): Okay. I'm up! I'm up!
 * (SpongeBob Snoring)
 * (Fiery Tries to Pull the Blanket Off him, Snarling)
 * Fiery: Ohh.
 * (Fiery Mutters and Walks to SpongeBob)
 * (Fiery Snickers Evilly, and Blows Fire on SpongeBob's Finger)
 * (SpongeBob Yells)
 * Patrick: Sounds like SpongeBob's up and at 'em.
 * (SpongeBob Yelling, and Puts his Finger in a Fishbowl, Sighing with Relief)
 * Pearl: Slimy, SpongeBob, you woke up the fish.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: That's no fish, Pearl. That's out pet piranha.
 * SpongeBob: Piranha? Oh, no!
 * (Piranha Bites SpongeBob's Finger)
 * (SpongeBob Yells)
 * Selena: Mrs. Seasmith told us we'd be taking ballet lessons this morning.
 * Rebecca: Right.
 * SpongeBob: Ow! Ow! Ow!
 * Linda: This must be a new step. (Jumping)
 * Wendy: It's a real howl. (Howling with Joy)
 * Susie: Careful, Wendy. You're tapping on my wrapping.
 * (Paula Laughing): How am I doing, Selena?
 * Selena: Oh, awesome, Paula.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Looks like SpongeBob's got the ballet class started, Patrick.
 * Patrick: He's always been light on her feet.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: You take over now, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl.
 * Mr. Krabs: You're the boss, Mrs. Seasmith.
 * Pearl: Yeah, thanks.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: And tutus for you too, Squidward, and Sandy.
 * Sandy: Us? Tutus?
 * (The Hand Winds the Music)
 * (Classical Ballet Music Plays Quietly)
 * Sandy: How come we have to dress around in a dress, Pearl?
 * Pearl: Uh, well, because--
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Because ballet will make my little ghouls limber.
 * Pearl: Limber. Just what I was thinking.
 * (Mr. Krabs Runs into Pearl and They Spin)
 * Selena: Oh, we'll be in good shape when we take on those Cadets in volleyball.
 * (The Record Slows Down the Music)
 * (Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl Leap Slowly to the Music)
 * (The Hand Keeps Cranking it Slowly)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Tempo. Tempo.
 * (The Hand Shrugs and Cranks it Faster)
 * (SpongeBob, Squidward, and Sandy Dance Faster to the Music)
 * (Linda and Susie Twirl)
 * Susie: Ooooh. Ballet really makes me unwind.

Jacobs Cadets:

 * (No One Outside Was Aware in the Room)
 * Ken: I've made visual contact by scope. Looks like those girls are doing some sort of weird ritual.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: I'm not surprised. It's Halloween all year long at that old Seasmith place.
 * Ken: Hey, they've got some new students. Couple of weird SpongeBob and his Friends.
 * Jimmy: Hey, let me see, Ken.
 * Ken: Careful, Jimmy. That new scope has a--
 * (Scope Falls on Jimmy's Head)
 * (The Earphones Slam on Ken's Ears Causing Him to Shake)
 * Ken: trigger-r-r-r.
 * Roland: Thomas, it's-- It's Colonel Jacobs.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Attention!
 * (They Salute)
 * Colonel Jacobs: At ease, men.
 * (Ken is Still Shaking)
 * Colonel Jacobs: I said at ease, cadet.
 * (Ken Stops Shaking, But his Body Keeps)
 * (Jimmy Holds his Body)
 * Ken: Thanks, Jimmy. I needed that.
 * Colonel Jacobs: I see you've been observing your opponents.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Yes, sir. Jacobs Cadets are always prepared.
 * Colonel Jacobs: But you haven't been practicing, and I'm challenging Mrs. Seasmith's school to an annual volleyball match.
 * Jimmy: No problem. We always beat these girls.
 * (Jimmy Hits the Ball, and it Bounces Out of Control)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Hit the deck!
 * (The Jacobs Cadets Duck)
 * (The Ball Bounces Out of Sight)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: As you can see, sir, Jimmy here has a dynamite serve.
 * Colonel Jacobs: So I noticed.
 * Jimmy: It's all in the wrist, sir.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Well, you could use some work on your control. Keep practicing, men.
 * Jacobs Cadets: Yes, sir!
 * Jeff Rogers: Our ball's now in Seasmith territory. Recommend a recon patrol to retrieve it.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Good idea, Jeff. Front and center, Jimmy. Lead the way!
 * Jimmy: Charge!
 * (They Go Through the Bushes)
 * (Then They Stop in their Tracks)
 * Jimmy: Uh-oh.
 * (Fiery Growling)
 * (Scene Fades Black)
 * (Fiery Growling)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: It's the Seasmith's weird guard dog.
 * Ken (Off-Screen): And he looks mucho hot under the collar.
 * Jeff Rogers: Easy, boy. We just want our ball.
 * (Fiery Spews Fire)
 * Jeff Rogers: But I think he wants to keep it.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Cadets, advance to the rear. And step on it!
 * (Fiery Spews More Fire)
 * (The Jacobs Cadets Go Back to the Bushes)
 * Jimmy: I-I-I guess we'll be cutting our volleyball practice short.
 * (Fiery Laughing): The ball.
 * (Fiery Takes the Ball Away)

Morning Jog/How Their Garden Grows:

 * (The Drawbridge Drops)
 * Patrick: Follow us, girls. There's nothing like a morning jog to get you in shape.
 * Pearl: And we don't need to wear a tutu, either.
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, no tutu. (Giggles)
 * Selena: Ah, there's nothing like feeling run like the wind.
 * Linda: This is good for the heart. Mine are both beating fast.
 * (Wendy Howls): How you doing, Susie?
 * Susie: Great, Wendy. I got built-in leg warmers.
 * Anne: Rebecca, you need to feel the breeze.
 * Rebecca: I like it!
 * Becky: This is fun!
 * Gay: I agree!
 * Millie: This is awesome!
 * Melanie: I couldn't agree more, Millie.
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Run Past Fiery)
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Fiery, how about burning up a few miles?
 * (Fiery Growls): Uh-uh.
 * SpongeBob (Off-Screen): Sorry I asked.
 * Mr. Krabs: Maybe his pilot light went out.
 * Linda: I just love running through the trees.
 * Paula: Me, too! (Giggles)
 * Linda: Last one is a rotten apple!
 * (SpongeBob, Squidward, and Sandy Trip Over Some Apples)
 * SpongeBob: I guess as long as we're here, we might as well take a break, and a bite.
 * Squidward: Oh, boy!
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Eat Apples, But Then Discover--)
 * SpongeBob and Squidward: Yuck!
 * Selena: Oh, don't you like crab apples? They're awesome. (She Eats One) They're rotten.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Throw the Apples Away)
 * SpongeBob: You girls have some strange taste. Come on, guys!
 * (Selena, Paula, Rebecca, Melanie, Anne, Wendy, Linda, Gay, Becky, Elsa, and Susie Eat Apples)
 * (Fiery Puts the Ball in the Hole)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Fiery, how many times do I have to tell you? Don't dig in the pumpkin patch. We need them all for our Halloween open house, and you definitely can't carve that into a Jack-O-Lantern. Now take care of it.
 * (Fiery Grumbling)
 * (Meanwhile at Jacobs Military School)
 * Roland: Here's another water balloon, Jimmy.
 * Jimmy: What are these for anyway, Thomas?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Ammunition.
 * Jeff Rogers: Check, ammunition. How's that air bazooka coming, Ken?
 * Ken: Be patient, guys. It's surplus, surplus. Some resembling is required. There.
 * Jeff Rogers: Check, bazooka.
 * Jimmy: Is this gonna get our ball back, Jeff?
 * Jeff Rogers: Check, affirmative.
 * Ken: Uh, maybe we should test it out first.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Good idea, Ken. But not till I say "Fire". This should put out that pup's fire.
 * Ken: Fire?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: No! Not--
 * (Thomas Gets Blown Away)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: yet!
 * (SPLASH)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Cadet Rogers, what is the meaning of this?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Uh, I can explain everything, sir.
 * Jeff Rogers: Check, we're in trouble.
 * (Fiery Grumbling, Kicks the Ball with his Tail)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: And our volleyball was missing in action, sir.
 * Jeff Rogers: So we planned a recovery action.
 * (The Ball Hits Colonel Jacobs's Head)
 * (Then it Bounces to Roland)
 * Colonel Jacobs: I'm the one in need of recovery. Now report to the volleyball court, immediately!
 * Jacobs Cadets: Yes, sir!
 * Colonel Jacobs: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!
 * Jeff Rogers: Your hat, Colonel Jacobs.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Thank you, Cadet Schaeffer.
 * (He Puts his Hat on and it Shrinks)
 * Colonel Jacobs: For nothing.
 * (Scene Fades to Mrs. Seasmith Serving Food)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Come and get it, my little ones!
 * SpongeBob: Wow! I thought you'd never ask.
 * Pearl: Running really revs up the appetite, huh, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: You betcha! Mmm.
 * Patrick: Wow! This looks pretty tasty.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Oh, I definitely hope so.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, boy.
 * (Mr. Krabs Tries to Eat a Steak, but the Hand Pulls the Tray Away)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Nothing's too good for my garden. Come and get it!
 * (The Flytraps Eat the Steak)
 * Mr. Krabs: Those pesky flytraps are grabbing the grub.
 * Susie: Can I feed this one, Mrs. Seasmith? Can I?
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Of course, Susie. But be careful. They sometimes bite the hand that feeds them.
 * (The Hand Opens Up and Hits the Flytrap)
 * Susie: Don't worry. I'll be careful.
 * (The Flytrap Eats the Steak and Swallows it)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: How many times do I have to tell you? Chew before you swallow.
 * (Flytrap Burps)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: See?
 * Sandy: Let's split up. They must have something to eat in this garden.
 * SpongeBob: Right. I'll go this way.
 * Patrick: Hey, I found some tomatoes.
 * (Patrick Picks a Tomato and Gets Splattered)
 * Patrick: Some rotten tomatoes.
 * Squidward: Here's some squash.
 * (Squidward Picks Up a Squash and it Squishes)
 * Squidward: Yuck. Some squished squash.
 * (Pearl Pokes a Hole in the Watermelon, and it Deflates)
 * Pearl: And these watermelons have expired.
 * Squidward: Everything in this garden is completely rotten.
 * Selena: Thanks. We do our best.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: But every so often, something fresh sneaks in.
 * (Linda Throws Away the Corn)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Thank you, Linda.
 * Linda: Ripe corn, yuck.
 * Squidward: Oh, boy. What I wouldn't give for a pizza right now.
 * Wendy: How much allowance do you have left, Selena?
 * Selena: Uh, a Transylvania dollar.
 * Wendy: Well, we should have enough. Get flappin'.
 * (Selena Turns into a Bat and Flies Off)
 * (Squidward Yells as She Faints)
 * (SpongeBob Looks Around for Food)
 * (An Eye Looks at Him)
 * (SpongeBob Yells): Squidward! Look! My Eyes!
 * (The Eye was a Crystal Ball)
 * SpongeBob: My Eyes! My Eyes! Help Me!
 * Squidward: My Rice? Where is it?
 * SpongeBob: No. That one, My Eyes.
 * Squidward: Oh! My Eyes! Aaaah! Why didn't you tell me so?
 * SpongeBob: I did.
 * (The Crystal Ball Hides)
 * Sandy: I see no eyes, SpongeBob.
 * Squidward: You were imagining, Sponge. Hunger makes you do that, you know.
 * (SpongeBob Glares at Squidward)
 * (Wendy Howls): You won't be hungry for long, guys.
 * (Selena Turns Back to a Human After Coming Back with the Pizza)
 * Selena: One pizza to go with everything on it. Except garlic of course.
 * Squidward: Smells awesome.
 * Mr. Krabs: Smells great.
 * Squidward: Yeah.
 * (They Eat the Pizza)
 * Pearl: Hey, what's on this stuff?
 * Selena: Oh, spiderwebs, snails, and tadpole tails.
 * (Pearl and Sandy Gulp)
 * Sandy: Delicious.
 * SpongeBob: Yes. While we're snacking, you girls get cracking.
 * Patrick: Meet you back at the school.
 * Linda: All right, coach.
 * (The Crystal Ball Takes a Peek)
 * Discoloration: So, Mrs. Seasmith's girls have a new coach, eh? (Sinister Laughing) Ooh, they'll fit perfectly into my plan.
 * Underfloor: It was a good thing I watch my crystal ball to see them. (Giggles)
 * Discoloration: You have done well, my Underfloor. Soon I will have those good little ghouls in my grasp. And then, I, Discoloration, the witch of the web, will be the most powerful witch in all of monsterdom. (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Underfloor Laughing)
 * (Bagantulas Laughing)
 * (Scene Fades to the Ball Flying)

Preparations:

 * (Roland Hits the Ball)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Nice spike, Roland. That's the kind of teamwork we need for Jacobs Military to stay on top.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative. Those girls don't stand a chance against my behind the back pass attack.
 * Ken: On the leather with Jacobs!
 * Colonel Jacobs: That's the spirit, men!
 * Jimmy: Yes, sir!
 * (Thomas Catches Roland as the Ball Hits his Head)
 * Jeff Rogers: No fair, Thomas. That's a carry.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Keep using your head, Rogers. I'm going over to Mrs. Seasmith's to arrange our game.
 * (Scene Fades to Colonel Jacobs Walking to Mrs. Seasmith's School)
 * (Colonel Jacobs Rings the Doorbell)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: All that exercise really loosened you up, Susie, a little too much.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, Mrs. Seasmith, it's me, Colonel Jacobs.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Will you get the door for me, Selena?
 * Selena: You bet I will.
 * (Selena Changes into a Bat)
 * (The Door Opens Magically)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Mrs. Seasmith? Anybody home?
 * (Colonel Jacobs Looks Shocked)
 * (Selena Flies Closer)
 * (Scene Fades Black)
 * (Selena Screeching)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Stay back! That's a direct order!
 * (Selena Changes Back into a Human)
 * Selena: Anything you say, Colonel Jacobs.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Huh? Uh, where did you come from, young lady?
 * Selena: Uh, up there. Mrs. Seasmith said to make yourself comfortable. She'll be down as soon as she wraps things up. (She Changes Back into a Bat)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Affirmative. Thank you, young lad-- This school must have bats in this spell fray.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Finds a Chair and Examines it)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Hmm. Could stand a little spit and polish.
 * (The Chair Traps Colonel Jacobs)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Ah, Colonel Jacobs. How nice of you to pay us a visit.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, Mrs. Seasmith, th-this chair, it's--
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Yes, it's a collector's item. Early inquisition, but not very comfortable, I'm afraid. Would you prefer a softer chair?
 * (The Chair Releases the Traps)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, t-t-thank you.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Finds a Better Chair, and Checks to Make Sure Nothing Happens)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Now, how about some tea and sweets?
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, negative, Mrs. Seasmith. I'm on a strict military diet.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Nonsense, Colonel. You must taste my fudge. (Rings Gong)
 * (Tevin, the Butler Brings Mrs. Seasmith a Fudge Plate)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): I made it this morning.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Well, if you insist. Uh, thank you.
 * (Tevin Pours Mrs. Seasmith a Drink)
 * (Mrs. Seasmith Takes a Bite of the Fudge): Mm-mm-mmmmm. Delicious, if I do say so myself.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Takes a Bite and Thinks for Minute): Uh, doesn't it taste a little, uh, moldy?
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Of course, Colonel. (She Eats the Fudge) Fungus Fudge always tastes moldy.
 * (Tevin Wipes Mrs. Seasmith's Mouth)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Fungus Fudge?! (Sips the Tea)
 * (Fiery Catches the Fudge and Eats it)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Yes. It goes so well with Toadstool Tea.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Toadstool Tea?!
 * (He Drops the Cup on Fiery's Head)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: More tea, Colonel?
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, negative, Mrs. Seasmith. I think it's time we arranged our annual volleyball game.
 * (Fiery Looks Angry and Starts Marching to Him)
 * Colonel Jacobs: My cadets are looking forward to winning again this year. Isn't it getting a bit warm in here?
 * Mrs. Seasmith: It's going to get a lot hotter on the volleyball court, Colonel. We got a new coach, and I'd like you to meet him.
 * (Tevin Rings the Bell)
 * (The Stairs Turn into a Slide, Causing SpongeBob and his Friends to Slide Down)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): SpongeBob, I want you to meet Colonel Jacobs.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Hello. (Screams as his Bottom is Burnt)
 * SpongeBob: Don't get up on my account, Colonel.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Cleans his Bottom Off)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Bad boy, Fiery!
 * (Fiery Grumbling)
 * Pearl: We're ready to play your game whenever you say, Colonel.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Affirmative. We'll rendezvous within 1400 hours. Prepare to synchronize watches.
 * SpongeBob: Watches synchronized.
 * Patrick: Synchronized.
 * (Tevin Synchronizes his Watch)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Check. Over and out.
 * Sandy: Crikey, it looks like the Colonel's already warmed up for the game.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: You'd better start getting the girls ready, Squidward.
 * Squidward: Why the rush, Mrs. S? We have got 1400 hours before the match. That's a lot of time.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. (Eats a Fudge) A lot.
 * Patrick: But, Squidward, 1400 hours means 2:00. We've only got an hour.
 * Squidward: Why didn't you say so, Patrick? Don't just stand there. It's time to work out!

Daily Swim:

 * (Wendy Howling)
 * (Stone Pirates Cover Their Ears)
 * (Paula Giggling)
 * (Wendy Howling)
 * (Vultures Put Earphones Over their Ears)
 * SpongeBob: That's it, girls. Scream, 2, 3, 4.
 * (Girls Screaming)
 * Patrick (Off-Screen): Howl, 2, 3, 4.
 * (Wendy Howling)
 * SpongeBob (Off-Screen): That's keeping your cape in shape, Selena.
 * Selena: Thanks a lot, SpongeBob.
 * Susie: And I'm keeping my tape in shape.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: You definitely are, Susie. Scare Aerobics are good for everyone.
 * (The Hand Taps its Fingers)
 * Patrick: That's it, Linda. Don't bend your knees.
 * (Fiery Bounces on his Tail Happily)
 * (Paula Laughing)
 * Sandy: Gee, Paula, exercising sure is fun.
 * (Paula Hits the Wall)
 * Paula: Yes. It's really off the wall.
 * Sandy: I think more into the wall.
 * (Patrick Panting): Okay, guys, it's time for some deep breathing exercises.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: You mean deep shrieking, Patrick. Show her, girls.
 * (Susie Breathing)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): In. Out. In. Out.
 * (Susie Breathing, Shrieks)
 * Selena: Sounds awesome, kid. You got the fright stuff.
 * (Selena Changes into a Bat, Screeching)
 * (Selena Flies By SpongeBob)
 * (SpongeBob Yells and Falls Back)
 * SpongeBob: Oops.
 * (Fiery Growling)
 * (SpongeBob Yells)
 * (SpongeBob Runs Away, But Fiery Follows him)
 * Patrick: In. Out. In. Out.
 * (SpongeBob Yells)
 * (Fiery Blows Fire 4 Times at SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob: Yikes! Yikes! Yikes! Yikes!
 * Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. That's deep breathing.
 * (SpongeBob is Running from Fiery): Yikes!
 * Patrick (Off-Screen): And deep shrieking.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Come on, girls. Let's here it.
 * (Seasmith Girls Screaming)
 * Vulture #1: I hate all this screaming.
 * Vulture# 2: Me, too. I'm flappin' out. (Cawing)
 * (Meanwhile, at Jacobs, the Boys were Training Too)
 * (They were Doing Toe-Touches in the Courtyard when They Heard Screaming from Seasmith)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Get a load of that racket coming from the Seasmith place.
 * Jeff Rogers: Whew. And I thought Jacobs was tough. That school sounds like torture.
 * Jimmy: Well, you know what they say: No pain, no gain. More weight, Roland.
 * Roland: Aye, aye, Jimmy.
 * Jimmy: More weight.
 * Thomas Schaeffer (Off-Screen): Here comes the colonel.
 * Roland: Attention!
 * (Roland Salutes but Drops the Sack on Jimmy who Falls in the Hole)
 * Colonel Jacobs: At ease, men.
 * (Thomas, Jeff, Ken, and Roland Drop Their Arms from Saluting, Except for Jimmy)
 * Colonel Jacobs: I said at ease, Jimmy.
 * Jimmy: Thank you, sir. (He Falls)
 * Colonel Jacobs: I just wanna say that no matter what happens on the volleyball court this afternoon, YOU'VE GOTTA WIN!!
 * Thomas, Roland, Jeff, and Ken: Yes, sir!
 * Captain Jacobs: Do you want this trophy to stay at Jacobs Military School?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Affirmative. We won't let you down, sir.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Looks at his Watch): 1400 hours approaches. Prepare to engage the enemy!
 * (Jimmy Leaps out of the Hole, Growling)
 * (He Runs Tackling a Pile of Sacks he was Training with)
 * Jimmy: Those Seasmith Girls don't know what hit them.
 * (Jimmy Laughs Before Another Sack Landed on Top of Him)
 * Patrick: That's it, girls! Rattle those chains!
 * (Susie is Pumping Herself)
 * Patrick: Keep your chin up, girl. You mommy would be proud.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Oh, my! It's a minute to 2:00. Those Jacobs Cadets will be arriving any minute.
 * Squidward: Just enough time to loosen up the old neck muscles, Sponge.
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh, neck muscles.
 * (Paula Laughing): Is this loose enough?
 * (SpongeBob Loosens his Neck by Spinning and Gets Stuck)
 * Squidward: Wow, SpongeBob. You really know how to loosen these neck muscles.
 * (SpongeBob's Neck Spins Out of Control as He Screams)
 * (SpongeBob Falls Out of the Window and into the Moat, We Hear a Splash)
 * (He Rises his Head Out of the Water)
 * Patrick: This is not the time to go swimming, SpongeBob. We have a volleyball game.
 * Mr. Krabs: But everyone says swimming is great exercise, Patrick.
 * (Sharks Approach SpongeBob)
 * Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. And it looks like SpongeBob is gonna get a lot of exercise.
 * (The 2-Headed Shark Approach SpongeBob)
 * (SpongeBob Screams in Terror): Patrick! Help!
 * (The Sharks Swim After SpongeBob)
 * SpongeBob: Patrick! Help!
 * Patrick: Keep paddling, Sponge! We're on our way!
 * Mr. Krabs: Us, too!
 * Linda: Us, first. We love swimming.
 * Gay: Let's go for it.
 * (SpongeBob Crying in Fear): Help!
 * (Linda and Gay Jump and Land on the Sharks)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: They'd be much better divers if they learned to keep their feet together.
 * (Linda Rises her Head Out of the Water): Come on in! The water's fine!
 * Anne: Geronimo!
 * Millie: Look out below!
 * (Wendy Jumps, Howling)
 * (Selena Chuckles): Oh, Wendy. You werewolves are such show-offs.
 * (Wendy and Selena Jump on the Sharks' Heads)
 * (Wendy Spits Water out of her Mouth)
 * Selena: Oh, this water is as warm as a bat-tub.
 * Pearl: Come on, girls. Let's get in the swim of things.
 * (Squidward, Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl Jump in)
 * (Paula Giggling): Wait for us, Coach!
 * Susie: My mummy taught me to swim. I can do a Nile and a half.
 * (Susie Jumps Down)
 * Squidward: Nile and a half? Only in Egypt, right, Mr. Krabs?
 * (They Jump on the Shark's Head)
 * (Susie Jumps on the Shark's Head)
 * (The Sharks Swim Away)
 * Patrick: One lap around the moat, everyone, then it's out of the water.
 * Pearl: And on to the volleyball court.
 * Linda: Uh-huh. Right, Coach.
 * Selena: We're ready for those Jacobs Cadets.
 * (Wendy Howls): Go, Seasmith! (Howling)
 * (Paula Laughing)
 * Susie: I'm gonna bring a trophy home to my mummy.
 * (The Crystal Balls Sees the Girls)
 * Discoloration: Are you keeping a close eye on those girl ghouls, Underfloor?
 * Underfloor: Yes, Discoloration. As you commanded, I won't let them out of my sight.
 * Discoloration: Excellent.
 * Pearl: Here, Sandy. Let me help you dry off.
 * (Water Splashes at Discoloration and Underfloor)
 * Sandy (Off-Screen): Thanks, Pearl. I needed that.
 * Discoloration: Fool. Next time, don't plant your crystal ball by the moat.
 * Underfloor: Sorry, Discoloration.

The Volleyball Game/Seasmith All the Way:

 * (Thomas Laughs): Look, guys, those Seasmith Girls are all washed up before we even play 'em.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Fiery, I think the girls could you use a quick blow dry.
 * Fiery: Yeah, give 'em a blow dry. (She Spews to Give the Girls a Blow Dry)
 * Selena: Ohh, I hope this isn't a permanent wave.
 * (Wendy Howls): Those cadets make my hair stand on end.
 * Squidward: Next time, your mummy should dress you a non-shrink wrapping.
 * Susie: Thanks, Squidward. (She Hops Away)
 * Gay: Boy, that was refreshing.
 * Rebecca: I feel as clean as a whistle again.
 * Linda: You know, girls, you should show us the right moves and try to get to know us better.
 * Paula: Tell you what. The rest of you can watch the game while the 5 of us play.
 * Anne: Exactly. They wouldn't lose anything.
 * Millie: I can't wait to see you win out there!
 * Becky: So, you girls wanna sit and watch the game?
 * Melanie: I guess so. We knew should be a bit easy.
 * Elsa: Indeed it was.
 * Ken: If you girls are through playing around, we've got a game to win.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Then let the game begin!
 * Colonel Jacobs: Uh, negative, Mrs. Seasmith. This volleyball court is a disaster area. You don't even have a net.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Not yet. Smith!
 * (Smith Makes a Net with a Web)
 * Squidward: You were saying, Colonel?
 * Colonel Jacobs: And I was saying this court doesn't have any boundary lines.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Coming right up.
 * (Mrs. Seasmith Bangs the Gong)
 * (Tevin Makes Some Boundary Lines)
 * SpongeBob: Any other complaints, Colonel?
 * Colonel Jacobs: Well, we need a referee.
 * SpongeBob: You're looking at him. SpongeBob. I call 'em as I see 'em.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Let's flip to see who serves first.
 * Wendy: No problem. (Howling)
 * Jimmy: That girl's flipped. We're supposed to flip a coin.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.
 * Squidward: Why didn't you say so? Anybody got a quarter?
 * (The Hand Brings a Quarter)
 * Squidward: Thanks. Heads.
 * Ken (Off-Screen): Looks more like hands.
 * Squidward: Heads! See for yourself, Colonel.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Affirmative. Seasmith serves first.
 * Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl: Go, go, Seasmith!
 * Sandy: Give it all you got, Linda.
 * Linda: Okay, coach.
 * (Linda Hits the Ball, and it Goes Through the Net, Hitting Thomas and Jimmy)
 * SpongeBob: Net ball!
 * Ken: I think it's a net loss.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Smith, on the double.
 * (Smith Fixes the Net)
 * Sandy: Try to hit the ball a little higher.
 * Linda: Okay, coach.
 * (Linda Hits the Ball Again)
 * Wendy: Oh, nice hit.
 * (The Ball Comes Down)
 * Roland: I got it! (The Ball Hits him) I mean, I had it.
 * SpongeBob: Point goes to Seasmith!
 * (The Hand Puts a One on Seasmith's Point)
 * Patrick: Go, go, Seasmith! (She Shakes Mrs. Seasmith's Hands While Pearl is Giggling)
 * (Scene Fades to the Hand Putting a 10 on Jacobs's Point)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Good serve, cadet. Keep pressing the attack.
 * Jimmy: Yes, sir. (Growling)
 * (Jimmy Hits the Ball)
 * (Paula Hits the Ball, But Goes Through it, Laughing): I got it!
 * Ken: Hey, she hit the net!
 * Jeff Rogers: Hit it? She went through it!
 * SpongeBob: That's a fowl. Jacobs's point.
 * Jacobs Cadets: On the leather with Jacobs!
 * (The Hand Puts an 11 on Jacobs's Point)
 * Susie: We're never gonna win that trophy, Selena.
 * Selena: You bet we are! (Howls)
 * (Selena Changes into a Bat and Hits the Ball)
 * (Thomas Falls)
 * SpongeBob: Nice spike, Selena!
 * (Selena Changes Back into a Human)
 * Selena: Thanks, SpongeBob.
 * (Selena Goes to Thomas and Takes the Ball)
 * Selena: Our serve, cadet.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: I must be going batty.
 * Selena: Here, Susie. Let's see an awesome serve.
 * (Susie Hits the Ball)
 * Jeff and Ken: I've got it! I've got it!
 * (Susie Hits it Again)
 * Jeff and Ken: I've got it!
 * Susie: I've got it!
 * (Jeff and Ken Hit the Net and it Breaks)
 * SpongeBob: You hit the net, cadets. We're all tied up.
 * (The Hand Puts an 11 on Seasmith's Point)
 * Wendy: I'd say they're all tied up. (Howling Laugh)
 * Paula: That's a howl, Wendy! (Giggling)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Oh, Smith!
 * (Smith Goes to the Net and Refuses)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): I'll give you 6 extra flies for supper.
 * (Smith Doesn't Want that)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: All right, all right, a dozen flies.
 * (Smith Remakes the Net)
 * Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl: Let's go, Seasmith!
 * Sandy: Oh, hot dogs! Mmm-mm. One, please.
 * Squidward: Make that two.
 * (Fiery Lights the Hot Dogs)
 * Squidward: Thanks, Fiery. All this winning really works up an appetite, you know.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: They won't be winning for long. I've planted a remote control device in the volleyball.
 * (The Jacobs Cadets Put their Hands in the Middle)
 * Jeff Rogers (Off-Screen): Affirmative.
 * Jimmy (Off-Screen): Goodbye, Seasmith.
 * (Scene Fades Black)
 * (Susie Gets Ready to Hit the Ball, and Does)
 * Linda: That looks good, Susie.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: I'll make it look bad.
 * (The Ball Flies Up)
 * Ken: That serve is loco.
 * (The Wrapping Causes Susie to Fly)
 * Susie: Whoa!
 * SpongeBob: Outta bounds.
 * (Susie Still Flies)
 * SpongeBob: Way outta bounds.
 * (CRASH)
 * (The Ball Falls Down to Thomas)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Then it's Jacobs's ball. (Giddy Laughing)
 * (Scene Fades to an Unhappy Susie)
 * Linda: Don't worry, Susie. We'll get it back.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Not unless this battery runs out. (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Jeff Hits the Ball)
 * Wendy: It's all mine!
 * (Thomas Laughs and Hits the Button on the Remote)
 * Wendy: Huh? (She Falls)
 * Selena: I'll save it, Wendy.
 * (Selena Spins Backwards)
 * Selena: What a backspin.
 * Colonel Jacobs: On the leather with Jacobs!
 * (The Hand Puts a 12 on Jacobs's Point)
 * (Sandy Eats the Hotdog)
 * Squidward: Crickey. This doesn't look good.
 * (Sandy Takes the Hotdog from Squidward's Hand and Eats it)
 * Sandy: Tastes good.
 * Squidward: We gotta catch up.
 * Sandy: Ketchup? Okay.
 * (Sandy Puts Ketchup on his Hotdog)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Prepare for another hit, Jeff, with our secret weapon.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.
 * (Sandy Eats the Hotdog, and the Ketchup Flies Through)
 * (The Ketchup Hits Jeff who Hits the Ball)
 * Jeff Rogers: Hey! I've been sneak attacked.
 * (The Ball Bounces Back from the Net and Hits Thomas)
 * (The Remote Falls Out of Thomas's Hand and Flies into Sandy's Mouth)
 * (Sandy Hiccups)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Nice work, Jeff. Now our remote control is...
 * (Sandy Hiccups)
 * (The Ball Flies on its Own)
 * Thomas Schaeffer (Off-Screen): AWOL.
 * (The Ball Bounces and Hits Colonel Jacobs, Knocking his Hat Off)
 * Colonel Jacobs: Not only do we lose the ball, but I lose my hat.
 * (Sandy Hiccups): Excuse me. (Hiccups)
 * (The Ball Hits Colonel Jacobs)
 * Squidward: Thanks, Colonel. It is our serve, right, Sandy?
 * Sandy: Right, Squidward. (Hiccups)
 * (The Ball Bounces on Squidward, Who Falls)
 * (Wendy Hits the Ball as She Howls)
 * (Ken and Roland Dodge)
 * (The Hand Puts a 15 and a 16 on Seasmith's Point)
 * Jimmy: On the leather with Jacobs.
 * (Susie Misses the Ball)
 * (The Hand Puts an 18 and a 19 on Jacobs's Point)
 * Colonel Jacobs: 2 more points, men. The victory is ours.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Yeah. We can beat these girls without military assistance.
 * (Thomas Hits the Ball)
 * Roland: Whoa.
 * (Linda Hits the Ball)
 * Roland: What a spike.
 * (The Ball Comes Up from Underneath the Chair)
 * Colonel Jacobs: That ball is outta bounds.
 * (The Chair Falls)
 * SpongeBob: But it hit in first. Seasmith's ball.
 * Pearl: Go, go, Seasmith!
 * (Fiery Blows Fire, and Accidentally Burns the Flag From Which Pearl was Waving)
 * Pearl: Huh?
 * (The Crystal Ball Shows Up)
 * (Wendy Howls and Hits the Ball)
 * (The Ball Hits Jeff and Ken)
 * Underfloor: Those girls are strong, Discoloration.
 * Discoloration: Just like their parents, Underfloor, but soon I will be more powerful than all of them.
 * (The Hand Puts a 20 on Seasmith's Point)
 * Squidward: This is it, girls! Serve up a good win, Selena.
 * Selena: You bet I will.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: This jet pack will set you up to spike that serve, Jimmy.
 * Jimmy: My pleasure. I'll pulverize 'em.
 * (Selena Throws the Ball and Hits it as a Bat)
 * Jimmy: Take that, you bat.
 * Susie: I can't reach it!
 * Sandy: I can't look! (Hiccups)
 * (The Ball Bounces Back and Hits Jimmy)
 * Jimmy: Huh?
 * (The Ball Hits Ken, Jeff, Roland, and Thomas)
 * (The Ball is Out of the Field)
 * SpongeBob: That's out, Colonel, and so are you. Seasmith wins.
 * (The Hand Puts a 21 on Seasmith's Point)
 * (The Seasmith Girls Cheer)
 * (Selena, Linda, and Paula Have Squidward)
 * (Madeline and Wendy Have Sandy)
 * Selena: You were awesome, coach.
 * Squidward: Oh, it was nothing, really.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: I think we get the trophy this year, Colonel Jacobs.
 * Colonel Jacobs: There must be some mistake. I won't hand it over.
 * (The Hand Takes the Trophy from Colonel Jacobs and Gives it to Mrs. Seasmith)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Thank you, Colonel. Here, Susie. For your mummy case.
 * Susie: Thanks, Mrs. Seasmith!
 * Thomas Schaeffer: I don't get it. We had that tactics.
 * Jeff Rogers: We had the strategy.
 * Ken: We had the equipment.
 * Jimmy: But we still lost.
 * Roland: Affirmative.
 * Colonel Jacobs: No moping, men. The Jacobs code says "Retreat with dignity."
 * (Sandy Hiccupping)
 * (The Ball Bounces with Colonel Jacobs on it)
 * (Sandy Hiccupping)
 * (Colonel Jacobs Bounces Away)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Looks like the Jacobs code just got broken.
 * Jeff Rogers: Double affirmative.

Open House/Meet the Parents:

 * (Wendy Howling)
 * Wendy: This is gonna be our happiest Halloween ever.
 * Susie: Because we have a trophy to show off at our open house!
 * Pearl: Open house? Is that like a party?
 * Selena: It's only the biggest even of the Seasmith school year.
 * Squidward: Will there be food?
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Scream as a Skeleton is Hung)
 * Selena: Oh, lots of goodies, Squidward. Mrs. Seasmith is in the kitchen right now.
 * Squidward: What are we waiting for? Come on!
 * SpongeBob: Excuse us!
 * (Scene Fades to Mrs. Seasmith Making Brownies)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Oh, I just love making brownies.
 * SpongeBob: Brownies?! Boy, oh, boy!
 * Squidward: Can we give you a hand, Mrs. Seasmith?
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Thanks, Squidward. I've already got one. But you and SpongeBob can lick the bowl.
 * Squidward: Thanks.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, thanks.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Okay, Fiery. Ready to bake a batch of brownies?
 * Fiery: Yeah! (Spews Fire on the Tray)
 * Selena: Mmm. Something smells rotten.
 * (Squidward Slurps from the Bowl)
 * Squidward: You said it, Selena.
 * (SpongeBob Slurps from the Bowl)
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, really rotten.
 * Selena: Deliciously rotten. Swamp brownies fresh from the oven.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Made with slimy swamp water, chock full of mosquitos.
 * Squidward: Slimy!!! There's itching in the kitchen, Sponge!
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh! (Giggling)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Paula, are the caterpillar cookies ready to bake yet?
 * Paula: They will be as soon as I can 'em. (Giggling)
 * Squidward: This kitchen is just crawling with snacks, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
 * Paula: Nothing's too good for our guests. (Giggling)
 * Pearl: So, who's coming to this open house, anyway?
 * Selena: Everyone, Pearl. My daddy, Dracula.
 * Pearl: That's your daddy?
 * Selena: It's a bat picture of him. But he'll show up after sundown.
 * Patrick: Gosh! It's almost sundown now, SpongeBob. That's when the vampire starts biting.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, no! (He Runs Away)
 * Patrick: Wait for me, Sponge!
 * Linda: Stop!
 * (SpongeBob and Patrick Skid to a Stop)
 * Linda: You've gotta meet Mr. and Ms. Frankenstein.
 * Millie: And don't forget Mr. and Ms. Pumpkin.
 * Gay: I also want you to meet Zardy and Cablecrow.
 * Melanie: These are my parents Mr. and Ms. Cat.
 * Rebecca: And this is Mr. and Ms. Blob.
 * Becky: And don't forget to me Pirate Sr. and Ms. Pirate.
 * Anne: You also have to meet Mr. Wizard and Ms. Witch.
 * Elsa: I want you to meet Mr. Alien and Ms. Alien.
 * Susie: And my mummy parents.
 * Wendy: Oh, don't forget Mama and Papa Werewolf.
 * (SpongeBob and Patrick Keep Running Until Paula Stops Them)
 * Paula: And my phantom parents. (Hysterical Laughing)
 * Patrick: Holy!
 * (SpongeBob Jumps into Patrick's Arms)
 * Patrick: We're all gonna be trapped in a house full of m-m-m-monsters!
 * (Thunderclap)
 * (Scene Fades to Black)
 * (It's a Rainy Night)
 * (Frankenstein Parents Groaning)
 * (The Crystal Balls Spies on the Monster Mothers)
 * Underfloor (Off-Screen): Here they come, Discoloration.
 * (The Werewolf Parents and Frankenstein Parents Run inside)
 * (The Bat Turns into a Vampire Human of Dracula)
 * Underfloor (Off-Screen): The mightiest monsters in the world.
 * Count Dracula: Let me cape you out of the rain, Mr. Mummy.
 * Mr. Mummy: Thank you, Count. This wrap isn't water proof.
 * Discoloration: Ah, they were the mightiest, but now they've grown soft. Soon Discoloration will be the most feared name in the monster world, when I get those girl ghouls in my clutches.
 * (The Bagantula Tries to Bite Discoloration's Hand)
 * (Discoloration Smacks the Bat Causing it to Spin)
 * (Scene Fades to SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy, Linda, and Wendy Playing Checkers)
 * (Frankensteins Groaning)
 * Linda: Mama! Dada!
 * (Mama and Papa Werewolf Howling)
 * Wendy: My parents are calling me.
 * (Mama and Papa Werewolf Howling)
 * Patrick: Everyone's running off, Sponge. Why don't we?
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh!
 * Patrick: Quick! Into this elevator.
 * Sandy (Off-Screen): Holy, SpongeBob, are we gonna meet the rest of the folks?
 * SpongeBob: No, Sandy.
 * (They Run inside a Room, and Put Heavy Objects to the Doors)
 * Squidward: We should be safe now, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: I hope so, Squidward.
 * (The Drawer Opens)
 * Sandy (Off-Screen): We have company, SpongeBob.
 * (Paula Laughing): So there you are. Mother, Father, meet my new teachers.
 * Phantom Father: Paula's told us so much about you.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Scream)
 * (SpongeBob Holds Sandy's Hand as He and Squidward Run)
 * Paula (Off-Screen): See, Mother? They just love to exercise.
 * Squidward: Out here, Sponge.
 * (The Bats of Dracula and Selena Fly in)
 * SpongeBob: Oh, no! Help!
 * (SpongeBob Runs While Squidward, Holding Sandy's Hand, Runs with him)
 * Squidward: This is bat news! Yeow!
 * (Dracula Turns into a Human)
 * Count Dracula: It's so nice to see new blood at Seasmith.
 * Squidward: You don't want mine. It's chicken blood.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, chicken. (Clucks)
 * Count Dracula: Selena, these 2 are batty than we are.
 * Selena: They are a bit strange, Daddy. But they're awesome teachers.
 * Mr. Krabs: We were lucky, Squidward, but it's time to bug out of here.
 * Patrick: Positively!
 * Pearl: But then we won't meet the other parents.
 * (Mr. Krabs Hugs Pearl in Fear)
 * Mr. Krabs: I hope you're right, Pearl.
 * (Patrick and Mr. Krabs Scream)
 * Linda: There they are, Ma!
 * Ms. Frankenstein: Come to us.
 * Mr. Mummy: Yes, let's a closer look at these 3.
 * (Mr. Mummy Wraps SpongeBob and Squidward)
 * Mr. Mummy: Who are you?
 * SpongeBob: SpongeBob.
 * Sandy: And Sandy, too.
 * Mr. Krabs: Don't hurt SpongeBob. It's our own fault we're here.
 * Mr. Mummy: Hurt you? I'm trying to hug you, for making my daughter feel like a winner.
 * Papa Werewolf: I'll howl to that.
 * Mama Werewolf: Let's give 'em three cheers.
 * (Mama, Papa and Wendy Howl 3 Times)
 * (Ghouls Cheering)
 * (The Hand Rings the Bell)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Now that everyone's acquainted, let's go downstairs for refreshments.
 * (Scene Fades to the Outside of the School)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Have some Halloween punch, everybody.
 * (Everybody Has Halloween Punch)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: That's the spirit, boys.
 * Squidward: Very good, right, Sponge?
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: It's an old Seasmith recipe. Poison Ivy punch made from scratch.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Scratch)
 * Pearl: Gee, Wendy, what's that?
 * Wendy: Something for my parents, Pearl. I made it in arts and crafts class. (She Puts a Ball in an Iron Maiden Toy) It's a juicer. Now you can have bitter lemonade whenever you want, Mama and Papa.
 * Mama Werewolf: That's Pearlutiful, Wendy. (She Drinks the Lemonade)
 * Papa Werewolf: Oh, nice and sour. It makes her whiskers pucker.
 * Gay: I made a tower figurine for you Mom and Dad. I hope you like it.
 * Cablecrow: You know we do.
 * Zardy: It's just about the cutest tower we've ever seen. Thank you, Gay.
 * Gay: You're welcome.
 * Selena: I made this for you, Daddy. It's a bat robe.
 * Count Dracula: Wonderful. Just what I need after a rainy flight. Let me try it on.
 * (Dracula Changes into a Bat)
 * (Selena Puts the Robe on Dracula)
 * Selena (Off-Screen): Oh, awesome. It fits.
 * (Dracula Screeching)
 * Selena: See for yourself.
 * LaVerne: How is it, dear?
 * (Dracula Screeches): That's wonderful.
 * Squidward: Nice robe, Count. But that's no reflection on you. Right, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. (Giggles) I think.
 * (Dracula Changes Back into a Human)
 * Count Dracula: What a wonderful gift.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: All the girls worked very hard on their presents.
 * (Fiery Feels Sad and Left Out)
 * Selena: Don't feel left out, Fiery. I made a robe for you, too, and it's fire proof.
 * (Fiery Spews Fire on the Robe and it Doesn't Affect it)
 * Becky: I made this bell instrument for you, Mom. It'll help you wake up in the morning.
 * Pirate Sr.: What do you think, dear.
 * Ms. Pirate: It's nice, Becky.
 * Becky: I thought you'd like it.
 * Linda: I made my present in science class. It's a portable shock-man.
 * (She Charges the Shock)
 * Linda: With a rechargeable batter pack that lasts for we-e-e-e-eeks. For you, guys.
 * (Mr. Frankenstein Puts the Earphones and Shocks Himself): This puts volts in my bolts. Thank you, Linda. (He Pats Linda's Head)
 * Linda: Welcome, Dada. I thought you'd get a charge out of it.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Show your mummy parents what you made, Susie.
 * (Susie Shows her Parents a Mummy Case Toy)
 * Susie (Off-Screen): It's a fright light, to brighten the darkest mummy case.
 * Mr. Mummy: What a thoughtful gift, Susie.
 * Millie: I bought a pet snake for you, guys. So, do you like it?
 * Ms. Pumpkin: We love it! (Hugs Millie) Thanks, Millie.
 * Rebecca: I found some seashells for you, Mom and Dad. I hope you like them.
 * Mr. Blob and Ms. Blob: We love them.
 * Melanie: I didn't make anything, but all the slime is all I have.
 * Mr. Cat: That's okay, Melanie. We love your slime.
 * Ms. Cat: You said it, dear.
 * Elsa: It's a planet book, to see these pages.
 * Mr. Alien: What a perfect reading.
 * Ms. Alien: You're so good, Elsa.
 * Anne: I made these pots and pans for you, Dad.
 * Mr. Wizard: Excellent. (He Bangs on the Pots and Pans) Them almost sound like drums.
 * Ms. Witch: Very good, Anne. Such a good girl.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Last but not least, your daughter would like to play her latest composition for you.
 * (Paula Laughing Hysterically): It's called Duet for 3 Hands.
 * (Paula Plays the Organ with the Hand)
 * (Tevin Plays the Drum)
 * Paula: And 1 tail. (Hysterical Laughing)
 * (The Crystal Ball Looks Outside)
 * Underfloor: They're having fun, Discoloration.
 * Discoloration: Yes. But soon the party will be over.
 * (Paula Finishes the Song)
 * (Ghouls Cheering)
 * Phantom Mother: Excellent, Paula.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Bravo!
 * (Wendy Howls)
 * Count Dracula: It made my blood run cold.
 * Squidward: Let's give that hand a hand, Sponge.
 * (SpongeBob Smiles at Squidward)
 * (Paula Shakes the Hand)
 * Paula: Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. (Hysterical Laughing)
 * (Bell Rings)
 * Count Dracula: It will soon be dawn. We must be on our way, Selena.
 * Selena: I know, Daddy.
 * Papa Werewolf: The moon is going down, Wendy. We'd better run, too.
 * Squidward: See you next year.
 * LaVerne: In the meantime, we want you to take good care of our little Selena.
 * Count Dracula: What she said.
 * Squidward: You can count on us, Count.
 * Count Dracula: Good. Because if anything happens to her, it will be a bat day for you.
 * Papa Werewolf: That goes for Wendy, too. (Howls)
 * Mr. Wizard: You take care of Anne.
 * Mr. Alien: You keep an eye on Elsa.
 * Mr. Blob: Take care of Rebecca.
 * Mr. Cat: And Melanie, too.
 * Zardy: Make sure nothing happens to Gay
 * Pirate Sr.: Keep an eye on Becky.
 * Mr. Pumpkin: Take care of Millie.
 * (Mr. Frankenstein Grabs Squidward and SpongeBob by the Throat)
 * Mr. Frankenstein: Linda is my pride and joy. Don't let me down.
 * (Mr. Frankenstein Puts them Down, and Mr. Mummy Picks Them Back Up)
 * Mr. Mummy: Take care of Susie and her friends, or you're not going to meet a very happy mummy.
 * (Mr. Mummy Puts them Down)
 * (Phantom Father Appears as SpongeBob and Squidward Gasp)
 * Phantom Father: Not to mention foul-tempered phantom.
 * (Phantom Father Leaves)
 * Pearl: Bye, guys. And I thought I was scared. What a friendly bunch of folks, right, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, but I don't like being threatened.
 * Squidward: It's okay, SpongeBob. There's nothing to be afraid of now.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, good.
 * Discoloration: That's what they think. (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Discoloration Walks to the Bagantula)
 * Discoloration: Get ready to fly, little bagantula. You're about to earn your keep.
 * (Discoloration Laughing)
 * (Scene Fades to Black)

Discoloration's Plan/Trip to Lurky Swamp:

 * Discoloration: There's no time to waste, Underfloor. Get cranking.
 * Underfloor: Yes, Discoloration. (He Cranks the Lever, the Skylight Door Opens)
 * (Discoloration Has a Picture of Squidward)
 * Discoloration: This is your target.
 * (Bagantula Can't See it Upside Down)
 * (Discoloration Turns the Picture Upside Down for the Bat to See)
 * (Bagantula is Pleased)
 * Discoloration: Now, heed these words and heed them well. Find those fools and weave them well. Fly, bagantula, fly. Soon those teachers will be learning from me. (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Underfloor Laughing)
 * Discoloration: Don't just stand there. Close that skylight. There's a draft in here.
 * Underfloor: Y-Yes, Discoloration.
 * (Scene Dissolved to the School)
 * (SpongeBob is Sleeping When he Hears the Shades Clapping)
 * (He Pulls the Shades Up and Sees a Bagantula)
 * (SpongeBob Yells): Squidward! Bat! It's a bat!
 * Squidward: Bat? Take this baseball for later this morning, Sponge.
 * (SpongeBob Throws the Ball to the Ground): No, Squidward, bat.
 * Squidward: Calm down, SpongeBob. I'll take a look.
 * (Scene Fades to the Window)
 * Squidward: See? See for yourself, Sponge. Nothing. Let's go back to sleep.
 * SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward.
 * (He Pulls the Curtain Down and the Bagantula is There)
 * SpongeBob: Squidward! Bat shade! Bat shade!
 * Squidward: I'm coming! I'm coming! Oh, boy. Pull yourself together, big brother. See? There's nothing's shady about the shade. Pull yourself together, Sponge.
 * (SpongeBob Pulls the Shade Up, But Rolls into the Shade)
 * (Squidward Snoring)
 * (Bagantula Spies on Squidward)
 * (The Bat Puts Spiderweb Earphones on her Ears)
 * Discoloration's Voice: You will do exactly as I say.
 * Squidward: I will do exactly as you say.
 * Discoloration: In the morning, you will take the girls on a big field trip to the Lurky Swamp.
 * Squidward: Big girls... field trip... to the Lurky Swamp.
 * Discoloration: That's why I'm going to get them.
 * Squidward: The girls are far too strong to challenge.
 * Discoloration: And then those girl ghouls will be mine! (Sinister Laughing)
 * (Squidward Giggling)
 * (Underfloor Laughs and Stops)
 * Discoloration: Don't just stand there. Get to the Lurky Swamp and set my traps.
 * Underfloor: Yes, Discoloration.
 * (Scene Dissolved to the Jacobs Military School)
 * (A Blaring Bugle Barges in Blowing Revile)
 * (Jeff, Roland, and Jimmy Wake up)
 * (Thomas is Still Sleeping)
 * (Bugle Blares to Wake Up Thomas)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Ken, sometimes I'm sorry you ever invented that rolling revile robot.
 * Ken: But it was your idea to give to the colonel for a birthday present.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative. Next year, we give him a pocket watch.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Glad to see you up and at 'em, Cadets. Fantastic invention!
 * (Bugle Blares)
 * Captain Jacobs: As I was saying, you're up early for early morning maneuvers in tough terrain.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: I'll say. That's Lurky Swamp.
 * (Cut to the Seasmith School)
 * Squidward: Good morning, Sponge. It's a good day for a field trip.
 * SpongeBob: It is?
 * Squidward: Yes, just feel that air.
 * (SpongeBob Gets Blown by the Wind)
 * (SpongeBob Hits the Door Flat)
 * (Sandy Wakes Up)
 * Sandy: You knocked, SpongeBob?
 * Squidward: Glad you're up, Sandy. We're just on our way out.
 * (Scene Fades to Outside the School)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Brr. Cold, raw, windy. A good chance of rain. A perfectly rotten day to be outside. So have a great time, girls.
 * (Wendy Howls): We will, Mrs. Seasmith.
 * Mr. Krabs: We're all ready to go.
 * Fiery: Yeah. (Panting)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Sorry, Fiery. You're staying home with me.
 * (Fiery Grumbling)
 * Mr. Krabs: Here we go, gang.
 * Linda: Bye, Mrs. Seasmith!
 * Susie: Bye, Fiery!
 * Mrs. Seasmith: See you later, girls.
 * Fiery: Yeah, see you later. (Grumbles)
 * Patrick: Gee, Mr. Krabs, where are we going for a field trip?
 * Mr. Krabs: Someplace scenic, Patrick. Right here.
 * Patrick: That's Lurky Swamp.
 * SpongeBob: Lurky Swamp?!
 * Selena: Sounds awesome. I'll bet it's crawling with alligators and snakes. (Giggles)
 * SpongeBob: Alligators? Snakes? Oh, no!
 * Paula: Not to mention quicksand. (Hysterical Laughing) I love quicksand.
 * Colonel Jacobs: Today's swamp will take us to Swampy Terrain. Stay close, men, as we use our survival skills to cross this swamp.
 * Jeff Rogers: Yes, sir.
 * (The Colonel Walks Off, Followed by Roland)
 * (Thomas Falls in the Mud)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: The first skill is in ditching the colonel, and finding a dry way out of this swamp.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.
 * (Scene Slides to Colonel Jacobs and Roland Walking Through the Meadow)
 * (Thomas, Ken, Jimmy, and Jeff Go Their Separate Ways)
 * Ken: These field trips are a real drag.
 * Jimmy: And dumb, too.
 * Susie: What do we do now, Patrick?
 * Patrick: Well, now, uh, how about a run through the swamp?
 * Linda: Great! I got plenty of energy.
 * Susie: Wait for me, Linda.
 * Sandy: And SpongeBob and his Friends, too.
 * (Sandy Grabs SpongeBob's Hand)
 * Millie: Wait for us, too. (She Picks Up Anne and Runs with Her)
 * (Wendy Howls): Race you across the swamp, Selena.
 * Selena: Then I think I'll stretch my wings, instead of my legs. (She Turns into a Bat)
 * (She Then Flies Off, with Wendy Jogging)
 * Wendy: Aw, no fair, Selena. We're supposed to be running, not riding.
 * (A Foot Trips Wendy)
 * Underfloor: Gotcha.
 * Wendy: Boy, have you got the wrong girl. (Howls) Hi-yah!
 * (Underfloor Moans, and Growls): You can't escape Underfloor.
 * Wendy: Then I guess you've never chased a werewolf before, creepy.
 * (Underfloor Grunts)
 * Wendy: This looks like a great place to hide. (Howls) I gave him the slip.
 * (Screeching Sound)
 * (Wendy Gasps)
 * (The Bagantula Try to Attack Wendy)
 * Wendy: Oh, no, you don't!
 * (Wendy Hits the Bagantula with a Hammer)
 * (The Bagantula Flies Out the Window)
 * Underfloor: Oh, no. Discoloration is gonna kill me. (Worried Panicking)
 * (Scene Dissolves)

Alligators:

 * (Cut to the School)
 * Mrs. Seasmith (Off-Screen): Is my cauldron bubbling yet, Fiery?
 * (She Comes in the Kitchen to Taste her Scorpion Stew)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Why, my Scorpion Stew is ice cold. Fiery, here, boy. Light the fire. Now where has that dragon gotten to?
 * (Fiery is Sniffing Out on the Trail)
 * Patrick: Gee, Squidward, swamp running is fun.
 * (Fiery Hears Laughter Coming Through the Lurky Swamp)
 * (Cut to SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl Running on Stones)
 * Patrick: How'd you think of this place?
 * Squidward: I don't know, Patrick. In my dreams, I think. Crikey!
 * (Squidward Leaps into SpongeBob's Arms)
 * Squidward: This dream just turned into a nightmare!
 * SpongeBob: Yeah! alligator nightmare!
 * SpongeBob and Squidward: Help!
 * Patrick: Hang on, SpongeBob. PatrickSpongeBob and his Friends to the rescue!
 * (Rope Breaks)
 * Patrick: Uh-oh.
 * (She Hops on an Alligator)
 * (Squidward Grabs her Hand)
 * Squidward: Nice going, Patrick, but too late.
 * SpongeBob: Squidward!
 * Squidward: I never thought we'd end up alligator appetizers!
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, this girl is going down swinging.
 * Selena: Try swinging with me.
 * (Selena Grabs SpongeBob and his Friends)
 * (The Alligators Fail to Get Them)
 * (Selena Changes into a Human)
 * Squidward: Not too bat an escape, right, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, Squidward.
 * Sandy: Yeah. Thanks for the help.
 * Selena: I need some help myself. Wendy must be playing hide-and-shriek. I can't find her anywhere.
 * Patrick: This swamp is a little bothering.
 * Pearl: Don't worry. We'll all go look for them.
 * Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. (Gasps)
 * Selena: And I'll search by air. (She Changes Back to a Bat)
 * (Meanwhile the Jacobs Cadets are Walking)
 * Jimmy: Hey, what's that up there? This swamp's got bats!
 * Ken: Better look down here. We're back in the mud again.
 * Jeff Rogers: Negative. I think this is...
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Quicksand!
 * Jimmy: What do we do now, Thomas?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: We use our basic survival skills, like yelling for help!
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative. Help!
 * Jacobs Cadets: Help!
 * Linda: Sounds like those smart aleck Jacobs Cadets.
 * Susie: Maybe they're playing in the swamp, too.
 * (They Went to Find Them)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Someone's coming.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative. It's those Seasmith Girls.
 * Ken: Quick! Help us out.
 * Susie: But why? Swimming in quicksand is fun.
 * Jeff Rogers: Fun? That's a negative.
 * Ken: On the double!
 * Jimmy: If not sooner!
 * Linda: Well, Susie, if they insist.
 * Susie: What a bunch of spoilsports.
 * (Linda Helps the Jacobs Cadets Out of the Quicksand)
 * (Jacobs Cadets Scream)
 * Ken: Oh, thanks for getting us out, girls.
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.

Dodging the Bagantulas:

 * Thomas Schaeffer: Now we'd better find a way out of this swamp. Forward, Cadets!
 * (Fiery Comes by and Sniffs Thomas's Foot, Snarling)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Retreat!
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative! Advance to the rear!
 * Sandy: No sign of the girls, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Uh-oh.
 * Squidward: I'm beginning to get a bad feeling about this swamp.
 * Sandy: Hold it, Squidward. Maybe Selena has good news.
 * (Selena Screeching)
 * Squidward: Does that mean you found Wendy?
 * (Selena Screeching)
 * Squidward: I think she wants us to follow.
 * (They Run Until SpongeBob Gets Snagged By a Tree)
 * (This Causes SpongeBob to Spin, and Sends him Flying)
 * Sandy: There goes SpongeBob, not wanting to be last anymore.
 * (SpongeBob Lands on Fiery, Who Snarls)
 * SpongeBob: Oops!
 * (Fiery Spews Fire at him, and Chases him)
 * (SpongeBob Screaming)
 * (Fiery Runs After him)
 * Squidward: I wish our brother SpongeBob would learn to not play with Fiery.
 * (Selena Sees Wendy with Bagantulas)
 * Selena: Oh, no!
 * (She Flies to the Other Ghouls)
 * Selena: Wendy's at the shack. But she's surrounded by bagantulas.
 * Anne: Follow me.
 * (The Ghouls Went with Selena)
 * (The Bagantulas Try to Attack Wendy, But Wendy Dodges)
 * (The Bagantula Hits a Rock)
 * Underfloor: Nice moves.
 * (Underfloor Pounces Wendy)
 * Underfloor: Too bad you're out here all alone.
 * Selena (Off-Screen): Get away from Wendy!
 * (Selena, as a Human, Knocks Underfloor Down)
 * Wendy: Selena! You're here!
 * Selena: Of course!
 * Underfloor: Isn't this a touching little friendship?
 * Selena: Think you can take us all on?
 * Underfloor: All of you girls? I'll take those arts.
 * Paula (Off-Screen): Gangway!
 * (The Girls Appear)
 * (Susie Charges and a Bagantula Scares her)
 * (Susie Smacks the Bat): No! Bad bagantula! Bad bagantula! Go home!
 * (Bagantula Screeches)
 * (Gay Makes Funny Faces Loudly)
 * (The Bagantulas Fly Away in Fear)
 * (Susie Gives Gay High Five): Yeah!
 * (SpongeBob Hides in the Shack to Lose Fiery)
 * (Fiery Still Runs)
 * (SpongeBob Snickering)
 * (Wendy Taps on SpongeBob's Shoulder)
 * SpongeBob: Yikes! Are you okay, Wendy?
 * Wendy: Underfloor's right behind you. Look out!
 * (Underfloor Grabs SpongeBob)
 * Underfloor: Gotcha!
 * SpongeBob: Help!
 * Underfloor: Discoloration does not like meddlers.
 * SpongeBob: N-N-Not me!
 * (SpongeBob Tries to Run Away from Underfloor, when Fire Burns Underfloor)
 * Underfloor: Yeow!
 * (Fiery Blows Fire at Underfloor)
 * (Underfloor Screaming)
 * (Underfloor Runs into a Lake and Puts Out the Fire)
 * Underfloor: You two will pay for this!
 * (Fiery Becomes SpongeBob's Friend)
 * (SpongeBob Shakes Fiery's Hand and Laughs, Then He, and Fiery Run)
 * Underfloor: No one escapes Underfloor.
 * Selena: That's what you think.
 * (The Girls and SpongeBob Look at Him)
 * Underfloor: All the girls. Forget it!
 * (He Leaves)
 * Wendy: Thanks, guys. And SpongeBob, I owe you everything for stopping Underfloor.
 * Underfloor: Hey! I can hear you!
 * SpongeBob: I think we should get back to the other SpongeBob and his Friends.
 * Paula: Oh sure. Now he tells us.
 * Discoloration (Angrily): The Seasmith's girls... defeated you... AGAIN?!?!
 * Underfloor: Uh, no! Discoloration, it's not what it seems. It was a SpongeBob and his Friends who knocked away the bagantulas.
 * Discoloration (Angrily): SpongeBob and his Friends knocked my bagantulas away?
 * Underfloor: Y-Yeah. You should've seen them. Roaring at the bats, dodging them, and even Fiery saved them.
 * Discoloration: So, SpongeBob and his Friends have saved the girls while trying to foil my plan. (Chuckles) That's perfect!
 * Underfloor: It is?
 * Discoloration: Of course! It means all we have to do is unleash the BB-Rex. Then he will do more damage to SpongeBob and his Friends that I ever could! (Sinister Laughing)

SpongeBob and his Friends Team Up:

 * (Discoloration's Sinister Laugh Echoes Startling Everyone)
 * Susie: It's like she knows what we're planning.
 * Linda: Witchy woman. Scary.
 * Melanie: What do we do?
 * Anne: Maybe we should go back to school.
 * SpongeBob: No! Everyone, listen. Discoloration's just trying to kidnap you.
 * Anne: Well, it's working.
 * Wendy: If she can set a trap to kidnap us, what chance do we have against her?
 * Selena: SpongeBob, we do know how to defeat Discoloration, don't we?
 * SpongeBob: Well... not exactly.
 * Thomas Schaeffer (Off-Screen): I think we can help you out there.
 * (He and the Other Cadets Appear)
 * SpongeBob: Jacobs Cadets? What's going on?
 * Jeff Rogers: I know it sounds odd, but I think you have to hear what Thomas has to say.
 * Patrick: Thomas, what brings you here?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: We, uh, we know some stuff that might be helpful.
 * Patrick: Helpful how?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: We know how to defeat Discoloration.
 * (SpongeBob and Patrick Look at Each Other)
 * Patrick: And why should we believe you? The leader of the Jacobs Cadets?
 * Jeff Rogers: Go on.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Uh, well, "The Jacobs Code says we help--"
 * Jeff Rogers: Thomas! I meant tell Patrick what we know.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah. Right.
 * Patrick: No offense, Jeff, but it is difficult for me to believe that Thomas has changed sides.
 * Wendy: Patrick, you kept me out of trouble when my parents told SpongeBob to. If Thomas's information is useful, we should use it to beat Discoloration. If it isn't, then we werewolves will be happy to eat him.
 * (Thomas Gulps)
 * SpongeBob: Wendy's right, Patrick. If the cadets believe Thomas, I think we should at least hear what he has to say.
 * Patrick: SpongeBob, always willing to forgive your friends. It's a noble trait, and part of what makes you you. Very well, Thomas.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Okay. Well, the Jacobs code says that only SpongeBob and his Friends can defeat her by leading her to a lava pit.
 * SpongeBob: If we bring Discoloration, I guess she can fall in the lava.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: But it's gotta be the most powerful trap we can find.
 * Sandy: Oh, yeah! Just trap Discoloration in the lava.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: And we gotta lure her into a trap, so we know she's too heavy.
 * Squidward: Lure her into a trap?
 * Pearl: Huh. Giving there will be hard.
 * Mr. Krabs: Indeed.
 * Patrick: All the more reason to proceed with the plan to attack the bagantulas.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, but now it's not just about defeating Discoloration's army. We have a plan to defeat Discoloration as well.
 * Jeff Rogers: The cadets will help, too, SpongeBob. Right?
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Yeah, that's right.
 * (Cut to the Seasmith Girls): All the girls will help.
 * Seasmith Girls: Yeah!
 * Patrick: Very well. SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Everyone, team up. Today we go to the castle.
 * Patrick: Discoloration and her forces will be defeated once and for all. And we will have the girls back to the school.
 * (Everyone Cheers)
 * Susie: I like SpongeBob and his Friends, Thomas.
 * Paula: Me, too. Patrick's so pretty.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Yeah. I think we're on the right side now.
 * Jeff Rogers: We sure are. (Giggles)
 * Thomas Schaeffer: You know, I think I could get used to the Jacobs Code.

BB-Rex:

 * (Everyone Came to the Castle, but the Door was Locked)
 * SpongeBob: The door is locked.
 * Becky: How do we unlock the door?
 * Paula: Maybe if we find a trampoline we can bounce to the top.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Are you kidding? I say we call the phone and deliver some burgers.
 * Rebecca: How about a soda, with fries and a hot dog?
 * Paula: What about me?
 * Rebecca: Ah, you can be anyone that comes with the meal.
 * Gay (Off-Screen): Hey, guys.
 * (Gay Unlocks the Door with her Tail)
 * Gay: Bingo.
 * Paula: That's one talented tail, Gay. (Laughs)
 * Gay: Yeah. (Laughs)
 * SpongeBob: Gee, this place is humungous. We'll have to split up. Me, Fiery, and my friends will take the left, you Jacobs Cadets and Seasmith Girls take the right.
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends and Fiery Came to a Left Side and See What Appears to Be a Well Like Arena)
 * SpongeBob: Talk about soggy.
 * Patrick: Yeah. Some meanie is up to no good.
 * Underfloor: I've just begun to be mean.
 * Mr. Krabs: Nice try, buster, but we're not afraid to fight.
 * Underfloor: Neither is the giant BB-Rex.
 * SpongeBob and his Friends: BB-Rex?
 * Underfloor: Look. He lives down there.
 * (BB-Rex Comes Out of the Water)
 * (BB-Rex Laughing Sinisterly)
 * Selena: We gotta distract Discoloration and Underfloor.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Right. Let's go back and get SpongeBob and his Friends.
 * (BB-Rex Laughing)
 * Squidward: This is no time for games, Pearl.
 * Pearl: I'm hoping he'll play ball with me, Pearl. (She Throws the Ball to BB-Rex)
 * BB-Rex: Huh?
 * Pearl: Your turn, Fiery.
 * (Fiery Hits the Ball with his Tail)
 * (The Ball Bounces Ricocheting)
 * (The Ball Hits SpongeBob's Head)
 * Pearl: That's it, SpongeBob.
 * (The Ball Bounces Again)
 * (BB-Rex Hits the Ball)
 * Pearl: Nice shot, BB-Rex.
 * Sandy: I hope you're gonna let him win, Pearl. He looks like a sore loser.
 * Pearl: Come on, SpongeBob. Kick it high.
 * (SpongeBob Kicks the Ball with his Foot Behind his Back)
 * (The Ball Bounces Up for the BB-Rex to Reach)
 * Pearl: Now's our chance, guys. Going up!
 * (Flames Follows)
 * Patrick: It's like an elevator, right, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, Patrick.
 * (BB-Rex Catches the Ball)
 * Squidward: Thanks for the lift. You can keep the ball.
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends and Fiery Found the Seasmith Girls and Jacobs Cadets)
 * Mr. Krabs: There you are, guys. I was amazed. I'm un-eatable.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Yeah. Now let's get to Discoloration.
 * (Everyone Cheers in Agreement and Run Off)

Underfloor Chases SpongeBob/Underfloor's Demise:

 * (Underfloor Blocks Everyone's Way)
 * Underfloor: Get out of here or else!
 * Linda: You can't tell us what to do.
 * Underfloor: Then watch what I can do to your friends.
 * (Underfloor Throws a Potion at SpongeBob Turning him into a Frog)
 * Patrick: Oh, my gosh! What on Earth has he done to you, SpongeBob?
 * (SpongeBob Croaks and Hops, But is Caught by Underfloor)
 * Underfloor: I'll change the others into something worse than toads, unless you all get out of here!
 * Selena (Off-Screen): Ah, you lose, Underfloor.
 * (SpongeBob Croaks and Hops Away from Underfloor)
 * (Underfloor Chases Him)
 * (Patrick and Susie Tie an Anvil with a Rope)
 * (Then They Tie Underfloor's Foot with a Rope)
 * (The Anvil Drops into the Water, and Seeing this, Underfloor Falls into the Well)
 * (Underfloor Coughs and Sputters, and Screams, Trying to Get Away but is Too Late, The BB-Rex Swallowed him Hole)
 * Paula: Now that, Patrick, was swallowed. (Laughs)
 * Anne: I want SpongeBob back!
 * (She Turns SpongeBob Back into a Human)
 * SpongeBob: Thanks, Anne.

Final Battle/Discoloration's Death:

 * (SpongeBob and his Friends and Seasmith Girls Hear a Sinister Chuckle)
 * (Discoloration Comes Out of the Shadows)
 * Discoloration: I seem surprise to see the arrogant child turned the frog into a human. I can't imagine why. I wasn't going to stop me. You see, you were disobedient to me, fools, surely you realize that I simply cannot lose to you.
 * Selena: Hide.
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Hide)
 * Discoloration: Oh you're trying to escape me. How quaint.
 * (Discoloration Transforms into a Magical Being)
 * Discoloration: No matter how fast you run... no matter where you hide... I'll catch you.
 * (Linda and Gay Peaked from Behind the Wall)
 * (They Saw Discoloration Still Hunting)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Peek, Too)
 * (Linda and Gay Thought up a Plan)
 * Gay: Linda, time to go out with a rattle.
 * (They Started Rattling Some Noise to Get Discoloration's Attention)
 * Ken: Wow! Everyone knows the rattle for this one!
 * Jeff Rogers: Affirmative.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: These guys worked!
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Peeked Behind the Wall)
 * (Selena and Wendy Begin to Rattle Their Pots and Pans)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Did the Same Thing that Confuses the Magical Being)
 * (Discoloration, Annoyed, Approaches SpongeBob and his Friends' Hideout But at a Faster Than Before)
 * Susie: It's working.
 * (They Began to Rattle in Their Pots and Pans and Irritated Discoloration Even More)
 * (Discoloration Rushed Towards Seasmith's Girls Hiding Place)
 * (But Before She Could Reach it, Patrick and Mr. Krabs Started Rattling Again)
 * (This Confused Discoloration to a Much Greater Extent, But Also Angering Her)
 * (She Tried to Reach the Hiding place, But Fiery Began to Rattle Over his Pots and Pans)
 * (All the pots and pans Rattled Loudly)
 * (This One Confused Discoloration as She Lets Out a Roar of Frustration)
 * (Pearl Accidentally Drops the Pots and Pans Down to the Ground)
 * (This Caught Discoloration's Attention as She Sees SpongeBob and his Friends)
 * Pearl: Oh, no.
 * (Discoloration Laughs): Well, if it isn't a great twist. So, what's going to happen? Girls or the rude SpongeBob and his Friends?
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends were Discoloration's Mercy)
 * Discoloration: I'm waiting.
 * (The Girls Saw SpongeBob and his Friends were in Trouble)
 * Selena: NO, STOP!
 * (Discoloration Looks at the Girls, Giving Up, and Laughs Sinisterly): Playtime's over, girls.
 * (She Charges at Them Roaring)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Flee for their Lives)
 * Rebecca: GUYS, LOOK OUT!
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Look Behind and See Discoloration On their Tail)
 * (They Fled Until they See a Lava Gap)
 * Pearl: OH, NO!
 * SpongeBob: WE CAN DO IT! JUMP!
 * (They Jumped and Landed on the Floor)
 * (Discoloration Jumps, Too, But Manages to Grab the Other Side of the Abyss and the Floor)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Try to Stay Away from Discoloration)
 * SpongeBob: Come on.
 * (Discoloration was Close Behind them)
 * Discoloration: You're mine.
 * (Suddenly the Floor Begins to Crack, and Discoloration was Holding On to her Beloved Life)
 * (Discoloration Loses her Grip and Falls to her Doom)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Jump and Land on the Ground, and the Girls are Relieved)
 * (Discoloration Lands on a Small Island, and Rocks Crush her)
 * (Everyone Flees)
 * Patrick: Good golly. It looks like Discoloration is never the same again.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah.
 * Thomas Schaeffer: Hold on, girls. We'll have you back to school in no time.
 * Linda: Back to school? How about dropping us back in the swamp?
 * Susie: Yeah. We never got to take a dip in the quicksand.
 * Ken: I'll never understand girls.
 * Roland: Especially Seasmith Girls.
 * (All Laugh)

The Seasmith Goodbye:

 * (Back at the School, the Jacobs Cadets, the Seasmith Girls, and SpongeBob and his Friends Return)
 * Mrs. Seasmith: There they are!
 * Colonel Jacobs: . They're okay!
 * SpongeBob: Everyone, Discoloration has been defeated. The girls are no longer in trouble.
 * (Everyone Cheers)
 * Pearl: Now let's have the best party ever.
 * (Scene Fades to Outside of School, and We Hear Rap Music Inside)
 * Patrick: So with the Cadets, it was a snap to escape Discoloration's trap. Now let's get loose and dance and clap while I lay on my Patrick Rap. Over there is Daddy Drac who's glad to have his daughter back, and all the guys from Jacobs a day are here to dance the night away. And there's Mrs. S with Colonel J grooving too my melody.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Your boys were very gallant to go after my girls.
 * (Colonel Jacobs Gasps)
 * (The Hand Dances with Mrs. Seasmith)
 * Patrick: And Jimmy's with Linda Frankenstein who wants to be a slam dance slime, and Paula really does her thing, a dance for two, the Paula fling. Squidward and my friend SpongeBob are always in a junky ham.
 * Squidward: Great party, Mrs. S.
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Oh, I hope the new arrivals think so, too.
 * Squidward: Huh? New arrivals?
 * Mrs. Seasmith: Over there. Meet your new students, and their parents.
 * Squidward: New st-st-st-st-st-students? Meet us in California.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, Florida.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Run)
 * Patrick: Gee, we'd better do like SpongeBob, and skidoo.
 * (Patrick Gives Fiery High Five, and the Rest Leave)
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Cowardly Run Out)
 * (Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Pearl Run Out, Too)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Home on Land)
 * Mr. Krabs: Look, everyone, the girls are waving goodbye.
 * (SpongeBob and Squidward Look Back)
 * Seasmith Girls: Goodbye.
 * Squidward: Let's give 'em a real Seasmith goodbye, huh, guys?
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh! Toodle-oo-awoo!
 * (The Rest Howl with SpongeBob)
 * (SpongeBob and his Friends Walk Back to Bikini Bottom)
 * (Screen Fades Black)